To think therapy-speak has ruined how people talk to each other?

[ThisLimeMoose]

“Holding space” doesn’t excuse being a passive-aggressive flake.

People use a therapist or anonymous online forum because they are more likely to get a truthful answer. Friends don’t want to upset you and make things awkward so are less likely to tell you things like strangers will.

It also works the other way too. It’s easier to tell a therapist or forum what’s going on because there’s no chance that they’ll tell people that you know and if they judge you, then it matters less as they don’t know who you are. It’s tough being flamed on a forum but you can name change or change forms and nobody will know it was you. Your friends’ opinions of you usually matter and not everyone is brave enough to risk tarnishing their reputation.

Sure. But the number of good therapists is a small fraction of the whole industry.

Therapy is a Wild West of high-charging, largely unregulated, snake oil sellers.

Maybe you can 'reach out' to us (or just ask).

I’ve never heard of holding space.
Having said that, I hear loads of phrases now which I don’t really get.

Oh I hate it! I can fully understand people using therapy and counselling as a great tool, but my god it gets tedious listening to people self diagnose others and try and have to label every emotion and feeling. People diagnosing others as “classic narcissist” and the likes.
The word I find the most annoying is “triggering/triggered” (and I see the irony) but it infuriates me.

Resonate, my truth, the narrative: bleugh!!

That's entirely true. But my point still stands.

Also I wish they'd regulate, and do more to educate people about the different kinds of therapy, what a session of phycoanalytic psychotherapy looks like in comparison to a session of councilling, or CBT, or EMDR. What conditions each help with best; how long they take to effect change; how long the change lasts for; which would work best for a person looking for understanding of themselves versus a person wanting set of tools and techniques to draw on. Make it clear to the public what kind of training each of the different professions have; what experience they have once qualified; what personal therapy the therapist had; what ongoing supervision or support they have from their peers; the complaints procedure if you're unhappy with how they behave.

Nobody has ever talked to me about holding space. You're talking to the wrong people.

😀😁😂

No, my friends, acquaintances, colleagues and family don't use therapy speak. Even though MIL was a counsellor. Can't say as I've heard it from anyone else I meet either.

Try being an English teacher:
“No Jayden, I don’t think we should refer to Macbeth as a narcissist…”

Same here. Even therapists I know don't talk like that, let alone other people I know.

Actually this is a good point, Ive read threads about (real) historical figures and how some people seem to put a diagnosis or modern spin on figures from old, its completely disconnected.

A thread recently had people talking about Henry VIII as if he had a variety of different diagnoses, he was this, he was that etc etc

No, he was King and one of the most powerful people in the world at the time so he literally was entitled to do what he wanted, there was no 'rights and wrongs' of it because what he said went.

I'd say that's a very shallow understanding of both history and psychology.

The widespread use of the words triggered or triggering to describe something that mildly upsets people is a pain for people who actually work in Mental Health or related fields. We've been talking to people with very genuine mental health issues about the importance of understanding and avoiding their "triggers" for decades. Not as in "things that upset you" but "things that are likely to cause or exaccerbate the symptoms of your mental illness". For example, lack of sleep could trigger an episode in someone with Bipolar Disorder, or using cannabis could trigger a relapse of Psychotic symptoms, or the sound of a door slamming loudly could trigger a flashback in someone who has PTSD from Domestic Abuse. But now whenever you mention the word "triggers" people roll their eyes, because they think they're about to be patronised, they associate it with people being overly sensitive or getting upset about trivial things.

Therapist Notes (confidential):
Client: Macbeth M. Presents with acute prophecy-triggered ambition. Partner is highly enabling. Possibly co-narcissistic dynamic at play.
He intellectualises violent ideation while maintaining a surface-level moral conflict (“If it were done when ’tis done…” etc). We discussed his tendency to catastrophise and his reliance on external validation, particularly from three ambiguous female authority figures (possibly early maternal projection?)

No idea, never heard of it.

My truth. That's a really annoying and pathetic phrase. I understand why recollections may vary as a reply since 'my truth' seems to be used by people who are really unreasonable and narcissistic.

Why can't we think about a historical figure's mental health? Isn't it an interesting exercise to explore his motivations and the responses to him from those close to him?

Yes he was king and was all powerful (almost all powerful) but he was a man with a personality, physical and mental health too

I studied both at university so not really!

I also work with a large number of service users with actual real psychological and MH diagnoses

All the people on here 'diagnosing' their relationship along the lines of 'he treats me badly because he's an anxious avoidant'.

No, he treats you badly because he's a tosser.

Because the concept of mental health and ill health is socially constructed.

The actions that a figure like him take are led by the social norms, political norms and cultural norms of the time and his status. He stepped out of that for some of his behaviour, beheading 2 wives, but even then, it wasnt that different to king and queen killing that had come before him and after.

Vlad the Impaler on the other hand was viewed by his peers and contemporaries as beyond the pale. Elizabeth I refused to consider a prospective marriage proposal from him.

Drives me mad! So much time wasted trying to diagnose, therapise and fix some twat.

Oh dear.

This! My God, the widespread use of instatherapy jargon has been the bane of my life as someone who works in mental health provision, trying to support people who often have very complex psychiatric issues.

Why not? Would you not describe some of his actions as narcissistic? Why are you limiting the curiosity and understanding of your students? Don't you want them to consider his motivations? Narcissism didn't exist as a psychological concept when Shakespeare was alive, but it still existed as a personality trait, just without a label.
Shakespeare really missed a trick by recognising the trait, incorporating it into his character and not inventing a new word for it.
I understand that teachers have to teach subjects to pass exams, making sure the correct keywords are used for the mark scheme and time is limited, but why shut down independent thought on the topic your teaching? I'm sad for Jayden