Puppy dilemma - it’s not her, it’s us

[neverwakeasleepingpuppy]

Brought home a gorgeous 2 month puppy two weeks ago; the kids wanted one for years, DP and I are mildly pro-dog, thought it’d be great for us as a family, everyone says they’re great, unconditional love blah blah.

Being fair, she’s a perfect puppy so far - quickly getting the crate and toilet training and is now sleeping through from 11-7am, minimal accidents in the house. Hard work but manageable.

We are the problem - despite her gorgeousness, we are all a little meh. DD2 seems to be allergic; puffy eyes and sneezing. The kids have zero interest - spent maybe 30mins with her since she landed. DP and I are enjoying her somewhat but also my OCD is going through the roof, googling amputees from dog licks etc.

Am interested to hear others views on this as I think it’s a case of it’s not her, it’s us …. the breeder is fine to take her back as she has a waiting list for an adorable puppy who is mostly trained! Just wondering if it’s fairer all around to do this?

It is not reasonable to get a puppy because you are mildly interested. You are finding that this very real puppy is not a toy for the kids.

Having a puppy is hard and often messy WORK! At this age, they need absolute routine and constant consistency in training from ONE leader. If you are not prepared to continue in this fashion you'll end up with an anxious, fussy, or disruptive dog.

If the trainer is happy to take this puppy back, please take it back to them before any more poor training spoils this puppy. Clearly having a puppy is not right for your family at this time, nor in your future unless you get trained to be a trainer!

Yes! I always, always say to people, only get a dog if you yourself want a dog. If you don't, don't do it.

Your attitude is shocking. Frankly you should never have an animal again!

Give her back to the breeder asap so she can find a family from as young as possible. If you don’t, and you give her up later, you will ruin her life and destroy her trust in people. Dogs don’t forget being abandoned, ever. Be very very careful with the next choice you make. You either commit for life or you give her back now and do not get another pet

This.

But don’t get another. She’s a pup it’ll be fine - don’t let her become a two year old dog with issues OP.

Shame on you! “despite her gorgeousness, we are all a little meh”. You sound truly awful. Poor puppy deserves better! Do the decent thing and get her speyed before she is used as a breeding machine.

Send the puppy back…sooner rather than later.

I fell in love with my male dog the moment I set eyes on him, we have bonded in a way I never expected or anticipated, that dog would literally die for me (and he’s a trained protection dog so should)

My female dog the jury’s still out 🤣 she’s an entire different ball game, and whilst I do love her she’s so much more than I bargained for, and twice as much work, the relationship has been rocky but we have gotten there in the end and still have some off days but she is my husband’s shadow not mine 🤷‍♀️ and a complete and utter different personality to my male.

No 11 week old puppy is trained…but it does deserve to be with people who are more than at but ‘meh’ about it.

And never get another one

Disagree. The allergy issue in ops post comes after the entire family are “meh”. Allergies are a convenient excuse for those who don’t want to take responsibility. And wouldn’t you make sure your children weren’t allergic before getting a dog?
Either way, this dog needs to go back and op needs to never get another animal. I stand by the fact that it is a bad example for her children though.
And actually? “Rescue” dogs very often don’t have the issues that people perceive. All they need is people to give them a chance, but the perception of “rescue” needlessly puts a lot of people off.

The allergy thing can take a while. I knew a family who got a lovely dog from rescue. Toddler took about a week to show the allergy. I guess if the house starts from dander free, it takes a while for the amount to build up to trigger point, also there is a length of time exposure element. The thing with the allergy is that its not just the hair, its not hair and dander, the allergen is in the animal's saliva as well. There is also no such thing as hypoallergenic dog, its just that not all allergic people are allergic to all dogs.

Please give her back. She deserves better, and like you said, it’s not her, it’s you. She needs an owner who knows dogs aren’t accessories you return when you lose interest. 🙄

This. Good to recognise the mistake - now do what is best your your puppy

What are you asking on here?
Give her back to the breeder now! She should not be kept in your family.
The sooner the better!!

I am not slating at all, just pointed out that its is not compulsory to have pets.

She’s going back to the breeder and she’s way too young to be spayed.

oh FFS just pointing out that its not compulsory to have pets.

Despite growing up in a dog-mad (and dog breeding) household, I am at best indifferent to dogs. I would not dream of getting one ever, it would be totally unfair on the dog. I may not like them but I would not want them to suffer from lack of proper love.

They’ve already said they aren’t going to get a dog again.

I disagree on your point on rescues. The dogs in rescues often display more difficult behaviours. Not because they are “bad” dogs but often because of earlier life experiences that have caused them to become anxious, reactive etc. Hopefully with lots of time, care and patience these dogs can have happy lives but it’s not something to be taken lightly. We rescued a puppy, traumatised by irresponsible breeders. We love her but it’s been very hard and expensive, and still a long way to go.

Better to admit you made a mistake now and hand her back rather than wait until she’s 6-8 months, going through the equivalent of the doggy teenage spell.
We’ve got dogs, I’ve never adored them from the off if they were pups, in fact I prefer older dogs to pups (which is why many of. Our dogs have been adult rescues) however we’ve always gone into getting whichever dog with eyes wide open and fully aware of the work involved.
You’re not an awful person, you thought a situation would be better then it is in reality and you are doing the responsible thing by returning her.
Dogs are a tie, they have to be considered in every situation and you have to be fully committed yourself (most kids bin off doggy chores once the novelty has worn off).

I think you and the kids aren't pretty excited by the cute puppy in the first couple of weeks it's probably not going to get much better. I think if the breeder can place with someone else then I would give the puppy back. Frankly I think that is the kindest thing for all involved and I don't know why you're getting such a hard time here.

Send the poor dog back as soon as possible, you are clearly not a dog person.

I’m actually going against the grain and would say you are still in the trenches at 2 weeks in, perhaps give it time? I have two, four month old puppies. Two weeks into ownership and it was the hardest thing I had ever done and one of them I did not bond with. Now (ive had them 2 months), I absolutely adore them, especially the one I didn’t bond with! Give it time OP….

This. A dog is for life. You aren't ready for one and may never be. That's not a bad thing just a fact

This makes me so sad. A dog is such a source of joy and unconditional love. That precious pup deserves a family who absolutely adores her.

I very much doubt this is a good breeder. They're taking the puppy back because it's a family friend. OP won't answer questions about what breed it is.

When you take on an animal you make the commitment to try and provide it with the best life it can possibly have, for the duration of that life, be in 15 to 20 years. You don't ever get one on a whim, without considering the responsibility and commitment.

Please take it back and don't ever get any more animals.