To be mad at DH for ‘forgetting’ he ‘borrowed’ our DC’s birthday money

[SamieK]

Our DC turned 2 recently and received money from two relatives - I kept this behind one of the cards on our mantle piece.

When I took the cards down, I noticed the cash looked ‘sparse’ so counted it and it was £40 short of the total which had been gifted.

I asked DH if he’d seen it and he initially said no. After bringing it up again that evening he suddenly remembered he had taken it to spend at the pub (with a mate) and had intended to replenish it but ‘forgot’.

Now my DH never withdraws cash and always uses his card - so I called BS on this but he stands by the story.

Do you think this is plausible or do you understand why I’m sceptical?

Are you struggling for money?

What do you think is the alternative? You know your dh, we do not?

To me he sounds greedy and thought he would have a free night out on the money relatives gave your son.

Not Impressive.

Maybe your husband or it may be absolutely anyone else who has access to your home.

Now you know to open a savings account for your DS so any time he gets money as a gift, put the money in your purse and transfer money from your account to his savings account.

YANBU. Was he going somewhere that doesn’t take card? A takeaway near me and one of the smaller pubs only take cash, which is ridiculous in this day and age I know.

If so, I would give him the benefit of the doubt THIS TIME if he hadn’t taken money before, but I’d also be marching him down to the cash machine or transferring the money to you so you can get it back for your son.

if he refused I’d be having serious talks about the relationship

Of course it’s possible he just took the money hoping it would be ok if he spent it and you wouldn’t notice. In that case I’d still be marching him down to the cash machine to get it back and letting him know if it happens again you guys will need to talk about the relationship.

Are you going to put it in an account for your DC, if so just get him to add the missing amount to that. How long ago was the money put there? If a while ago I could believe he borrowed and forgot to put back. Tell him to leave an IOU next time (if there is one) so you don't suspect visitor's of theft. If you don't trust him that's a problem.

Her husband admitted he took it

So he stopped by a cash machine the next day and gave the £40 back, right?

I wouldn't be impressed by his neglecting to replenish the sum he took or initially denying it when questioned. But in terms of this,

Now my DH never withdraws cash and always uses his card - so I called BS on this but he stands by the story.
Do you think this is plausible or do you understand why I’m sceptical?

What is it you suspect him of doing with the money?

Sorry OP, I don't understand. You're sceptical that he took it? What other explanation is there?

She thinks he stole it and that he didn't think she would notice if he only took a bit of it.

This, essentially!

But if he only ever uses his card, what good would physical cash be to him?

Unless you've managed to check his account and seen that he deposited it into his account? Seems a bit of a faff but you never know.

Oh I see. That had not occurred to me - which I guess says something about your lack of trust towards your DH....

Because cash still CAN be used, even if you usually use your card. Thieves aren’t fussy lol.

Stealing it! That’s OPs point, that he doesn’t use cash only his card!

Yes, I am aware of what she's suggesting.

OP, only you can decide whether the husband (you think) you know is capable of acts of deliberate theft. From a small child, no less.

That’s all there is to it! Your Q and emoji suggests you’re unclear.

Does he possibly drink more than you know and is struggling to afford it?

Good for weed or a bit of sniff, though.

What a scumbag. Stealing from a child.

Well, that was sort of what I wondered if she was suggesting - that he needed physical cash for the types of thing that you usually can't buy with a card.

He's a thief who thought you wouldn't notice he stole just some of your kid's birthday money.

I'd put my money on he was buying drugs.

WTF.

The beak man doesn't take card ;)

Was any of the money from his family? If so, I’d tell them. Especially if it’s from his parents. I’d thank them again for it, but say that in future can they transfer it straight to the child’s bank account because your child’s father has taken it.