Childminder not there at drop off

[Rockchick76]

Hi
My best friend uses a childminder 4 days a week for her 2 year old DD. Whilst I preferred a nursery for my 2 I get that it works for her. Anyway she called me yesterday upset because she turned up to drop off her DD and the childminder had left to walk 3 children to the nearby school and only the childminder's partner was at home. It's the same dropoff time every day, on her way to work, and she'd had no heads up from the childminder that she wouldn't be at home at the usual DD drop-off time. Childminder's partner reassured her that he is DBS cleared and that childminder would be back really soon, so she reluctantly left her DD with him as she had an important meeting to get to, but she said she felt really upset. I'm wondering if it's even legal for that to have happened? Obviously DD was fine but unless childminder's partner is officially employed as her assistant (which he isn't, he's a handyman, has his own business apparently) then surely he shouldn't have offered to take my friend's DD? My friend is really questioning her judgement and thinking should she have waited and missed the meeting. I'm wondering about the legalities of it and want to help advise her, can any of you help? thanks in advance

Well this one didn't as it's on her contract, as per Ops update, which proves my point.

So your issues is men? Vanessa George was a long time ago unfortunately the safety in numbers and whistleblowing didn't save the poor baby who was strapped to a bean bag in front of other female staff members around a year ago. You could argue that a 17 year old apprentice is more worried about speaking out but there were other mature women watching the abuse.
For a childminder loss of the job typically means loss of a home and their own children being removed during investigations so they are far more invested in safety ontop of their attachment to the children mine still visit with their own children and I've minded mindees children my friends are similar.

Does it say she hadn't met him?

I would have been really cross - very unsettling for the child to be there without familiar faces - I wouldn't necessarily be concerned for the child's safety. Why wasn't the CM there? Was your friend running late? If so; fair enough, school age children need to be at school on time. (Although this is one reason I wouldn't want a childminder, not much flexibility). If she wasn't late then why wasn't the CM there? School suddenly started earlier? Not your fault.

That wasn't the update. The childminder claimed it was in the contract we don't know if the client confirmed and checked. I have experienced a childminder tell me an assistant was registered when they weren't.

So why didn't you look at their Ofsted report where it shows assistants etc?

This was the arrangement my childminder had in place too. Her DH was a policeman, worked shifts, so was often around doing pick ups etc.

We were aware of the arrangement. DC’s knew him as well as her.

There is no issue leaving DC’s was a male though.

It says in the post the cm did a one off run.
Flexibility....not all CMS do school runs but can you be late to school? Many are open later so able to be flexible in different ways including sitting with children in the middle of the night while family are rushed to hospital, or dealing with weekend emergencies, I've postponed leaving for a holiday in a genuine emergency. If you mean felixible because they look after other children you need a nanny, or to pay 3 times the price so they do not need to care for others to pay the mortgage.

I did

You are woefully ill-informed about perpetrators of childhood sexual abuse and you misrepresent what the OP has said in every post.

Ive hit a nerve. If the CM needed to do something as a one off which disrupts the schedule for other families, the courteous thing to do would be to say something in advance. As for flexibility - correct, CMs are not as flexible as other options. Offering to look after the children outside of hours doesn't make them flexible. It's very helpful, but doesn't make the agreement flexible. Eg If a parent wants to pick up early or drop off late for whatever reason this might make things tricky if the CM and the children are all out of the house

Really so pleased tell me where I'm wrong and your qualifications? Did you see the news today....21 cases of child cruelty and where did she work? Oh yes a nursery with staff present.

Oh so what you mean is the parent can be late, early flip and flop about more easily in nursery....great start for school ....dear school I'm running late because flexible....dear nursery I'm arriving £10 minutes after you close don't charge me that £30 late fee.

yes that's exactly what I'm saying. What on earth has school got to do with it - is there something wrong with you? Looking at messages you're sending other people you appear to have a huge chip on your shoulder and are rejecting anyone not singing the praises of a childminder. Yes, if I want to drop my child late or collect early for whatever reason, a doctors appointment for example, a nursery or a 1:1 nanny allows for that. A childminder might already be out on a day trip or doing the school run which doesn't afford the same flexibility and isn't ideal for all families.

No idea what you're going on about re late fees. Friends who use childminders are always charged when they're not collected on time.

calm down and get yourself a snack. Childminders aren't for everyone and that's ok (same as nurseries and Nannies aren't either)

Of course you can say I need to pick up early or drop late where do you get that idea from? If the cm is out they are generally local unless it's a pre arranged trip so you just go there same if your running late you call say I need to drop late etc. I had one today meet me at the woods.
I don't mind what people use but the ridiculous assumptions are pretty annoying....and sorry but when you have someone dying in hospital having someone put themselves out in their own time for no cost isectreamly flexible. Most CMS actually don't charge for genuine occasional lateness.

I have never been charged by my nursery. I've been late before because of cancelled trains. No charge. Why are you bringing up late fees in the first place and what are you talking about people dying for? Honestly what is wrong with you, please calm down. I can't believe you look after children with a cruel attitude like this. Yes, I know a lot of people who use childminders and having to drop them somewhere else in the morning if they're running late frustrates them - but there will be other reasons why they prefer a CM so works for them. Most people choose a childcare setting which is suitable for their commute so it have to go somewhere else entirely isn't ideal but some do if a childminder is what they want. Some mums have to drop off by 8:15 or they can't be dropped off at all which is ridiculous. Go to sleep just incase you have to responsible for other peoples children in the morning

@Nearlyamumoftwo .....2 year olds are in some schools now...you can't just walk in and hour late because your late waking up or drop before school opens.

Because I've looked after children who's mother died maybe sat with them over night and the weekend then told them the news and idiots say were not flexible or it's no big deal ....I'm glad I'm so cruel in your words maybe that's why I have so many god children and care for children since a few months old and who are now in senior school.

@Nearlyamumoftwo

Is there a reason why you’re being so nasty to another poster? So condescending and nasty telling her to go and have a snack. Please keep to the facts and stop twisting her words, you sound like a bully and as though you’re the one with a chip on your shoulder tbh!

@jannier

any reasonable poster can understand what you’re saying and you sound lovely, being flexible for parents in those harrowing circumstances.

My CM also has looked after her minded children in emergencies such as when their mum is hospital giving birth. So appreciated.

You've got a real bee in your bonnet - you're clearly not well and are missing the point entirely. Accept that childminders aren't for everyone. Nurseries aren't for everyone. Family members watching kids isn't for everyone. Parents quitting work to look after kids full time isn't for everyone. I don't understand why you keep talking about people dying in the night - I'm sure if a child went to a nursery or had a nanny someone would be able to watch them in the night if they needed. You aren't special.

not at all. Read back at what she's saying to people - it's really odd. All im saying is that each family have different needs - CMs work for some, SAHP work for others, nurseries work for others, and that's fine. A childminder won't work for my set up and that's ok. She's really taking offense to that, especially when I suggested some (SOME) cannot be flexible. She watches people all through the night though, so is amazing 😉

Well if you choose to send your child somewhere that has boundaries, you respect them... obviously. If the set up won't work for whatever reason, you do something else. Honestly I'm done it's such a shame you cannot open your mind and understand not everyone needs or wants a childminder

You really don't understand real life, if you have no family who would you want to look after your children while your wife is dying some random stranger or the carer who has them 8 hours a day.
I have never said everyone should use a childminder I think your reading things that are not there....and getting very nasty in the process. All I have said is that CMS are more flexible than a facility that is open between set hours and for genuine reasons will normally put themselves out to support the families they work with ....generally because they have a personal relationship. Obviously if you've never used a cm you don't understand that...or need it. But should you really make judgements on things you have no experience of and promote false stereo types. For example you do know CMS can and often do have up to 4 staff working at a setting, that many of us have more qualifications than room leaders in nurseries etc.
Anyway obviously your having a bad day so are taking it out on a stranger better that than someone at home.

@jannier

please don’t engage further with someone who’s calling you ‘unwell’ and asking you to go lie down and have a snack because your experience of being a CM doesn’t align, not worth it and she’s not interested in trying to understand what you’re saying.

Im sure your parents value you greatly and your experience.