12 year old son falsely accused.

[Fran091321]

We are so upset our 12 year old has been accused of getting his penis out during a lesson! No such thing happened. His trousers clasp had come undone which either made the zip go down a little bit or the zip wasnt fully done up beforehand. Someone noticed in class that his trousers had come undone and started laughing and saying your trousers are undone. His shirt was tucked in and you couldn't even see any of his boxesr shorts as his shirt was covering them). Then everyone looked and some kids started saying the most disgusting things, it was a free for all (there was a substitute teacher in the class). He has been called a pedophile along with some other vile statements and had to be put in isolation according to the school "to keep him safe". I'm so upset that the school didn't deal with this firmly from the start. The whole thing has now got so out of hand and now we have year 7s spreading lies to other year groups.

The day the non incident happened my son was hassled by a large group of children at lunchtime, many of whom were not present in the lesson in which his trousers clasp came undone.

I asked the school "If, the isolation was intended to "keep him safe", then why was he left to go out at lunchtime and be hassled by a large group of kids? There was plenty of time for kids to call him all sort of names, including a paedophile and other vile statements that he has asked me to explain to him. This "keeping him safe" reason, doesn't seem to make sense at all!"

The response I got from the Designated Safeguarding Lead was "teachers come to school to teach" the teacher involved is not part of the safeguarding team". Now, I am a teacher (primary), but you don't need to be a teacher to know that safeguarding always has to be the top priority, followed by teaching! I was was astounded at his response.

The school put my son in isolation but the kids who made the false accusation were not (the school have categorically stated that they know the accusation is false). What message does this send to the rest of the year group?

We cannot believe how this is being handled and I need some opinions and help please.

It does sound very unpleasant. I'm sorry for your son. But surely it's a little OTT to say that kids mocking another because their fly was down would 'damage their reputation'.

If he feels unsafe then maybe it's not the best school for him. Bullies are horrible but there is still every chance this will simply blow over.

Nobody really thinks your son is a paedophile. It's an insult which isn't acceptable but it's not the same as genuinely thinking that about someone. The school should crack down on use of such language of course.

He doesn't generally feel unsafe, but he felt extremely intimidated that lunchtime when all those kids were surrounding him and verbally abusing him.

If it was simply a case of kids laughing because his trousers had come undone, that would be a totally different scenario and would be kids having a laugh at something they found funny.

It was the accusations that he was exposing himself and masturbating in class that could affect someone's reputation... schools do have to take these things seriously in case it were true. Calling him a paedophile is also totally out of order, that's probably one of the worst things anyone could ever call somebody! Sexually harmful behaviour is a big issue and schools have to take things seriously. l do think it has the potential to ruin someone's reputation. It now sounds like this isn't the case here, thank god! But kids need to be told that under no circumstances should they ever falsely accuse somebody, especially of behaviour of that nature. The sooner they know that and understand that the better for everyone.

I agree with you that it's not acceptable language. And I hope the school address it across the board.

Can't you find him a better school? Honestly, that one sounds like a dump. He won't learn anything there except how to be as vile as his peers.

I'd be moving heaven an earth to find him a decent school with a competent and professional staff

If it comes to that, then yes we would move him. But we'd like to find out the headteacher's response to this first.

My son really doesn't want to move schools. I know as parents, we sometimes have to make difficult decisions for our children's own good, but we wouldn't move him unless it become apparent that that is the only option.

Today went ok for him, so maybe, just maybe, these kids have actually listened to what the head of behaviour had to say and the fact that they've been sanctioned has sent a message to the rest of the year. This is what I hope anyway! He does have some good friends there too.

I wouldn't move schools. I'd expose the poor leadership. They won't like it!