Puppy dilemma - it’s not her, it’s us

[neverwakeasleepingpuppy]

Brought home a gorgeous 2 month puppy two weeks ago; the kids wanted one for years, DP and I are mildly pro-dog, thought it’d be great for us as a family, everyone says they’re great, unconditional love blah blah.

Being fair, she’s a perfect puppy so far - quickly getting the crate and toilet training and is now sleeping through from 11-7am, minimal accidents in the house. Hard work but manageable.

We are the problem - despite her gorgeousness, we are all a little meh. DD2 seems to be allergic; puffy eyes and sneezing. The kids have zero interest - spent maybe 30mins with her since she landed. DP and I are enjoying her somewhat but also my OCD is going through the roof, googling amputees from dog licks etc.

Am interested to hear others views on this as I think it’s a case of it’s not her, it’s us …. the breeder is fine to take her back as she has a waiting list for an adorable puppy who is mostly trained! Just wondering if it’s fairer all around to do this?

Yes, send her back asap she deserves to be really wanted. Sorry you’ve had to do it though.

You will all have a serious shock to your system when pup hits adolescence (which lasts years) if you think she is trained now, and you are only "midly-pro dog". Return your puppy to the breeder. This is so depressing.

Just to highlight this for anyone with OCD who is reading and might learn from my mistake - this advice is also what my GP said. Which seems true as I’ve seen an improvement in just the two weeks as had to get over the wee, mud, hairs everywhere etc. Still thinking about the extreme cases though.

Yes, return the puppy. Not for you, and that’s ok

Wow.

If your and DP were only ever 'mildly pro-dog', why would you have done this in the first place? You're setting a shite example to your children.

Yes - return the puppy asap to the breeder and give it a chance of a loving home.

Send her back to the breeder. Puppies are very hard work and need lots of time and commitment, everyone needs to be on board bringing a puppy into the family, they should be a joy, not meh!

I have a new puppy that was planned and waited for after the loss of our beloved GSD last year and he's hard work but so worth it but we knew what to expect. Get out now and take yours back to the breeder so she can find a home where she's truly wanted with committed people, this is only going to get worse and it's not fair on the puppy. The longer you wait the harder she'll be to rehome and then her chances of finding her family who will love her and cherish her for life plummet, don't do this to her, take her back to the breeder.

@neverwakeasleepingpuppy

What breed is she?

People tend to fall for how sweet and gorgeous they are when they first meet them but as you spend more time with them you bond and get to know their quirks and just love them on a deeper level. I've had my current dog six years and he is very loving, somewhat needy, thinks he is an absolute joker (actually some of his "jokes" are pretty humourous for a canine), excitable and can be very very well behaved and equally as naughty. I think he is the handsomest there is and am proud to walk him out & about and receive compliments on him. Keeping him groomed, trained, walked, clean and keeping all his bedding/leads and toys in order gives me joy.

Take her back to the breeder tomorrow and give her the chance of a home who love her very, very much.

I adored my dog from the first moment I saw her photo.

I could hardly sleep in the days before the adoption was finalised as I was worried we'd somehow fail the rescue's requirements and she wouldn't be able to come to us. There was no warming up period - I just loved her from the moment she arrived.

After a lifetime of love and enjoying every single aspect of caring for her she died of old age and I miss her still a year later.

Please take this puppy back and let someone else adore her. If you're not keen now then as the winter kicks in and walks get less fun you're going to find her a real chore.

The bottom line is that this beautiful puppy deserves to be 100% adored

If you love your cat you’re probably going to fall madly in love with her at some point

but if you don’t think you will then do give her back

I love my dogs so much even reading this post about a puppy who isn’t loved as much as she needs to be is making me properly well up 😂

I’m glad that your OCD has improved. It won’t be a quick process though and, as you probably know, will likely get much worse with exposure before it gets better. I hope you are getting some proper support with it, not just your GP?

I'm interested in how old the kids are and what breed of dog. I don't accept puppy blues are real . I loved my puppies at 2 weeks, with their eyes not open, chose them then. They are hard work,so are kids.i got ripped to shreds on here last year, for saying exactly what its like having a puppy.

everyone says they’re great, unconditional love blah blah.

You’ve been lied to there, OP! Having a puppy was the most stressful few months of my entire life. Dogs are also a lot of hard work; the daily walks, keeping them well exercised and socialised, can they come on holiday with you, do you have reliable ‘dog care’ for the times you aren’t around, can’t be left alone too long and especially overnight, etc etc. They’re a massive upheaval in anyone’s life and even though my boy is now 10 and a real elderly dog I still find him hard work. The walks in the pouring rain, snow, ice etc. The stress at NYE and Nov 5 as he is an utter wreck around fireworks.

BUT - we adore him. Will we get another after him, no. But we love him to bits. If you’re not enamoured with this pup the kind thing to do is give him to a family who will be.

Yet another poor, innocent puppy cast away by irresponsible people. Awful behaviour.

Yes, and thanks for asking ❤

Don't worry about it. There are a lot of Frothing Dog People on Mumsnet who equate indifference to any dog with being a Bad Person. Yes, even if you don't have a dog.

It’s pretty weird to get a dog without first knowing if you a) have allergies and b) are actually keen to have a dog.

You spelt, "Responsible Dog Owners" wrong.

I have had dogs all my life and I have never adored any of them from the first moment. It has taken a few months for that to kick in. Mainly the first weeks are stressful and overwhelming and full of "what on earth have I done??". Saying that, it is hard to really know what dog-ownership is like before you have done it, and if you find now that you have made a mistake, then it is best to let the puppy move to a new home asap. I would sleep on it and contact the breeder tomorrow if you decide it is the best thing for you all.

@neverwakeasleepingpuppy I got “puppy blues” when I brought home my first puppy. I was a mess for 2 weeks, felt so sad and anxious even though I love dogs and have had them all of my life.

I got over that quickly but it was really scary and worrying at the time.

However, it does sound like you aren’t really a dog lover and that you don’t love your puppy.

My dogs are part of my family and the love I have for them is on par with the love I have for my human child. If you aren’t feeling this kind of love then having a dog really isn't for you and it’s unfair on the pup. I would send her back whilst she’s little and before she gets too attached, to give her the best chance in life to be loved like she deserves

Maybe it’s a warning for others reading this, but there was no indications of any allergy before this and she’s a teen. Many of our friends / family have dogs and DD has been around almost daily, slept over, stayed weekends etc. with no issue. She just started showing a reaction to our puppy on the third full day.

What. Are. You. Going. To. Do???

Hopefully contact the breeder

Oh OP, I think you should return to breeder ASAP and be grateful they will take your puppy back. I have a 15 week old puppy who is the light of my life and has been for the 7 weeks we've had him. We would never have got a dog for the kids because they are notoriously fickle. The dog is for us all (especially me) and that's the way it has to be IMO. Lesson learned - you are not dog people.