I think my partner despises me.

[HelenKnowsTheOwner]

I’m so annoyed with my partner.

I’m currently in the midst of a very upsetting miscarriage, my eldest had a night in hospital and I don’t know if it’s hormones but I really am starting to hate my him.

For starters, he is aware I am miscarrying and has been totally fucking unbothered, has been ordering me round as normal, shouting at me that I haven’t done any washing or drying, moaned that he “lost a days pay” because he took a day off sick. I’ve been at the EPU every morning for bloods. I went on my own.

DD spent a night on an IV drip on Thursday, she had what they queried as sepsis. After moaning that I was over reacting my partner (her dad) took us, then left because his 20 year old grown man brother needed a lift home from work. So whilst miscarrying my child I was sat worrying about my eldest.

He stayed at his brothers house last night and left me, still bleeding heavily, to look after our 2 children.
I ended up going to my mums, he won’t sit in the hospital with me or the kids but when the same brother fell off his motorbike he went straight there and sat with him until they discharged him.

We have a child free night tonight, I’ve been told he needs to be in silence and doesn’t want to hear yapping and has gone to sit in the bedroom. Meanwhile manages to not sit in silence at his brothers house or his friends.

There have always been things he’s done that have hurt me, however the nice/nasty cycle has always drawn me back. Today, I am so fucking angry, I’m writing this literally shaking from rage, I don’t know whether I’m hormonal or just absolutely appalled that he’s treated us so bad.

I don’t get why he is like this with us, I’ve been so used to carrying all the load emotionally and physically but this is just insane - does he fucking hate me or something.

Although you say he won't give a shit if you pack up and leave id still say be cautious and it'd be good to speak to someone like I suggested. It can help you , its not easy doing it without that. I did it on my own and didn't expect things to get worse...then I did need help , was no other option. Ended up solicitor and police at times . Im just saying this because I, similar to you, didn't know that the manipulative uncaring , emotionally abusive behaviour was classed as domestic abuse. And like you , I knew he'd not care if I split at this point. It's like you want to end it many times, then there finally comes a final straw, the one theres no going back...with me it was his behaviour to my eldest daughter and silent treatment for days( not unusual)
Although he doesn't act like he gives a shit, he can still want to make things hard for you.
If hes controlling with money this can cause problems on splitting too. And with Children they can be used to get at you.
You're a strong person having gone through what you have. Get that support i hope you do. You can do this it will be worth it. Xx

So sorry about your miscarriage OP. It does sound as though he hates you. I feel you would get more kindness from a stranger in your situation than your DH. What does he bring to your life?