I think I hate being a Mum :-(

[CompletelyFrazzled]

I don’t work Fridays and I’m dreading the next three days when DC aged five and two will both be at home (apart from school tomorrow for the eldest). The screaming, the mess, the tantrums, the chaos, the constant go-go-go. I can’t even blame an absent DH - he’s here, he’s 50-50, I couldn’t ask for more from him. And yet here I am, praying for Monday morning when I can go back to work and things are calm and peaceful. The irony is, I have quite a stressful job and I still find it easier than being with the kids.

I love my children but honestly I’m wishing the months and years away until they’re both a bit older and life feels a bit calmer.

Tell me I’m not the only person feeling like this :-(

I’ve been mothering small children for 15 years now. I have 5. All about 3 years apart. It’s okay to feel like this. I’ve always hated small world play and the park is my ultimate hell. All my children are doing well, are smart and loving.
Stop beating yourself up. Just because you find parenting mind numbing it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong or failing! You just need to find things you can do together that engage you both. You’re doing your best, cut yourself some slack.

I feel this every day! You are not alone! I feel I'm not cut out for it half the time!

Go easy on yourself 💐💐💞💞

Sounds v similar to my pre-school years routine 🙂

I loved the mayhem of little kids when mine were small, but I was really young having them and think that made a difference. I don’t think I’d love it quite as much now!

they’ll soon grow OP, the days are long but the years are short. I know it seems corny but it’s true.

Tbh, it is pretty shit all round. I dont know who romanticises motherhood. I probably wouldn't have had any had i known how shit the majority of it is. Easier and better now they're older but you worry about everything and everyone for ever. I would probably rather moved to a Thai hut, surfed, eat chicken, drank nice beer, done yoga and meditation and worked in an animal shelter.

It’s ok not to love every phase.
It won’t be like this forever

(or at least that’s what I tell myself and fwiw I think it’s true)

This absolutely this! I was going to say it but they've already said it!

Definitely not OP
I felt excruciating lonely and frustrated when my son was little.
I've learnt to forgive myself but it is such a common experience

Small kids are simultaneously really boring and occupy your every second. It’s awful, I really didn’t enjoy 0-5 either.

Thanks for your honesty.
Sadly for me,it is much worse now grown-up.
Addiction, prison etc etc etc
I've had to tap into higher power to lessen the nightmare

Ah yes solidarity here op.
i spent years at home with my dc, i did overall actually really enjoy it but there were always some days where i must have felt despair at ‘more of the same’.
I know you’ve said you do get them out but I found it useful to have a plan of doing something every day. If nothing else it seemed to make the time pass quicker and if it was out of the house then there was the double bonus of not having mess to clear up at home.
One of my favourites to fall back on was walking out to get picnic things and then go to a park and stay there as long as possible. Boring for adults and yours will be at different ability levels of what they can do in the park too because of their ages. Always helpful if you can rope in a friend too.
Equally make up a job, ‘we must send x a card in the post’ and then make a card, walk to a far away post box and send. If they want to wander down a different road, fine, if they want to walk along the brick wall, fine, if they want to stop and look at some ants, great, it’s all wasting time!
Finally, feel free to ignore all advice, wasn’t sure if you wanted some suggestions or just wanted to vent - either are acceptable!!

I’m in teenage absolute HELL at the moment. I hate being a parent sometimes too.

It can be relentless op.
Then all of a sudden you are just a taxi driver to your teenagers!

I really didn’t enjoy the early years. I am and was a good mother, but I don’t enjoy young children. On the flip side- I LOVE having teens! They clean and tidy, have full interesting conversation, are funny and fun to be around. We can go places we ALL enjoy. You can REASON with teens- in a way that young children just can’t. What I’m saying, in a long way, is that maybe you don’t hate being a mum. Maybe you hate this stage of parenthood. I did.

Many years before I became a mother, I stayed with a mother and her two children. The mother said, "The best thing is my life is my kids." But also, "The best time of day is when the kids are in bed." Both can be true.

Can you up your hours so that you work Fridays too? and maybe drop back down later on when they are older and more pleasant to be around. 2 is a crap age.

Yes, see, it's your fault OP, you're not trying hard enough or doing enough. And I bet you've never thought of any of these things before....🙄😂

I wished for children so much. So much we went through IVF twice. Both times successful. I then struggled so much with the early years.

I had a danger-seeker with my first. Couldn't keep him in the house - he'd jump out his window to play with the neighbours kids. He was also super difficult at every stage.

I then had the perfect second child. Until he turned into a screamer at about 2. He would scream in happiness and in frustration. It almost broke me. I have sensory issues, and, well, yeah.

But I'm here now with two wonderful teenagers and I wish I could have shown myself 10 years ago how it would turn out.

They WILL become people, and people that don't just take from you. I know it's hard. I once threw a plate at both of them as I'd reached the end of my last nerve. I did aim for next to them, but they do remember the time I just lost the plot and threw a plate at them.

Don't be like me.

Solidarity OP and PP too 💖 we’ve got a weekend away coming up this weekend and I’m already wrung out. I find it easier when I don’t have DH in the mix - he’s tagging along to music class tomorrow before we set off for the weekend 🫠 his mindset is ‘well my stuff is sorted so we can go’ erm 😐 we need DD things, house bag (self catering) and car needs to be jengad as he didn’t bother being organised by sourcing a roof box 🤦‍♀️

Sounds riveting NOT

I must say the teen years were definitely the favourite stage for me. They had grown into " proper people" who could have decent conversations and were interesting

It's OK just to put the telly on sometimes.
It's all exhausting, especially with a toddler. You just need to sit on the sofa with a cup of tea while they watch Bluey or similar. You can just nod and say, that's nice or mmm occasionally.
Give yourself a break. Sending 💐

I think you are in a crazy hard time with the dc ages and it is relentless- I suspect once the youngest is 4 life will start easing up

Toddlers are exhausting, especially if you've got a little danger loving daredevil you can't take your eyes off! I agree, get them outside and running around to wear them out as much as possible. I think it helps to spend time with friends with same age children so you can let the kids play in the garden and have a coffee and a chat while you watch them. I used to give mine tea fairly early - 5.30ish then I would stick them both in the bath with lots of toys, bubbles etc and let them play and have fun. Mine were in bed by 7, stories read and lights out! If you get a bit of an evening to wind down yourself and have a bit of peace it makes such a difference! Can you and DH give each other a few hours to yourself at the weekend so you both get a bit of me time?

The op isn't talking about workdays. She's referring to her Friday off + the weekend.

And yes, getting out and about helps.