Childminder not there at drop off

[Rockchick76]

Hi
My best friend uses a childminder 4 days a week for her 2 year old DD. Whilst I preferred a nursery for my 2 I get that it works for her. Anyway she called me yesterday upset because she turned up to drop off her DD and the childminder had left to walk 3 children to the nearby school and only the childminder's partner was at home. It's the same dropoff time every day, on her way to work, and she'd had no heads up from the childminder that she wouldn't be at home at the usual DD drop-off time. Childminder's partner reassured her that he is DBS cleared and that childminder would be back really soon, so she reluctantly left her DD with him as she had an important meeting to get to, but she said she felt really upset. I'm wondering if it's even legal for that to have happened? Obviously DD was fine but unless childminder's partner is officially employed as her assistant (which he isn't, he's a handyman, has his own business apparently) then surely he shouldn't have offered to take my friend's DD? My friend is really questioning her judgement and thinking should she have waited and missed the meeting. I'm wondering about the legalities of it and want to help advise her, can any of you help? thanks in advance

I don’t know about the legalities but personally I would have missed / been late to the meeting. Obviously what’s done is done and you can’t take it back but I would have called the childminder and seen which school she walked to and walked my DD there and left her with childminder. Totally unprofessional for her to have made arrangements and then left too.

I withdrew my baby from a childminder for this reason after the childminder wasn't there at pick up. She stated her husband was registered as her assistant, but someone who would not tell me that my baby would be left with a third party is not someone I could trust. I found a nursery instead.

I wouldn't have left my child there.

I could claim to be the Pope - it doesn't mean I am. Same things applies to the childminder's partner. Just because he says he has a DBS doesn't mean he does.

I don't know about the legality side of it, but in terms of parenting I think she made the wrong call.

And I would would find a new childminder (and tbh I'd be wondering how often my child had been left alone with this man when the childminder should have been doing her job). Although I apprecaite that is easier said than done!

I wouldn’t have left my child in that situation, especially as there was no prior heads up from the childminder herself.

But I appreciate people don’t always think straight in the moment and that she may have panicked because of the time constraints and made a risky call.

A really foolish thing for her partner to agree to as well, tbh.

Your poor friend I bet she felt sick all day. What did the childminder say at pick up?

Was your friend running late? Regardless I wouldn't be happy leaving the kid with the husband. Either way she needs to talk to the childminder to establish what happened and then go from there.

When my sister enrolled her child( not sure if right word ) with their childminder she was told that occasionally husband or even cm’s adult child ( all DBS checked ) would be left with them briefly,most likely in an emergency but could happen ,
but I do think your friend should have been informed of this to make sure she was agreeable .
But as is normal with these situations if she’s not happy she’s going to have find alternative arrangements if childminder can’t promise that it won’t happen again .

It’s a bit weird to say she had no time and had to leave her baby but then took 3 random kids to school instead.

Personally I wouldn’t be happy with this and would look for a new childminder, agreeing to a husband and wife due is one thing but to have it sprung on you like this isn’t cool.

She just said how great her partner is with kids apparently. I'm not sure that would have reassured me!

Your friend couldn't have been that worried she left the child anyway. The husband will need to be checked he was probably right was your friend late seems odd that the CM had to do school run despite the friend being there everu day

What is your point that child minders are irresponsible ?

It’s not the handover routine I’d want , and sounds like she’s over stretched

all depends on how happy my kid was and quality of care generally if I’d stay or go

assuming the man was a stranger both child and parent had not met previously ??

Yep, I expect the ‘important meeting’ was anything but also! Child comes first

I imagine it was true and he was DBS checked and her daughter was fine. I don't know the requirements for childminders now but I'd be also questioning if he was first aid trained or had done any safeguarding training? However the fact that mum wasn't told makes me question what other things she hasn't said about. To me entrusting our children with other adults is a contract that they'll do everything they can to keep them safe, that they care about their wellbeing and speak up over concerning things. I wouldn't be leaving my child there again.

I don't really get why you or her are asking RE legalities umless youre looking to sue or report.

Legal or not, your friend was uncomfortable woth the service provided and she either needs to have a conversation with the childminder about mutual expectations or she can find another provider.

Would it actually make her feel better just because it might be legal?

The fact she didn’t understand this was inappropriate and unprofessional would be an even bigger red flag to me.

As I say, I wouldn’t have left her there with a man I didn’t know anyway but in the absence of an apology / acknowledgement it was unprofessional and inappropriate, I’d be looking for a new setting.

Lots of childminders have their partners and/or adult children registered alongside them. A childminder at our school has her husband registered purely so he can sit in the van with some children and they can then cover picking up from 2 schools. Your friend should have been made aware of this though. She really should have asked more questions from the beginning. Would her child usually be taken along on the school run in a pushchair perhaps, or has the husband been caring for her whilst the childminder does the school run every day?

Did your friend not meet the whole family before signing up with her for childcare? I always assumed you would meet and talk to everyone your child was going to be around in that setting before agreeing.

The childminder should have cleared it with your friend first.

This 100%
All these apart if it’s the agreed drop off time it’s very unprofessional of childminder. If it’s the emergency she needed to contact your friend at least. That would make me question how many other things are going not as should especially considering that child is so small and can’t complain and the husband is self employed so can be used like this a lot.

Well I’m sure this has been pointed out but actually he will have had to, every adult living on a premises used for childcare has to before it gets cleared by Ofsted to operate.

My old neighbour was a CM and this was a regular occurrence. She would drop off and pick up from schools morning lunch and night. Her car was out more times then it was in. Her DH and her so called assistant then would look after the children. The issue was she had over 10 other children at the house being looked after by 2 others and lots of screaming from the children. She was supposedly an outstanding child minder but if the parents knew how often she wasn’t there they would have thought different. The ratio,with babies too, was well off.

Not sure why this wouldn’t be legal as what law would actually be broken?

Yes rhe childminder should have communicated this but at the end of the day she did leave her child willingly and knowingly with this person - in the same way you leave your kid with a babysitter - it’s your choice. (This isn’t to negate what childminders do and their profession it’s to draw a similar comparison abiut leaving a child).

Is this a certified child minder or someone who just looks after kids? I would ask to see all documentation and a heads up going forward.

My point was more that just because he says he has a DBS doesn't mean he's not dodgy and the woman should have left her child with him. I just phrased it wrong 😀

I have nothing against childminders at all - my mum was one! I think different children benefit from different environments. However, my nextdoor neighbour is a childminder and it has really, really put me off (and I'm actually wondering if they're the same person).

My NDN is a childminder and her DH is a self-employed builder/carpenter. I WFH on Mondays and Fridays and all I hear all day long is non-stop screaming from the house, and the TV is on every single time I go outside (it's very visible from the front window). The children there are also frequently left while she heads out to other places (Tesco shop, GP appointment, school pick-up/drop-off) and I assume (hope) that she's left the children with her DH (rather than alone).

She's a lovely person but very much a "gentle parent" which seems lovely but means she has absolutely no control over several children and it's a nightmare when I overhear attempts to try and get a child to share, not hit, get in the car, etc. And her DH is simply not a person I would want near my DCs tbh.

It's obviously not acceptable for a childminder to leave at drop-off time. I'd be withdrawing my child - I couldn't trust this person. If it were "childminder has urgently been taken to hospital, I know it's not ideal but I'm around today to watch your child so you don't miss your meeting" then that's different - pre-planned, pre-actioned, thought-out decisions to not comply with rules and basic safeguarding would worry me.

I wouldn’t have left the child out of principle. I would have said to the husband ‘I’ll wait in the car until Sarah is back’.

She’s taken on too many children. She can’t be in two places at once. She can’t do a school run AND care for your child.

This is why I wasn’t keen on a child minder setting. Anyone could be in and out and you’ve got no idea.

I mean the same could be said for the childminder though?