To be mad at DH for ‘forgetting’ he ‘borrowed’ our DC’s birthday money

[SamieK]

Our DC turned 2 recently and received money from two relatives - I kept this behind one of the cards on our mantle piece.

When I took the cards down, I noticed the cash looked ‘sparse’ so counted it and it was £40 short of the total which had been gifted.

I asked DH if he’d seen it and he initially said no. After bringing it up again that evening he suddenly remembered he had taken it to spend at the pub (with a mate) and had intended to replenish it but ‘forgot’.

Now my DH never withdraws cash and always uses his card - so I called BS on this but he stands by the story.

Do you think this is plausible or do you understand why I’m sceptical?

It’s £40 and he wouldn’t have replaced it because the first time he was asked he denied taking it.

Why would he do this OP? £40 sounds a lot to spend in the pub with a mate, that’s 6 pints. Is that normal?

Are you in a tight budget and with a joint account and he didn’t want you to see pub expenditure?

Or was it end of the month and his bank account was empty?

Did he want cash for weed?

Are you always so suspicious of anonymous posts?

Just because he's the husband and not the wife doesn't mean there's nefarious intent.

If OP thinks her husband stole it, then fine. Clearly he's a shit husband and shit father. From what she's posted, I don't think there is any reason why he wouldn't have replaced it, unless she also thinks he thinks she's an idiot who wouldn't have noticed the cash was missing.

And £40 for a night out is fine.

I really have outgrown this site I think.

£40 doesn’t go far where I’m from! That would only buy 2 rounds of drinks and the taxi back home. And I’m not in a capital city.

I’d have no problem with him borrowing the money- I’ve done that before (usually snack money for school or the school fair and paid it back). What I’d be sceptical about is him “forgetting” he’d borrowed it.

We never have cash and when we need it unexpectedly we raid ds moneybox. It gets transfered to his account though.

DH was going somewhere he could use his card, why would he also need cash? What a bastard!

In all honesty...and not to sound like a mumsnet trope but...

Could it have been for coke?

The initial denial coupled with the illogical reason for taking it (going somewhere he can use his card) suggests that he just pocketed it and didnt intend to put it back.

As a father I have to say "your being unreasonable" but only because I cannot fathom taking money from my child, over the years to pay my mortgage off early (now done) I have literally lived off noodles for years to pay the mortgage off early (I mean drastic measures) but if the children ever asked for money I'd honestly not eat any tea for the last week of the month just so I could give them money so for a father to take off his own child to me that's to much.

Coke is hugely addictive and if he never withdraws or uses cash I’d be reluctant to think that’s what it was for.

I’ve done that but given it back. Sometimes it’s better to go to the pub with cash as it’s so easy to overspend with contactless.

Wine or cocktails yes, pints unlikely.

Guess it depends what his mates are drinking. A pint here is about £4-5.

I opened a child’s premium bond account for any money my daughter gets. Once it’s in it’s not quick to get it back out, I think 3 or 4 days. So it can’t be lifted on a whim. All the little bits of birthday or Christmas money soon add up. May be a safe place to start putting theirs.

He definitely went to the pub. I know who he went with and if he was doing anything dodgy he wouldn’t have said he went out with him as it could be easily checked.

Oh yeah, I was assuming a round is just for two people haha, billy no mates here!