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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

at 35 I want to retire

399 replies

Oranges836 · 10/06/2025 14:12

Changed name for this post.

35 and sick of working dont want to do it for another nearly 40 years.
Changed job and hate working in any job
dont want to do any job im happy doing nothing

thats it thats the thread

OP posts:
ADRV · 11/06/2025 21:02

I 100% feel the same. My job isn’t bad and I like the people but I just don’t want to do it anymore. Worked since I was 16, am now 45 - had 1 break of 5 months in that time and another of 3 months - cannot stand the thought of needing to do another 25 years. This cannot be all there is to life.

Lincslady53 · 11/06/2025 21:03

Have a look at rebel finance on you tube. They have plans on how to invest and plan to become financially independant. It won't work for everyone, but will suit some.

Whitetalhntr5150 · 11/06/2025 21:41

No one does unless theyre making serious money or they live their job. Most people dont. However, i suggest you grow up and accept the way the world works. Your only other option i can see is marry someone wealthy but with your fantasy intepretation if things i dint see it happening. There has to be things youre interested in unless your a blank slate. Almost anything you like to do can be turned into a job. It might take motivation and creativity but if you lack those i guess youre just SOL

Wadadli · 11/06/2025 21:50

I gave up work due to ill health at the end of 2022: it took 15 months before my physical and mental health improved. In February 2024 I embarked on a five week BTEC level one course in customer care. Got that. Also in 2024 I attended a university summer school - I loved it. I’m now looking forward to becoming a full time student at a Russell Group university beginning in September where because of my age I will never need to repay the student loan (I expect I’ll be long dead in 40 years)

I’m 63 and have never been more seen or felt more attractive. I have total strangers, men and women, complementing me on my style and attitude and that’s because I’m free to be wholeheartedly myself

If I were you I’d consult a financial adviser asap who will work out what you need to do to retire as early as possible

Had I continued paying £50/m in a private pension from 1992 to 2012 I could’ve retired at 52 with a seven figure pension pot. I was astounded when I saw the annual statement in early 2024, which despite only three years of contributions has proved lucrative

However, in 1992 I bought a flat in east London which is now worth nearly ten times more than I paid for it, so it worked out well in a different way. It was pure luck that I bought where I did (now on the Lizzy line) at a time when the affluent working classes were moving to Essex

The bottom line: deferred gratification

Good luck

TankFlyBossW4lk · 11/06/2025 21:50

MsTTT · 10/06/2025 14:20

What are you doing to make your dream of retiring early a reality, OP?

I’m 42 and plan to retire at 50. I was around your age when I started putting serious plans into place. It’s not easy but can be done- it does takes discipline.

Can I ask you, how much do you think you'll need to put aside to retire at 50. Asking for a friend 😆

Mummy2jen · 11/06/2025 22:29

I’m the same I’m 43 now I’ve worked full time since I was 18. I’m tired and my job in a nursery school is physically and mentally draining. I would cope more workout the 40 min commute every morning. I have two kids and single house is a tip. Spend every weekend cleaning let’s see if I can carry on (have no choice but to) also work extra half terms and do extra nannying jobs at the weekends which I don’t mind so much. For me it’s the daily slog of routine and the fact I can never keep up at home. Also sick of the London traffic in the morning

Mummy2jen · 11/06/2025 22:32

Sorry typo

meant without the commute it would be easier. And single mum

Netcam · 11/06/2025 22:37

anitarielleliphe · 10/06/2025 16:04

I also thought of another thing to add to this discussion. Some people in life derive fulfillment and pleasure from being "maintainers," while others do so by being "creators." On the surface, this fact can be overlooked and one may not recognize the importance, but it is actually a big deal.

For someone that derives pleasure and a sense of purpose in "creating" something, a job in which you are maintaining someone else's creation can be very unfulfilling, boring, and seen as drudgery.

Likewise, for someone that feels undue pressure, or is easily stressed out when forced into a "creative" role, they will navigate to tasks that are maintenance.

There is not one that is inherently better than the other, even though sometimes the "creators" may get more accolades. Without people to fulfill both types of roles, we would not get far as a society.

And, it isn't entirely black and white. What you may find is that there are areas of your life that you are mostly a "creator," but in some other areas you derive pleasure out of maintenance. Edit: "And vice-versa."

How do you figure out what you lean toward? Analyze yourself and think of examples with work and home life that might give you a clue. Examples:

You might be a creator if . . .

  1. You love creating a design plan for a garden, and installing it, but you would prefer that someone else do the trimming, mulching, etc.
  2. You love painting a portrait . . . before you realize it you've spent most of a Saturday on it and forgotten to eat lunch, but when it comes to touching up the woodwork in your house, you avoid it at all costs.
  3. You are given a task at work that requires you to do a lot of self-study to design a new report. You get engaged in the task and enjoy it, but six months later when you've done your 20th report, you find it boring.

You might be a maintainer if . . .

  1. You love gardening. You just love being outside and trimming back hedges, applying fertilizer to your beds, but the thought of having to design a whole new mass planting area at the back of your garden stresses you out.
  2. You love de-cluttering routinely, and don't mind that repetitive housework like laundry and dishes. Your mind wanders as you do it and you find it relaxing.
  3. You enjoy a job with a very clear job description and set of routine tasks, and when you are not given enough guidance and expected to "figure things out" on your own and find creative solutions on your own, you find yourself frustrated easily.
Edited

Interesting. I'm definitely a creator. Probably the reason I never get bored in my job, I'm continually learning and doing something different. I was talking to friends about this at the weekend, about 'down' time at work when there is a simple task to do. I realised I do not ever really have simple tasks, they all require a huge amount of thinking.

But I feel I need the challenge. I get bored very easily with repetitive tasks of any kind and find them difficult to keep going for any length of time as my brain starts wandering.

blueshoes · 11/06/2025 22:38

lilkitten · 11/06/2025 20:05

Me too, I run my own business and I always look forward to going into work. I work with my DP, our plan is to slow down rather than stop, though as it's in the creative industry I'm not sure how much we'll slow down (FIL is in the same business, and has just semi-retired at 81)

@lilkitten are you able to say which part of the creative industry you are in? Impressed that you can keep going for so long. Thought it is a young person's game.

SnozPoz · 11/06/2025 22:47

Well my DP is about to retire and wants me to retire with him and I absolutely don't want either of us to do so. It's not about the money. I've always enjoyed my work. It's given me purpose, keeps the cogs whirring, keeps me engaged with younger generations and up to speed with new trends, and has motivated me not only to get up and go to work but to organise my life around it. Be careful what you wish for. I'm the world's best potterer I can fill my time no problem... but not working is .... boring!

FlyMeSomewhere · 11/06/2025 22:55

The key is finding the right job rather than expecting someone to fund you to sit on your sofa for the rest of your life.

Many people live until the age of 100 now so what are you going to do for the next 65 years!

The benefits system won't pay anyone to stop working at a young age, they don't pay people who voluntarily pack jobs in full stop!

I got made redundant last sept and was out of a job for over 4 months. When there's no replacement income it's not much of a life, you can't buy things, you can't plan trips, you can't justify going out for a meal! You become financially reliant on others! Your life stops! My partner and I travel the world and you can't do things like that if you don't work! You can't live a fulfilled life if you refuse to.earn an income to pay for it! Life won't be fun just sitting around with no money to.do anything with it day in, day out, week in week.out, month in month out, year in year out! That just sounds like misery to me! Also remember that none of your friends, partner etc will be sat out of work so you'll be lonely.

Helen483 · 11/06/2025 23:13

Oranges836 · 10/06/2025 19:43

cant wait to die then i dont have to work

Well I'm sorry OP, but you sound as if you are struggling with depression.

What do you think the alternative is?

Bowies · 11/06/2025 23:30

Did you have a total change of direction (retrained) or just changed jobs?

Would you be able to retrain into something completely different. If it’s 2 similar jobs you can’t really decide you hate all types of work.

What would you be wanting to do with the time - are there hobbies you are passionate about for example you could do related work in?

Otherwise are you able to have a change of scene - location perhaps?

There’s different types of work - there will always be some downsides, but possible to find something a bit more meaningful or interesting?

A sabbatical or studying for a year may be easier than completely retiring at 35.

I don’t agree with the ever increasing retirement age, but 60 was about right (not 35!).

lilkitten · 11/06/2025 23:38

blueshoes · 11/06/2025 22:38

@lilkitten are you able to say which part of the creative industry you are in? Impressed that you can keep going for so long. Thought it is a young person's game.

Jewellery Design and goldsmithing. It very much depends on how your hands and back go, but we know so many 80-ish people still working if they're lucky. I can't see us stopping as we love making.

NaneePolly · 11/06/2025 23:41

Go for it, you don’t have to work if you don’t want to Retirement is when you leave work and live off a pension not state benefits, is that what you mean?

Bowies · 11/06/2025 23:45

somethinggoodisgonnahappen · 10/06/2025 20:39

One of my DC recently told me that they are looking forward to retirement and they haven't even left school yet! 😂

Ha ha yes…I can relate to this. SM influence most likely. I don’t see it as aspirational or desirable to retire at a young age though, there are lots of benefits to working in general and many people don’t do well after retiring unless they put a lot in place (charity work, hobbies etc).

Oldwmn · 12/06/2025 00:05

Oranges836 · 10/06/2025 14:12

Changed name for this post.

35 and sick of working dont want to do it for another nearly 40 years.
Changed job and hate working in any job
dont want to do any job im happy doing nothing

thats it thats the thread

Know how you feel. I've been wanting to retire since I was 21. 50 years later, I've done it😀 Don't get trapped in a shitty job, make plans!

Thefsm · 12/06/2025 00:37

I understand. I’ve been both blessed and cursed as I haven’t been allowed to work since I was 22 as we moved to America and I haven’t had a work visa. I’m now 44 with zero work experience and suddenly I can get a job soon and I don’t want to! I know it will be menial work and won’t use my brains at all. I didn’t finish my degree before we moved either so no hope of a decent job here.

blueshoes · 12/06/2025 01:18

SnozPoz · 11/06/2025 22:47

Well my DP is about to retire and wants me to retire with him and I absolutely don't want either of us to do so. It's not about the money. I've always enjoyed my work. It's given me purpose, keeps the cogs whirring, keeps me engaged with younger generations and up to speed with new trends, and has motivated me not only to get up and go to work but to organise my life around it. Be careful what you wish for. I'm the world's best potterer I can fill my time no problem... but not working is .... boring!

Love your description of work life. It keeps my finger on the pulse and makes me up my game in a way no hobbies or pottering around could compare.

I have had older colleagues who take a step back at work before retiring say that they are privileged to work with (younger) smart people who keep them challenged in their final years at the firm.

PBJsandwich123 · 12/06/2025 01:21

Profpudding · 10/06/2025 14:19

Have you looked into the fire movement?
It stops me in my tracks every time I want to order a new pair of UGG boots or a new pair of gazelle’s which I don’t need, but I would quite like
I think to myself am I Prepared to spend an additional eight hours of my life at work for a pair of shoes
Versus being at the beach
Nine times out of 10 the beach wins

1000% this. Being as thrifty as I can with out completely sucking the joy out of life so I can whack it in my ISA/SIPP and retire at 55 or at least go part-time 🤞Relocated somewhere more affordable, vinted everything (buying and selling), try to do volunteering as my social activity, bulk buying food, batch cooking, growing the odd vegetable, eat out much less. There are loads more ideas on Instagram, but these are the ones I keep up. Still have holidays and pay for pottery/life drawing lessons from time to time but don't miss any of the lifestyle crap I used to buy into that was costing me a bomb/delaying retirement. When you realise that every purchase is putting back your retirement, it really makes you think.

blueshoes · 12/06/2025 01:22

lilkitten · 11/06/2025 23:38

Jewellery Design and goldsmithing. It very much depends on how your hands and back go, but we know so many 80-ish people still working if they're lucky. I can't see us stopping as we love making.

Sounds wonderful to work with your hands. I like the way you say you love making. Trying to think of the last time I made anything. That would be ds 😂

PBJsandwich123 · 12/06/2025 01:34

Brownthosebrownonionsbrown · 10/06/2025 14:26

Not unreasonable to want it, or to tell us

probably a bit unreasonable to sit on your hands permanently moaning about it

Yes, get yourself a plan OP - if you don't like your life change it - there are a tonne of adult apprenticeships - everything from GCSE to degree - all careers from midwifery, to dispensing optician to surveyor. If your current job doesn't stimulate you something else will.

HAB75 · 12/06/2025 02:40

I am disabled - both mental and physical chronic ill health, plus neurodiversity thrown in for fun. I have always wanted to work, so I've had no choice but to find something engaging that I enjoy enough to keep me at my desk. It wasn't an option to grind through - I would honestly never get through a day, let alone a week.

If I have been able to find the right career, I honestly believe it is possible for everyone. I also have really engaging hobbies - ie. I could do easily fill my time without employment - but I would not drop my day job as part of the overall equation.

There are so many reasons people don't enjoy their work, but the most common is that their workplace is unhappy for them. Colleagues might seem to be as happy as larry, but that doesn't mean it is right for you. First consider moving employer.and swapping for a better fit of culture. It isn't all same sh!t.

Then, if you know it will be same shit, consider a sideways move into something similar, and look for a more suitable employer. You know what you don't want when looking for a new employer.

After that, you may have to do some re/training as a lot of.people just aren't given the right skills to really thrive. Be creative here - I had to do an entire MSc to get myself in position, but it really doesn't always take something anywhere near so big. I run an online professional development community that allows people to get the skills their employer should be giving them, but isn't. It is a small monthly cost that allows people to unlock time and find easier success. It is an investment in feeling a whole load better and stronger. That is one example of the support that exists.

I just don't accept that you have to suck it up, because I couldn't just suck it up. It wasn't an option, and yet I was much more up against it than your average person. There is no reason why you should be looking at decades of misery that you just have to endure. You know you cannot just grind through this, so don't put up with it. Don't concentrate on how you're going to skip into work each day on a cloud of delight, but on how you are going to feel each Friday afternoon, and then each Sunday night (or whatever your equivalent might be). Satisfaction on Friday aftetnoon and positive anticipation of satisfaction on Sunday night should be your aim.

All you are going through is the realisation that something has to change. What that change needs to be means thinking through your options. But forcing yourself to contemplate going along as you are isn't one of your options. Don't accept the status quo - grinding through belongs to previous eras. Gen-Z is refusing to grind through, as they have no pot of gold at the end of their rainbows. Take a leaf and make some changes, big or small as required.

VivIsBlonde · 12/06/2025 06:20

my husband at the age of 21 & myself 18 both started to put money into pensions and whatnot so we could retire at the age of 55, now he’s 60. & I’m 57 and still both working full time!
The payout we would have gotten back when we were 55 would have lasted us 7/8 years due to how expensive everything is now and we wouldn’t be living the life we are now, going abroad 4 times a year and also changing cars every year!

Prayingforananswer · 12/06/2025 07:13

SnozPoz · 11/06/2025 22:47

Well my DP is about to retire and wants me to retire with him and I absolutely don't want either of us to do so. It's not about the money. I've always enjoyed my work. It's given me purpose, keeps the cogs whirring, keeps me engaged with younger generations and up to speed with new trends, and has motivated me not only to get up and go to work but to organise my life around it. Be careful what you wish for. I'm the world's best potterer I can fill my time no problem... but not working is .... boring!

SNAP! I refused to retire when DH did. I told him that I had supported him throughout his career and now it was his turn to do it for mine, and he accepted it. I hope to work until I'm 70, even though we're comfortably off, as I enjoy the responsibilities in my role.