about receiving crappy gifts?

[streth]

Just had a birthday and the gifts were seriously disappointing. I would have preferred nothing just so I do not have to get rid of them.

The gifts were:

Baking tin set wrapped in Christmas twine in a Christmas gift - I don't bake
A bag with a political slogan which smells strongly of takeaway food like Chinese
A scarf in a crushed box which is not my colour or style
Box of generic fudge from tourist city - the kind where they change the sleeve on the box to the location
Another box of stuffed dates that I received last year also

I don't like any of these and have given most of them to the charity shop already but I guess what hurts is the complete lack of thought. They seem regifted (definitely the Christmas one) which is fine but they didn't have in mind whether I actually like these things. I don't. They know me well enough to know I do not like these kinds of gifts. It is just very disappointing.

YANBU. I asked family to stop doing gifts between us last year and it’s fab, I don’t have to worry about taking a pile of clutter to the charity shop now.

Were these all from different people? You should have kept them and regifted them amongst that same group of people.

OP I understand why you're upset

I know they say it's the thought that counts but that doesn't sound like much thought at all. It sounds like they found something super cheap or had them lying around.

My PIL give me exactly the same gifts every year through a combination of "but you told us that once" (like a brand of socks I like but never in my size, because apparently I would have told them the wrong size) or because that's what good little wives want, vouchers for somewhere they can buy something nice for the house. On occasion I've massively insulted them by saying thanks but no thanks to the offer of a household item that will make my life so much easier (tumble drier). My DH suggests things I would like in the same value but it's the same every year. Meanwhile he gets a cheque to spend on himself.

If they want to piss money down the drain that's on them.

That is a random selection 😁
Next time either firmly say "I don't want gifts" or you go down the Wish List path.
I'm all for recycling/regifting but quite frankly I'd chuck that lot in the bin.
Happy Birthday 🎂

I sympathise OP.

For my birthday last week a good friend of mine gave me a resin plaque with a plastic butterfly on with several paragraphs of calligraphy telling me how extraordinarily special I am.

As she handed me the gift she said "I know you don't like this sort of thing....." but just left that sentence hanging.

I honestly thought saying "I fucking hate this type of crap" would have cut this shit out, but no.

PS I didn't say this about any previous gift she'd given me.

I can't even regift them, that is why I am taking them straight to the charity shop. I couldn't inflict them on friends and family.

I suppose it depends who gave them to you.

Family - not great choices.

friends- time to stop exchanging gifts as a habit/expectation. With COL I bet alot of people would be glad to stop random gift giving tbh!

Who is buying you all this shit?

Who gave them to you and what did you say?

They awful op. We cut out birthdays friends just a card. Saves getting load crap given to you too. Happy Birthd. God they crappy gifts!

@Isittimeformynapyet "I fucking hate this type of crap" - I actually said this once I opened it because some of the crappy gifts arrived by post.

It cost more to post them than the actual cost of the gifts!!

Surprisingly good friends who I get on with and like.

I would have saved them and regifted each of them what they give me, but I might be petty, still like my friends but they can have their shit back. 🤭 next time it’s their birthdays just give them random shit you find around the house to match their energy.

Jeez there is bad and then there is bad. Blimey I'd be miffed too. I'm very conscious of people buying things that aren't me so I always ask for things I definitely will use like fluffy bed socks and running socks. I always get through them throughout the year. I'm always told its boring and not a gift. However it's not something I'd normally buy myself and its what I want. I will also say they don't have to give me anything but their time.

Yanbu. I don't see the point of giving someone a thoughtless gift.

You’ll get people along who’ll say be greatful I get nothing or it’s the thought that counts . Well no , women work bloody hard and deserve to have care and thought put into gifts . It’s a way to show love and care and it’s not about the amount of money spend . You’re selection of gifts are truly awful , like someone’s gone around the pound store or as you say regifting . I’d take back control and say let’s not exchange gifts and I’d buy myself something lovely and appropriate on my birthday .

I too would have no problem regifting them this crap to the same people who gave it . I think I would love to basically say to them have your rubbish back !!
they don’t seem to be embarrassed about it so why should you . If you don’t do or say something this will continue every time .

@streth urgh! I feel your pain! The older I’ve gotten, the more ‘it’s the thought that counts’ saying really resonates with me. Hence I spend an age thinking of what presents to get or listen to what they’re recently told me they’ve taken a fancy to. In return, much like yourself I get an eclectic mix of low quality stuff like one of those tiny glazed porcelain hands to hold rings and bangles (never wear jewellery), a duo,box of some generic glitter nail polish (don’t wear it, but if I did or they thought I did, I clearly don’t go in for something that looks like it belongs in a child’s play kit!). Other times a random huge box of maltesers as a house warming gift. Honestly it was very clear that mugging here just got the recycled tat probably from maybe their kids unwanted gifts!

My ex’ daughter was the worst, she’d get me things like a scarf with no tag and the inside care label raggedly cut out, a pair of fluffy socks from Primark with the ‘reduced’ sticker half torn off. I can laugh about it now but I dreaded Xmas as I felt almost bullied with these awful gifts. I never said anything amd my ex would just pretend he didn’t see and I’d send her a thank you text. One year she’d sellotaped a tiny bell to the outside of the parcel and my ex made such a massive thing of me noticing it lol as though it made up somehow for the invariably passive aggressive present it was about to reveal 😅

I have noticed some people do not want to follow the wishlist because it means they cannot regift.

That's just silly and they're being total cheapskates.
It's means one unwanted gift going round and round from person to person because no one actually wants it. It's almost a hilarious joke in some weird way.

I'd certainly be buying your friends similar crap presents!

My worst gift was a monoslipper from MIL.

I had lovely PIL but bloody awful gifts, and I am truly very easy to buy for. One Christmas gift was so bad I binned it on getting home as I felt I couldn't inflict the item back on the world! Can't say what as it might be recognised!

I'm intrigued as to what it was!

If your group of friends are in the habit of giving gifts at birthdays then start a trend by suggesting getting a voucher between the lot of you. We used to do that (group of six women), each contribute £20 for some sort of treatment by a beautician we all liked. Or a shop you know the person likes. Or decide not to give gifts at all.