about receiving crappy gifts?

[streth]

Just had a birthday and the gifts were seriously disappointing. I would have preferred nothing just so I do not have to get rid of them.

The gifts were:

Baking tin set wrapped in Christmas twine in a Christmas gift - I don't bake
A bag with a political slogan which smells strongly of takeaway food like Chinese
A scarf in a crushed box which is not my colour or style
Box of generic fudge from tourist city - the kind where they change the sleeve on the box to the location
Another box of stuffed dates that I received last year also

I don't like any of these and have given most of them to the charity shop already but I guess what hurts is the complete lack of thought. They seem regifted (definitely the Christmas one) which is fine but they didn't have in mind whether I actually like these things. I don't. They know me well enough to know I do not like these kinds of gifts. It is just very disappointing.

great idea

A group of friend and i Still do cards, flowers and lunch but we each save the money we would spend on them and buy ourselves a gift that way we all get what we want and we don't have to scratch our heads wondering what to buy each other.

I think people need to understand that giving presents isn’t needed. Why waste money, time and effort?

When I left my job, I was given a £70 on a One4All card as part of the leaving gift. The shops that use them sold nothing I wanted or suitable. I found a couple of things on Amazon which was £70. My parents suggested that to use the gift card on stuff that I would have bought with £70 of my money. Used it at The Range where I spent £30 on toiletries and laundry stuff, £30 on new pillows and £10 on plastic storage for food.

I was given a flight bag by my PIL. I can't afford to go on holiday at all, and haven't been abroad for more than 15 years.
I'm not sure what happened this year because they're usually very generous. I was speechless as MIL told me all about how it would fit under the seat in front of you on the plane. Maybe they had intended to also get us a holiday and forgot? 😂

It depends who they're off.

That gift would have made me 🤢 😂

I think this is a great idea but people want to regift so don't want to be restricted in anyway. That would cost money unless going for the option of no gifts and some people do not want to spend anything or regift the tat they do not like.

I find receiving gifts stressful. My house is small, I don't want more things to clean and tidy away, I have everything I want and need. I have gently and firmly asked family for years not to buy or get me anything for birthdays, but I am always accused of being a killjoy. Whenever I suggest doing something instead to create a memory (coffee, meal, walk) people roll their eyes. It actually caused a huge argument between myself and a close family member this year. I really do wish people would bloomin' listen!

This is the kind of insensitive thoughtless gift that is just horrible.

I know the feeling. It is almost like they are buying you gifts to fulfil some need in themselves rather than respecting your wishes.

I'd rather receive a small bunch of flowers (a fiver from the supermarket) than crap gifts!

Vouchers are tricky because people get embarrassed about giving too little - as if a cheap crap present could be worth anything but they like to pretend.

I feel the same. Our house is cluttered as DH is a bit of a hoarder and I can't stand having more shit in the house. I'd rather a nice meal out with people at most.

A few years back for a 'Big Birthday' I got railroaded into hosting a big party by extended family who said 'everyone expects it' and even though I said 'please no gifts' on the invite people wanted to gift something. Which is kind, but now it just means I have a ridiculous amount of stuff I don't like, won't wear and will never use hanging around.

And I said before- with the COL crisis right now, I am sure some people feel pressured to gift, even though they can't really afford it. I know I do - had a birthday last weekend and the group dynamics are everyone buys a gift as well as go out for a boozy lunch. I am strained right now financially and one of our friends is on UC and really struggling and I felt really bad for her when she came up with what was clearly a charity shop piece of crockery and was clearly mortified about it.

@GetOffTheCounter I think people do feel pressured to gift but giving regifted crap helps nobody. Even a bar of chocolate would be better than that.

Wow that’s appalling. Verging on pointedly bad. After the year I was given olive oil in a Dior gift-bag, complete with tissue (they only had the bag because I got them Dior perfume) I just started telling people I like book tokens. I do. Easy.

They used the gift bag from the perfume you gave them for olive oil???

I hope it was decent olive oil.

That reminds me. I have been given out of date food products many times. It takes one second to check!

TK Maxx finest 😂

I didn't get a single gift for my birthday. Somebody remembering in any way would have been lovely. Be grateful YABU.

They know me well enough to know I do not like these kinds of gifts. It is just very disappointing.

Are you sure?

I voted YABU because maybe your gift givers don't know your taste as well as you think they do and they are buying things they think you might like.

Have you ever told them what sort of thing you prefer? What do you prefer?

Don’t be ridiculous. Just because you got nothing doesn’t mean others should be grateful for a pile of awful gifts . It’s not a race to the bottom

So they’re happily taking your thoughtful presents and giving you shit in return?

I’d say you’re not doing any presents anymore. They know they gave you shit gifts so won’t complain.

You would rather get a bag with a political slogan that smells of a Chinese takeaway? It showed somebody thought about you?

I have given thoughtful gifts yes. I think it was laziness and thoughtlessness just to grab something they have been given they did not want and regift.

To be fair, they don't always get it wrong. Just this year is really bad.

Do your friends tell you that they just want to regift?

If so why would you expect anything other than the sort of things you were given? And secondly if this is their way - why are you bothering at all? Why are you putting effort into buying nice things for them?

If you want to change this you either have to suggest that as a group you all go for a meal or drink or theatre or cinema etc - ie spend time together to celebrate. Or vouchers. If you say nothing, nothing will change

No they do not tell me they want to regift. People don't usually say say here is a regift because I didn't want it.

I haven't told someone I have given them a regifted gift but I do try and make sure I am confident they like it otherwise I will give to the charity shop.

I don't think it is unreasonable not to be happy with a bag that smells of Chinese takeaway food.

I have made an effort because I like to and they have got me lovely gifts in the past.