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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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19
miraxxx · 17/06/2025 11:39

MiloMinderbinder925 · 17/06/2025 11:35

Your contribution is appreciated.

In rupees?

MiloMinderbinder925 · 17/06/2025 11:41

miraxxx · 17/06/2025 11:39

In rupees?

Boom boom tish!

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 17/06/2025 11:44

There is currently a backlog of over 450,000 cases awaiting to be investigated for child sex offences, the backlog is so large that the courts and police are unable to keep up.

There is not enough computer forensic specialists to keep up with the demand.

During Covid the government and schools promoted a website called teen.chat.org…

I am currently dealing with a family whose child was groomed aged 12, on the above website that their school promoted during Covid, (family found out age 13)

Family reported to the police , social services and school for help, all services refused help as the child came from a good family…

14 months later the child was arrested for distribution of child sexual images … the images that the child’s groomers threatened them and expose them if they didn’t share the images on a black market forum on the gaming site Discord.

10 months later, the child’s computer is still waiting to be forensically searched , child is still on bail.

Social services have advised there is no specialist help for the child even tho the child has been exposed to sexually harmful behaviours and they are wishing to close the case (parents have refused)

On an additional note, if any families need support in relation to this, I’d recommend the Lucy Faithfull Foundation. https://www.lucyfaithfull.org.uk/

Lucy Faithfull Foundation - Preventing child sexual abuse

Lucy Faithfull Foundation works to protect children by working with people who pose a risk and diverting them from causing harm.

https://www.lucyfaithfull.org.uk

C8H10N4O2 · 17/06/2025 11:50

inkognitha · 17/06/2025 10:12

One can whatabout all over the threads until heads are spinning, but the poll is not lying, 92% in favour. And MN is a progressive place.

It is high time to talk openly about cultural differences in the UK (which is not racism, it's about culture, not colour), about the neglect of the white (ex)working classes, about the sheer contempt for these children, who have been let down by everyone, time for some people to admit these inconvenient truths do exist and, hopefully, get their head around basic statistics.

The victims in Rotherham were not all white, many were Mipuri women who like the white girls were generally WC with vulnerabilities and regarded as disposable by the gangs. They have written and spoken about their own experiences and the added difficulties they have accessing support but largely been ignored by people only interested in the race of that particular gang’s abusers.

I have no time for La Toynbee’s particular brand of smug “do as I say, luxury beliefs” brand of MC liberalism but its just as ridiculous to claim that this is specifically a Mipuri Pakistani problem and I have zero time for the opportunists from the other side.

The abuse of children and trafficking of young women by gangs isn’t just a crime of sexual abuse its also organised crime. Organised crime usually does have a cultural/family group at core, be they North London Albanian gangs, Liverpool/Glasgow sectarian based gangs, the old Yardies in South London, the East End families like the Krays or the Italian Mafia.

Most of the convictions from grooming gangs have been white, in Rotherham they were Mipuri Pakistani groups, others have been of different ethnic origins.

The culture is relevant to organised crime as it dictates how specific gangs recruit and control members, the groups they link up with and sometimes the areas of “business”. It also often dictates tactics they can use to suppress the legal and welfare systems.

So the culture of the Rotherham gangs is relevant but mainly to the Rotherham gangs. The culture of East London white gangs is also relevant to how they operate. Studying the culture of how such gangs operate is relevant but has rarely translated into reductions in gang crime. Perhaps it would be better to look hard at the professional classes who in each case have failed the victims.

I would like to see the politicians, offices of the law and social services who dismissed the girls and turned a blind eye prosecuted. I’d like to see the same happen to those involved in ignoring victims of other gangs because the common feature across them is classism, not only race - largely the professional classes tasked with the protection of these girls just saw them as poor, unimportant and disposable.

inkognitha · 17/06/2025 11:52

MiloMinderbinder925 · 17/06/2025 11:25

I see you're not denying your inflammatory views.

I see the goalpost has moved again, how surprising is that?

Between the whataboutery, absymal logical skills, lying, fudging, obfuscation, lack of empathy, simplistic pigeonholing (not sorry to be more complex than you expected to, I suspect it must happen to you a lot and maybe you should reflect on that...), the slander, etc. like many others, I am giving up as always on trying to engage coherently with you.

OP posts:
MiloMinderbinder925 · 17/06/2025 11:55

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

C8H10N4O2 · 17/06/2025 11:57

notnorman · 17/06/2025 10:09

Sure Nazir Afsal wouldn’t be of that opinion if it was Muslim girls and white men

It was Muslim girls and its often white gangs,. Afsal repeatedly went out on a limb on this issue and took huge amounts of stick for it from a liberal establishment and also received death threats. Phillips has also been on the receiving end of such threats. Each of them were significant in keeping the cases alive when their own leaderships wanted them to shut up.

I don’t know the context or accuracy of that quote but its fair to say that not all victims feel the same. It does retraumatise victims to revisit, many want action anyway, some don’t. On balance I’ve heard more who do want a proper review than those who don’t but I would like to see some money put into supporting victims during the inquiry.

cumbriaisbest · 17/06/2025 12:04

ERthree · 17/06/2025 10:49

I think the victims should decide but of course nobody wants to listen to white girls because they will name their attackers and the name won't be john Smith. There is nothing racist about the truth. Those that try and close down communication be screeching racism normally have a lot to hide.

I think ticking away in the background is the terror of the idea that there will be another Southport or another Ballymena.
My understanding is that an enquiry has been done and none of the recommendations followed through. This according to Maggie Oliver.
Why not throw the meagre resources at actually doing something? Listening to those with lived experience.

inkognitha · 17/06/2025 12:10

C8H10N4O2 · 17/06/2025 11:50

The victims in Rotherham were not all white, many were Mipuri women who like the white girls were generally WC with vulnerabilities and regarded as disposable by the gangs. They have written and spoken about their own experiences and the added difficulties they have accessing support but largely been ignored by people only interested in the race of that particular gang’s abusers.

I have no time for La Toynbee’s particular brand of smug “do as I say, luxury beliefs” brand of MC liberalism but its just as ridiculous to claim that this is specifically a Mipuri Pakistani problem and I have zero time for the opportunists from the other side.

The abuse of children and trafficking of young women by gangs isn’t just a crime of sexual abuse its also organised crime. Organised crime usually does have a cultural/family group at core, be they North London Albanian gangs, Liverpool/Glasgow sectarian based gangs, the old Yardies in South London, the East End families like the Krays or the Italian Mafia.

Most of the convictions from grooming gangs have been white, in Rotherham they were Mipuri Pakistani groups, others have been of different ethnic origins.

The culture is relevant to organised crime as it dictates how specific gangs recruit and control members, the groups they link up with and sometimes the areas of “business”. It also often dictates tactics they can use to suppress the legal and welfare systems.

So the culture of the Rotherham gangs is relevant but mainly to the Rotherham gangs. The culture of East London white gangs is also relevant to how they operate. Studying the culture of how such gangs operate is relevant but has rarely translated into reductions in gang crime. Perhaps it would be better to look hard at the professional classes who in each case have failed the victims.

I would like to see the politicians, offices of the law and social services who dismissed the girls and turned a blind eye prosecuted. I’d like to see the same happen to those involved in ignoring victims of other gangs because the common feature across them is classism, not only race - largely the professional classes tasked with the protection of these girls just saw them as poor, unimportant and disposable.

Edited

@C8H10N4O2
I am well aware this abuse targeted as cruelly and unfairly children from all communities.

I wrote and meant "about the neglect of the white (ex)working classes" as a specific point.

In general, I find this group is very poorly represented and considered in British society. The government strategy to deal with "communities" and "community leaders" (where is the scrutiny or the democracy in that?) after destroying the original working-class communities has made them disappear from sight from public and political interest. That's what I meant.

OP posts:
C8H10N4O2 · 17/06/2025 12:14

inkognitha · 17/06/2025 12:10

@C8H10N4O2
I am well aware this abuse targeted as cruelly and unfairly children from all communities.

I wrote and meant "about the neglect of the white (ex)working classes" as a specific point.

In general, I find this group is very poorly represented and considered in British society. The government strategy to deal with "communities" and "community leaders" (where is the scrutiny or the democracy in that?) after destroying the original working-class communities has made them disappear from sight from public and political interest. That's what I meant.

Why do you assume that only white WC communities are treated in this way? Or that the communities are invisible?

Classism is alive and well and applies to WC minorities as well such as, in this case, the Mirpuri women.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 17/06/2025 12:15

Fetaface · 17/06/2025 10:47

It was interesting in the report where they said that it is not possible to draw any conclusions relating to ethnicity because of the missing data.

There's nothing new about the flawed/missing data, @Fetaface; reports have mentioned it for years, but interestingly it doesn't stop some picking whatever bits that suit to insist most group abusers are (insert identifier of choice)

It's true that the Home Office also claimed most such groups are white, but then like all governments they'll claim whatever's politically expedient regardless of the actual facts, knowing perfectly well that the media will do the rest

I would however like to know, given the proven reluctance of our authorities to address this at all, just what influences were brought to bear over that mere one third of cases where ethnicity was noted and whether there was encouragement to gatheer data on some races while leaving others unrecorded, but whether this will ever be focused on is anyone's guess

EasternStandard · 17/06/2025 12:20

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

You’re at odds with the inquiry and new viewpoint.

inkognitha · 17/06/2025 12:30

C8H10N4O2 · 17/06/2025 12:14

Why do you assume that only white WC communities are treated in this way? Or that the communities are invisible?

Classism is alive and well and applies to WC minorities as well such as, in this case, the Mirpuri women.

Another poor reader.

I start with

"I am well aware this abuse targeted as cruelly and unfairly children from all communities."

So I mean all victims, all of them, from all communities. I hope this is now clear.

Having views about the treatment of white working class people in this country does NOT mean I do not care about other communities, even less that I mean for these communities to be unfairly treated or discriminated against.

That's a strange extrapolation of an assumption you make. When you are a charity to help children, this does not mean that you don't care about old people or that you want for old people to be mistreated.

OP posts:
SquashedMallow · 17/06/2025 12:31

inkognitha · 17/06/2025 10:12

One can whatabout all over the threads until heads are spinning, but the poll is not lying, 92% in favour. And MN is a progressive place.

It is high time to talk openly about cultural differences in the UK (which is not racism, it's about culture, not colour), about the neglect of the white (ex)working classes, about the sheer contempt for these children, who have been let down by everyone, time for some people to admit these inconvenient truths do exist and, hopefully, get their head around basic statistics.

Well said op 👏👏👏

SquashedMallow · 17/06/2025 12:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

How honestly dare you accuse the op of those things ? Fucking horrendous

EasternStandard · 17/06/2025 12:37

SquashedMallow · 17/06/2025 12:34

How honestly dare you accuse the op of those things ? Fucking horrendous

Agree. It’s why we’re here, this kind of accusation.

C8H10N4O2 · 17/06/2025 12:50

inkognitha · 17/06/2025 12:30

Another poor reader.

I start with

"I am well aware this abuse targeted as cruelly and unfairly children from all communities."

So I mean all victims, all of them, from all communities. I hope this is now clear.

Having views about the treatment of white working class people in this country does NOT mean I do not care about other communities, even less that I mean for these communities to be unfairly treated or discriminated against.

That's a strange extrapolation of an assumption you make. When you are a charity to help children, this does not mean that you don't care about old people or that you want for old people to be mistreated.

I’m reading you perfectly well in the context of your posts and general line of argument, notably your early glossing over of the Mipuri girls and your insinuation that white WC communities are uniquely hard done by when the reality is that WC communities of all backgrounds experience many common problems.

HTH

inkognitha · 17/06/2025 13:20

C8H10N4O2 · 17/06/2025 12:50

I’m reading you perfectly well in the context of your posts and general line of argument, notably your early glossing over of the Mipuri girls and your insinuation that white WC communities are uniquely hard done by when the reality is that WC communities of all backgrounds experience many common problems.

HTH

If your view of me was matching what I actually say, you wouldn't have to make up spurious arguments and OTT assumptions to bridge the gap ...

OP posts:
Fetaface · 17/06/2025 13:25

Puzzledandpissedoff · 17/06/2025 12:15

There's nothing new about the flawed/missing data, @Fetaface; reports have mentioned it for years, but interestingly it doesn't stop some picking whatever bits that suit to insist most group abusers are (insert identifier of choice)

It's true that the Home Office also claimed most such groups are white, but then like all governments they'll claim whatever's politically expedient regardless of the actual facts, knowing perfectly well that the media will do the rest

I would however like to know, given the proven reluctance of our authorities to address this at all, just what influences were brought to bear over that mere one third of cases where ethnicity was noted and whether there was encouragement to gatheer data on some races while leaving others unrecorded, but whether this will ever be focused on is anyone's guess

Absolutely everyone picks bits which was what I said in my post! I also didn't say it was anything new. I was replying to someone so hence that was why I posted what was said. Not sure why you are implying I am suggesting it is new?

The data does show most are white. The data does show that the highest proportion are pakistani. Both are true at the same time with the data we have.

OpheliaWasntMad · 17/06/2025 13:27

EasternStandard · 17/06/2025 12:37

Agree. It’s why we’re here, this kind of accusation.

Yes - this is EXACTLY the mindset that failed the victims

OpheliaWasntMad · 17/06/2025 13:36

Fetaface · 17/06/2025 10:47

It was interesting in the report where they said that it is not possible to draw any conclusions relating to ethnicity because of the missing data.

Yes - it was very interesting to hear that ethnicity had been crossed out with felt pen.
What was that about I wonder? 🧐

OpheliaWasntMad · 17/06/2025 13:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Shameful response . It’s hard to believe you truly care about the survivors or potential victims in the future

Barr77 · 17/06/2025 13:44

C8H10N4O2 · 17/06/2025 12:50

I’m reading you perfectly well in the context of your posts and general line of argument, notably your early glossing over of the Mipuri girls and your insinuation that white WC communities are uniquely hard done by when the reality is that WC communities of all backgrounds experience many common problems.

HTH

Working-class communities of all backgrounds face serious systemic neglect — that’s not in question. But dismissing what happened to white working-class girls just because others also suffered too isn’t right.

The Casey report makes it clear: white working-class girls were specifically and deliberately targeted in many grooming gang cases. Offenders saw them as “easy,” “available,” and less likely to be protected or believed. That perception came from deep-seated class prejudice and racialised misogyny — the idea that white girls from poor communities were worthless. These girls weren’t treated as victims; they were dismissed as “slags” or “making choices,” even by the very professionals meant to protect them.

No one is saying they’re the only ones suffering. But they’re often amongst the least listened to, most written off, and politically inconvenient. These communities are rarely at the centre of national conversations about injustice. They’re often spoken about, not listened to — and when they do speak, they’re painted as reactionary or backward. That makes them some of the easiest to dismiss — not because their suffering is less real, but because it doesn’t fit the usual narrative.

We can acknowledge the shared struggles of all working-class communities without erasing the specific ways some were targeted.

Fetaface · 17/06/2025 13:45

OpheliaWasntMad · 17/06/2025 13:36

Yes - it was very interesting to hear that ethnicity had been crossed out with felt pen.
What was that about I wonder? 🧐

Do you not know?

Didn't cross out data with me. They just didn't ask. Why is that I wonder?

MiloMinderbinder925 · 17/06/2025 13:47

OpheliaWasntMad · 17/06/2025 13:42

Shameful response . It’s hard to believe you truly care about the survivors or potential victims in the future

The projection is real.