Childminder not there at drop off

[Rockchick76]

Hi
My best friend uses a childminder 4 days a week for her 2 year old DD. Whilst I preferred a nursery for my 2 I get that it works for her. Anyway she called me yesterday upset because she turned up to drop off her DD and the childminder had left to walk 3 children to the nearby school and only the childminder's partner was at home. It's the same dropoff time every day, on her way to work, and she'd had no heads up from the childminder that she wouldn't be at home at the usual DD drop-off time. Childminder's partner reassured her that he is DBS cleared and that childminder would be back really soon, so she reluctantly left her DD with him as she had an important meeting to get to, but she said she felt really upset. I'm wondering if it's even legal for that to have happened? Obviously DD was fine but unless childminder's partner is officially employed as her assistant (which he isn't, he's a handyman, has his own business apparently) then surely he shouldn't have offered to take my friend's DD? My friend is really questioning her judgement and thinking should she have waited and missed the meeting. I'm wondering about the legalities of it and want to help advise her, can any of you help? thanks in advance

He will have been DBS checked as he lives with her. She should have been told that this could happen but tbh I wouldn’t be that worried about it. Not sure why she was fretting all day. What did she think could happen? Fairly extensive checks are completed on people who live with childminders.

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/people-connected-with-ofsted-registered-childcare

And this is why I would never use a childminder. Absolutely no one to monitor what really goes on. How would a parent know if a child wanders into the bedrooms, the CM kids have friends over, CM has a friend of hers over, etc. what does a piece of paper really prove?

at a nursery there are so many eyes and ears and something like this wouldn’t happen. An unauthorised person in the building wouldn’t be in contact with the kids.

A CM setting is your child in someone else’s home- where anything like this can happen and no one knows any better.

Mmm I am wondering the same was your friend actually late or is repeatedly late making the childminder late for the school run. When I was a childminder I had a family who was always late and did not care I had a school run to do. After quite a few chats about it and why it was important to turn up on time . when she was late again I just left for my school run . She was not happy and expected me to turn round and come back ( I did not) she rant at me when I got home about how she was late for work,who did I think I was, she was my boss etc etc and then was really surprised when I gave her notice .

A childminder with an assistant (approved by Ofsted) who has first aid can leave the assistant with children (up to the ratio of 1 adult) for up to 2 hours. They do not need your permission to do so anymore than you have day over temporary nursery staff. The parent should have beenade aware that the childminder has an assistant. Assistants are often family members registered as volunteers to make life easier if they are home. They often have other jobs. Ofsted will inspect them.
I'm confused how a childminder only does a one off school run for 3 children? Are you sure your friend wasn't early or late because of her meeting? It sounds more like your friend arrived at the wrong time childminders can't wait for late arrivals similarly parents can turn up early.

Many parents forget what forms they signed months ago you don't need desperate permission for each and every event just an initial one usually done on signing contracts.

Why would the childminder need to go on the school run early one day? Schools usually open at the same time every day.

Sounds like your friend was running late if she was in such a rush to get to her meeting too.
I'd assume the husband was just trying to be kind/helpful.

DBS doesn’t even really mean anything (I have one) - it just means nothing is on record. I would have felt really dodgy about that scenario too and tbh the in-home, too-personal, too-casual aspect is why I always chose nurseries for my kids.

This - not a chance I’d have left my DC & I’d be looking for alternative childcare asap.

So your friend left her 2 year old at a familiar house with a STRANGER? What is the world coming to.

If the local school caretaker offers to babysit on bank holidays would your friend agree?

Obviously I’m being sarcastic but come on surely this is common sense and your friend needs the head wobble, it’s her precious dc we are talking about!

Well you could choose to view it like that or you could see it that a childminder provides a family like environment with children of mixed ages in smaller groups. Worked significantly better for my SEN child. Every adult living in the home has to undergo extensive checks. And the childminder should not leave the child alone with an unchecked visitor at any point. There have been plenty of cases where children have been abused and even killed in nursery settings so there’s no guarantee of safety in a nursery setting either. In fact I can think of many more cases where this has happened than childminder cases. There are no guarantees of safety in any setting, if you want that you should keep your child at home (although there are actually no guarantees their either - accidents can occur anywhere and most children are abused by people they and the family know.

This childminder does a school run is hardly headline news.

I wouldn't have left my 2 year old with a man I don't know. Time for your friend to look into nursery.

No if he’s not a registered assistant he shouldn’t be doing the childcare. I was a childminder and it’s very clear guildlines that children need to be in sight/hearing at all times. I would be concerned about the childminder’s professionalism.

No way would I put a meeting before my child. No way.

Do you think women can’t have important meetings? There’s a meeting today to decide if we accept an offer to provide a service for £10m, and the leaders are all women. If one of them can’t attend, the meeting needs to be postponed. As we have a hard deadline, it’s important that everyone attend.

I really can’t understand how you could be so sexist. Why are you criticising OP for working instead of the childminder who fucked up?

My question is
Is she a single parent ? I would have expected DH to do the drop on a morning when I had a very important meeting.

Thank you for all the replies. Yes my friend is a single parent, her ex lives about an hour away. She was dropping off at the usual time. She's a really nervous kind of chick who constantly doubts herself (even tho she is amazing) so she said to me that she felt a bit silly/OTT just standing around in the driveway when CM's DH seemed really relaxed about taking her daughter off her hands, so she just sucked it up but was kicking herself about it all day. She had a chat with the CM when she picked up her daughter, CM was very flippant apparently, saying her DH is listed as her assistant in the paperwork and she was doing the school run as a one-off (twin girls and younger brother). My friend's issue is whilst CM's DH has been around at drop-off before, to say 'hi' to, they've never been formally introduced, and she feels CM should have given her a heads up that she wasn't going to be there at drop-off. She has asked to be notified if this is going to happen again, CM said she'll do her best but having to notify 4 or 5 parents when she gets landed with a last-minute school run is a big ask. She sounds like a bit of a bitch to me!! My friend uses her as her rates are significantly lower than any of the nurseries around here, I know if she could afford it she'd be sending her DD to nursery. I've told her she needs to be firmer about being notified so she can make alternative arrangements if she feels uncomfortable. She's also going to talk to her ex about maintenance payments, they have an ok relationship, if he can stump up a bit more ££ she can re-look at nurseries. I will help her as much as i can and all the advice so far has been great, thank you.

So look on the childminders registration on Ofsted site, her assistants will be listed. If he's an assistant it is no different to any nursery staff she will never meet. Her paperwork should include the assistant.
She probably thinks it's because he's a HE and your friend is objecting.

DBs for childminders are only relevent for the day just like everyone else, but if anyone living at the address has police involvment it's flagged as a childcare address and Ofsted is automatically notified. I've even had them notify me to ask if I was okay after I'd witnessed an attempted child abduction

Poor communication by the childminder then but if he's officially her assistant then it's all above board.

Your friend now knows that on occasion the CM will leave children with her assistant for short periods - she doesn't need to be informed every time.

If she sends her child to a nursery she won't meet half the people caring for her child.

I think the childminder had her priorities wrong. She presumably has arrangements to have children at Sry times so shouldn't just be landed with an extra school run. If she is asked but can't manage due to her commitments she should be saying no to extra duties.

I have withdrawn my child from a childminder before after collecting my child and discovering childminder had gone out and left my child with an elderly relative who wasn't physically fit enough to be able to respond in an emergency.

I don't think it's uncommon for childminders to leave children with their partners, but they normally tell people they'll be doing this before they start. It's only fair to let clients decide in advance if they are happy with this or not.

Is it really necessary to refer to women as chicks and bitches?

All a DBS means is that the person who has it hasn't been caught. It does not guarantee they are not a child molester.

True but by that logic you could say the same for the childminder.