I think I hate being a Mum :-(

[CompletelyFrazzled]

I don’t work Fridays and I’m dreading the next three days when DC aged five and two will both be at home (apart from school tomorrow for the eldest). The screaming, the mess, the tantrums, the chaos, the constant go-go-go. I can’t even blame an absent DH - he’s here, he’s 50-50, I couldn’t ask for more from him. And yet here I am, praying for Monday morning when I can go back to work and things are calm and peaceful. The irony is, I have quite a stressful job and I still find it easier than being with the kids.

I love my children but honestly I’m wishing the months and years away until they’re both a bit older and life feels a bit calmer.

Tell me I’m not the only person feeling like this :-(

Mine are older now. But I found that age hard and honestly boring. It is more enjoyable as they get older as they can do things on their own which allows me some time. I find I enjoy my time with them more.

I’m at 6 (nearly 7) and 4 (nearly 4 and a half), and it is DEFINITELY easier. They entertain themselves in the mornings now, nobody wears nappies, and from September both of them will be at school. Don’t get me wrong, they are still little and the mess, sibling arguing and chaos does drive me mad at times, but when I compare it to a couple of years ago, things are honestly improving!

Hard relate OP. Same age kids. Both extremely high energy. I enjoy them immensely individually. But together I find it really awful to be honest. They still don’t really play together but somehow manage to bicker none stop. Their wants and needs are very diffident. It feels like someone is always crying or complaining. I feel frazzled and overstimulated by 10am.

Oh and if i tried to bake with them, one hand would spend the whole time catching flying cake mix and the other would be trying to stop the toddler climbing into the oven. I think there is a breed of pre schooler that gets things like crafts and baking and there is also a breed that…well….doesn’t.

Ah OP. It’s so tough. And 5 and 2!! Those are tough ages. It can be so hard. I absolutely detest this idea that we can’t find parenting hard, it’s such a weight off sometimes to sit with someone and go ‘this is fucking awful sometimes isn’t it??’ So please accept this as a virtual hug.

Sounds like your DH is great, so can you get some solo time? Nip off to the gym, grab a wine with a friend. Never feel guilty about doing that. I come back a better woman!!

I also echo others that it does get easier. Day trips out with a 2 year old my gosh, those are the hard days!! I have 7 year old twins and we find life quite nice now, a far cry from the toddler times haha. Don’t get me wrong they still drive me up the wall at times especially with the sibling fighting and the bloody attitudes but getting us all up and out and doing things is so much easier. They’re in clubs now too that are drop off, I know two of the mums and every Saturday we all go for brunch while they’re at the club. I look forward to it all week!!

Hang in there, OP. Some weeks are just really bloody hard.

You're allowed to hate it. It doesn't make you a bad mother, or mean that you don't love your kids to pieces. Being a mum can be extremely tiring, lonely and boring sometimes and you're never unreasonable for speaking on your lived experience. 🩷

You hate the responsibility, demands and lack of freedom, which most if not all of us do! Xxx

This is a modern phenomenon though isn't it? People generally didn't 'do" stuff with their kids that so child oriented. The kids " helped" out with adult stuff. Some of my earliest memories are shelling peas, pairing socks and sorting laundry into whites and colours

The park was an occasional thing but once kids got older they took themselves there

Playgroup was the place for kids to play.

I think when you’re working full time, the gear change with time off is more stark. I was a sahm at this stage and had more time to build calm routine. But as a pp says, it goes so quickly even if it doesn’t feel that way now. Just take the pressure off and be with them. Take them out for walks( take simple picnic) , let them run and play. Get some water out if you have a garden / balcony. Last of all, get them bathed and in bed by 7 so you can have adult time.

I agree that organised activities are more pressure. It’s all Insta driven. Do they do things like build dens with sheets over chairs etc? Can the 5 year old help prepare food?