To ask if you had your time again would you make the same family decisions

[Fragmentedbrain]

Who/if you married
Whether or not you had kids
How you managed your adult relationships with siblings/parents

I would start a family earlier than I did, which would mean I probably would have chosen a different partner to do that. But then I don't want a different partner because then I wouldn't have had the shared experiences and opportunities together that we've had.

It's a tricky one.

I would have had my child with now husband. I'm tied to my ex forever now.

No.

I’d say the truth in family court so I’d be adopted/fostered instead of being stuck in FOO in the name of “blood being thicker” and all that crap. I wouldn’t be their cash cow and my 1st bf’s either.

I’d maybe have an education and better earning potential.
I wouldn’t be skint for decades working my bones off to unwillingly subsidise others.

Maybe I would be able to say “no” in my childhood,adolescent and young adult years instead of being hit,screamed at and stonewalled.

I love my kids but made a wrong choice with life partner. XH turned out to be a product of dysfunctional family as well but in a different way so now I’m dealing with their legacy.

This is what shit upbringing does to you. You accept every scrap of kindness and cling to it even if it’s detrimental to you in long term because that’s what you’ve been taught by your FOO and as a result by the others- your
needs don’t matter,don’t make a fuss, you exist to facilitate the life of others.

Nearly 50 now and finally putting myself first.
Learned a bit late but can share experience with younger females so they wouldn’t end up in later life with nothing like me.

its great. They are all amazing young adults.The eldest has severe learning disabilities and it’s been a challenge to say the least. But mostly I wouldn’t have any because this world is so messed up.

I would still marry DH and have DS and Dcats 1 &2, wouldn't change them for anything. I wouldn't have adopted Dcat 3, not because I didn't love her but because we weren't the right fit for her and she would have done better with another family.

I would have cut off my dad and Step mum earlier and got myself EMDR with my amazing clinical psychologist earlier if I could (I probably couldn't have afforded it though).

I wouldn't have done IVF to have a second child, 15000 down the pan and it had a big impact on my health and wellbeing. Very happy with the one DC we have.

I would have made more effort with my grandma during the dementia years. I found it very sad and scary and so hid from it a lot. I should have been there for her more.

Overall I have a wonderful life so am not desperate to change anything.

Who/if you married
Hell no. Wish I had known about red flags 50 years ago.

Whether or not you had kids
Never regretted having my DC. Have had many regrets in my parenting of them, mostly about giving way to ex.

How you managed your adult relationships with siblings/parents
Would have ditched siblings a lot sooner.

Would have made more of an effort with DM. After having my eyes opened I now see she was also in a hellish marriage. My life has followed the same path as hers despite me trying to find the opposite man to my DF🙁

Husband and kids- exactly the same, except I might have had a third rather than stopping at two (kids not husbands!)
I would have forgiven my mum a lot sooner.

What do you mean you wouldn’t have had any because the world is messed up? Are none of your children happy and thriving and you put that down to the world being messed up? I am genuinely curious, absolutely zero judgement

Although my husband can be difficult (noisy, grumpy, impatient, no real emotional support to me) I don’t regret my choice. He loves me unconditionally, is faithful, supportive of whatever I want to do and has been a good ‘provider’ (it’s been a happy option for me not to work). We’ve been together for nearly 40 years.

Two kids, two years apart, in my late twenties. I would do the exact same again.

My one real relationship regret is the internal one - not valuing myself more, earlier. It took me until my fifties to do the work on myself.