Puppy dilemma - it’s not her, it’s us

[neverwakeasleepingpuppy]

Brought home a gorgeous 2 month puppy two weeks ago; the kids wanted one for years, DP and I are mildly pro-dog, thought it’d be great for us as a family, everyone says they’re great, unconditional love blah blah.

Being fair, she’s a perfect puppy so far - quickly getting the crate and toilet training and is now sleeping through from 11-7am, minimal accidents in the house. Hard work but manageable.

We are the problem - despite her gorgeousness, we are all a little meh. DD2 seems to be allergic; puffy eyes and sneezing. The kids have zero interest - spent maybe 30mins with her since she landed. DP and I are enjoying her somewhat but also my OCD is going through the roof, googling amputees from dog licks etc.

Am interested to hear others views on this as I think it’s a case of it’s not her, it’s us …. the breeder is fine to take her back as she has a waiting list for an adorable puppy who is mostly trained! Just wondering if it’s fairer all around to do this?

Totally agree it’s not to be taken lightly, it’s a responsibility to not let them down again. But in my experience of almost 40 rescue dogs now? I’d say 25% have trotted into my house with zero issues. Happy dogs, shit background, hasn’t affected them. At all. Probably a further 70% have some relatively minor issues. Resource guarding or fear based behaviours or avoidance. All very manageable and totally resolved with time and a bit of effort. End up as “normal” dogs in a year or so, give or take.
The remaining 5%? Massive amount of effort, baby steps, one step forward, two steps back, will probably always need special measures. For me? All totally worth it. But honestly, I would rather these dogs didn’t exist and if irresponsible people stopped buying puppies they hadn’t actually thought about? They wouldn’t. Dogs do not get to choose the life they have. Nor the effect it has on them.

It’s very much a good breeder. A bad one wouldn’t entertain returning a puppy.

Adore her? After TEO WEEKS? She never stood a chance and you definitely didn’t think this through before you got her. She’s had 2 weeks to prove her worth and she’s not passed the test. Absolutely irresponsible on your part. Please stay pet free.

Send her back.
she’s just a dog, another family might be better.

nothing wrong with you. Good for you making the honest decision,

Dogs can/do make you home dirty.

Yeah, I suspect it’s just a mate whose dog (bitch) got knocked up, not a professional breeder. I don’t feel like a real breeder would have sold the puppy to someone who was so clearly not that invested. Normally you have to jump through hoops to prove yourself.

@neverwakeasleepingpuppy you are only human. So many people get a dog or other pet and realise, actually it's not the right thing. But not all of them check that they can go back to the breeder.

People on here have been incredibly mean. The older I get the more I see, humans are not allowed to make mistakes without a barrage of online abuse. Your puppy seems very well cared for. Your breeder sounds perfect. You are a normal human. Parenting is hard - you need to put your family first as the dog will be ok. You're not asking if you should be putting it to sleep! People are dog mad. Don't get me wrong, I love animals, I have pets but if I made a mistake I would hope I wouldn't be demonised in owning up to it. Please give yourself some love. Give your pup a hug. And think about what to do away from all these keyboard warriors.

Also, having a daughter with allergies is no joke.

From one mum to the next - you got this.

Be kind people.

That's the whole point of her question - should the dog go to a more deserving family.

I think the OP is really brave in being honest.

’send her back’ just like that as if she’s an accessory that you don’t like so return it.

Telling someone ‘good for you’ after taking a puppy from its mum, expecting it to be love after 2 weeks is just as irresponsible as the op.

It's a family friend, so yes, they would.

another person here wondering what on earth was going through your head getting a puppy if you were only mildly interested. We waited YEARS til we were settled enough with kids and work to be able to invest the necessary time. Dogs are the most wonderful family gift, but they are like another child that never grows up. You have to be prepared for that.

I agree to hand her back and give her the best chance of a proper caring family who can meet her needs. And I also agree - never get another pet, you clearly aren’t pet people or responsible enough.

we got our pup at almost 11 weeks as our breeder wouldn’t let them go earlier. Your pup will happily settle into a new life.

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Stop with the self righteous people. She made a mistake. Let's support one another.

There’s a difference between rehoming because the owner passed away or was evicted, and calling a well-behaved puppy “meh” after two weeks because the novelty wore off. One’s a genuine hardship, the other’s just an excuse for being a flaky owner.

Most of us are more concerned about supporting an unwanted puppy.

I agree with this. It’s hard to know what you’re getting yourself into until you’re there.

Never ask a question on here about dog ownership/rehoming dogs. You get ripped to shreds. You’d get less vitriol if you had agreed to hand over your unborn baby in exchange for some of next door’s delicious lettuce.

Please don't wait to see if you will start to love your puppy. The breeder has given you an out and you honestly need to take advantage. I got my wee little girlie when she was 8 months old because the previous owner had handed her back. She was sad, unsettled and confused to start off with and it broke my heart. I already had a 10 month old puppy and they became firm friends.

By recognising that the puppy doesn't fit into your life and returning them will mean you are doing the right thing.

First comment nails it. Selfish and irresponsible beyond belief.

Yes, I would think taking her back would be the best solution. You tried, it didn’t work out.
I hope you never tire of one of your kids! 😂

Sorry but you don't understand OCD. I LOVE animals. I'm vegan, and have rescue rats. I'm obsessed with them, but also have OCD, and will sometimes get fixed on googling things like Rat fever bite. I also have cats, and became obsessed with toxoplasmosis whilst pregnant. It doesn't mean I don't love animals. It's part of the disorder.

But yes anyway, re-home the puppy OP if she's not for you.

I know! What about supporting a struggling human who has admitted some mental health issues too. You can support both.

Nicely said. People who don't understand are ignorant and unkind.

Tessissmee,
Hard to know what you’re getting into? Ok, but I hope they never tire of one of their children!

Being ‘mildly pro dog’ isn’t enough. My last couple of dogs have lived till 16/17, you could still have it when you’re kids have grown and left home!
How can you not know your child is allergic to dogs?! Take the dog back to the breeder now the novelty has worn off, while it’s young enough to still be in the cute puppy stage rather than the untrained destructive teen dog stage.
I despair of people, why is so little consideration given to such a massive life changing decision?!

Please give the puppy back as soon as possible best thing for all .If your thinking big mistake already then the forthcoming chewing biting stage then the adolescent stage can made the most dog loving people have moments of what have I done .
Personally I applaud your honesty better to rehome now

I couldn’t agree more.