Sex education for 9-10 year olds

[Ladyoftheapple]

Hello, I am just looking for opinions on this. My daughter is in year 5 at school and as part of their PSHE sessions, they will be talking about sex. At present, she does know what this is and I feel it is totally inappropriate at this age. We have been given the lesson plan and this includes teaching them that the penis goes into the vagina and ejaculates and also that sometimes this isn’t just to make a baby so contraception is needed. As part of this they will also be talking about boys and wet dreams. My daughter is quite a young 9 year old and I just do not understand the rush to tell them this! To be honest I’m quite annoyed and feel that this is something that shouldn’t be taught until the start of secondary school. Why is there a rush to take away their innocence these days 😳

I'm nearly 70 and my mum was a paediatric nurse who went into family planning. We had the book (Peter and Caroline) and read it together when I was about seven. Sex ed wasn't covered in primary school then (not in Cornwall) but many kids were from farming families and would have seen animals mating.

But these are just basic facts. It’s not sexy; it’s mechanics, taught to all children nationally.

Your daughter is 9 and she doesn’t know basic biology?! I find that more shocking to be honest. I started my period at 9 - does she at least understand that process? And have a basic understanding of her anatomy? My daughter is 20 months & knows what her vulva, vagina etc is & has already shown an interest in my period & body etc when I’m in the bathroom with her so I just chat to her about things (for example when I’m changing my pad) so that nothing is taboo. You’re not “preserving” your child’s “innocence”. You’re actually just putting her more at risk for things like sexual abuse - especially if she doesn’t even know what sex is. They have age appropriate books for even toddlers about understanding your body, boundaries, consent etc so you should probably start working on these topics with your daughter at home.

What harm is knowing going to do? What does "losing her innocence" actually mean? She's not going to come back from her sex education lesson a different person. She's going to be exactly the same little girl, just with the knowledge of some basic biological facts.

On the flip side, what harm could not knowing have? DD started her periods in year 5. She was prepared, because we'd talked to her about them, and so had the school. So while it was an emotional experience for her, it wasn't an unexpected one, and she knew what was happening to her.

I, on the other hand started having wet dreams at that age and was confused as fuck, and worried that there was something wrong with me, until I eventually figured out what was going on from another kid in school.

And thats before you get into the fact that a child knowing what sex is means they are more likely to understand when something inappropriate is happening to them and tell an adult about it.

There are many reasons why good age appropriate sex education throughout school is good for kids, there are absolutely no reasons not to do it.

My DS had his first wet dream in Yr 6. Thankfully he knew what it was and we talked about it. Your phrase 'taking away their innocence' shows that you'd rather use an emotive cliché than consider the actual, very nuanced, impact of what will happen. They're not going to become sex obsessed monsters. They'll go 'OK' and carry on playing or reading or whatever.

I really want OP to come back now because I'm interested to know whether she grew up in the UK and if so, whether she somehow missed out on the shit sex education videos covering all the aspects she mentioned, which everyone on this thread up to about their 50s seems to have seen in year 5 or 6?

My DD got told about sex at age 7 by a classmate. He did a good job actually - kudos to his parents. I can confirm that her 'innocence' was not destroyed. She was still playing fairies in the playground up to year 6 and still believed in Father Christmas up to the same age. She's a young adult and has just been on her first date at the ripe old age of 20.

My Y2, 7yo will be having sex education (unless I opt out).

A lot of it won't be sex related but she will be taught the correct anatomical names of body parts including clitoris.

I'm actually unsure if I'm going to let her attend. She has SEN so it's different for her but 7yo feels very young.

Y5 is fine.

I was still at the primary stage (a very long time ago) when someone told me how babies are made. TBH I was very glad to find out at last, because a neighbour’s son was the absolute spit of his dad, and I couldn’t understand why or how, since I knew babies grew in the mother.

I had asked my DM but she’d fobbed me off!

I’m reminded of a friend’s experience with her dd of maybe 8 (she’d be mid 40s now).

Friend was peeling potatoes when her dd said, ‘Mum, So and So told me that to get a baby, a man puts his willy in the woman’s (whatever she called it). Is it true?’
Friend (thinking, Oh Lord), ‘Well, yes, it is.’
Dd. ‘ Oh.’ (Long pause.). ‘Did you and Daddy do that to get me?’
Friend. ‘Well, yes, we did.’
Dd. ‘Oh.’ (Very long pause.) Yeeeuuugh!! 😂

Innocence and ignorance are two completely different things. In my opinion they should already know all that by this age-sex education is to catch the ones whose parents can’t or won’t do their job.

My favouritee is still my niece, looking at my brother in the shower. “That can get bigger, can’t it?” My brother, trying to be cool “Yes, it can” Niece “Go on, then”