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AIBU?

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Kid screen time hell

77 replies

GreenTurtles3 · 15/06/2025 20:00

I have 3 children age 5-8. 2 can manage screen time I think appropriately -do lots of other things; sports, Lego, games, reading, toys as well as watch tv and play some switch games. My 8 year old DD however would be on screens 24/7 if I let her. She plays Roblox with her cousin and 3 friends from school under my supervision and really enjoys it, laughing all the time and chatting via video call at the same time. She also likes to watch what I call American Brain Mush on YouTube. Kids just opening boxes of plastic shit or trying on clothes.
I am not happy with her dependence on screens and as a result we seem to be 'at war' a lot of the time. With me nagging her to get off screens or her begging me for more screen time. She doesn't have any friends to play with where we live which makes me feel guilty for taking away her mode of socialising. She says everyone else has unlimited access to screens and that I am making her 'weird' to her friends. I just don't know what to do. Am I a dinosaur mum? Do I need to move with the times?
tonight I've taken away her iPad as she refused to end her game and have a shower ready for school tomorrow. I'm planning on keeping it hidden all week for us all to have a reset. Am I out of order? She's a lovely kid with a gorgeous heart and I don't want to be upsetting her but I feel I have a duty to keep her screen time in check. Help!

OP posts:
Masmavi · 17/06/2025 00:41

Just set limits. It’s not hard, but you seem to want it to be easy. One of my children has more difficulty entertaining themselves than the others - they often just need to be set up with something and then will forget about a screen for a long time. Not being bored without screens is something that needs to be practised. No child is going to welcome it at first.

EllieQ · 17/06/2025 13:50

GreenTurtles3 · 15/06/2025 22:48

Wow that's amazing that your child's peers have limitations too. I honestly feel like the odd one out in my mum circles or social circle. Lots of my daughter's peers have YouTube, tik tok, many have their own phones at 8. I am actually horrified.

I’d find that shocking too, especially the access to social media like TikTok.

In contrast, my DD is 10 and I’d say only a few children in her class have phones (mainly for contact with separated parents). Her school has signed up to the Smartphone Free Childhood pledge (mentioned by previous posters) and a lot of the parents are supportive. I can see that with a different ‘school culture’, it’s more difficult to enforce restrictions when no one else does.

The school hosted a talk from the group which was quite eye-opening - the police liaison officer there said that issues they had previously seen at secondary school (grooming, inappropriate material being shared) are now happening at primary schools.

Having said all that, my DD is allowed to play Roblox, with parental controls, and I know the social aspect is important. However, she only plays on the family laptop when one of us is around. Likewise she can watch YouTube but again only on the family laptop or my iPad, when we’re around. She doesn’t have her own iPad or tablet as I think she’s too young, though some of her friends have their own. We were quite strict about screen time at age 8, but now we’re a bit more relaxed as she can regulate herself a bit. However, I do make the effort to keep her busy, especially at weekends, to reduce the time she can go on the laptop.

I also agreed with the comments that @Ecrire made about how your DD sounds overlooked in a busy household, including not being able to have swimming lessons because of her younger siblings schedule (if I’m reading your posts correctly), but I see that you have responded in a later post.

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