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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Awful mum

67 replies

absolutelynoideaat · 09/06/2025 23:27

I’m absolutely at the end of my rope with my autistic daughter and I’m feeling like the worst Mum ever. She is almost 10 and she absolutely drives me insane 😢. For years I have to constantly repeat everything I say. I feel myself getting so burnt out. Every day is a constant battle for her to do absolutely anything. And she always says I shout at her… problem is I constantly get What What… so I do end up shouting.. Then I feel like sht. I’m heading for perimenopause and I’m an absolute dragon! My job is sht my life feels an absolute mess. My partner has an autoimmune disorder and I really resent it!! He manages to work fine but can’t manage at home… Problem being I know it’s absolutely so bad for him cause he’s working to provide for us… I work part time but lately I absolutely hate my job… I really want to run away… I’m feel so bitter and trapped. I’ve hated our house since we moved here.. it’s council and we were very lucky to get it… Problem is I’ve never settled here and it depresses me so much. Everything I touch seems to feck up, I just want to disappear. Feeling like a complete failure and I’m lost in what to do. I’m an absolute mess. Any advice is welcome cause the way I’m feeling is scaring the absolute sh*t out of me!!

OP posts:
Charliebear322 · 09/06/2025 23:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

absolutelynoideaat · 09/06/2025 23:31

Thanks for the helpful advice… if only that helped

OP posts:
Flipslop · 09/06/2025 23:32

absolutelynoideaat · 09/06/2025 23:27

I’m absolutely at the end of my rope with my autistic daughter and I’m feeling like the worst Mum ever. She is almost 10 and she absolutely drives me insane 😢. For years I have to constantly repeat everything I say. I feel myself getting so burnt out. Every day is a constant battle for her to do absolutely anything. And she always says I shout at her… problem is I constantly get What What… so I do end up shouting.. Then I feel like sht. I’m heading for perimenopause and I’m an absolute dragon! My job is sht my life feels an absolute mess. My partner has an autoimmune disorder and I really resent it!! He manages to work fine but can’t manage at home… Problem being I know it’s absolutely so bad for him cause he’s working to provide for us… I work part time but lately I absolutely hate my job… I really want to run away… I’m feel so bitter and trapped. I’ve hated our house since we moved here.. it’s council and we were very lucky to get it… Problem is I’ve never settled here and it depresses me so much. Everything I touch seems to feck up, I just want to disappear. Feeling like a complete failure and I’m lost in what to do. I’m an absolute mess. Any advice is welcome cause the way I’m feeling is scaring the absolute sh*t out of me!!

you sound so overwhelmed, which also seems understandable in your situation. Treat yourself like your best friend, be very kind and understanding to yourself and reach out for support (via gp / charity / private therapy if you can afford it) things can totally get better with the right help x

Charliebear322 · 09/06/2025 23:36

absolutelynoideaat · 09/06/2025 23:31

Thanks for the helpful advice… if only that helped

No it really does just try to relax and let go more and have fun

SaintNoMountainHighEnough · 09/06/2025 23:39
  1. It's ok to not be ok. It's a starting point.
  2. What kind of things did you enjoy before parenthood?
absolutelynoideaat · 09/06/2025 23:40

Appreciate your reply I feel like such a failure. I’m so short tempered and angry all the time. Snappy and awful. I’m just so nippy. I have had an appointment with my doctor and was told it’s perimenopause but I’m so irritated and horrible I feel like I’ve lost myself and I just want to curle up and disappear

OP posts:
absolutelynoideaat · 09/06/2025 23:43

Sorry Charliebear322 I’m just so sensitive right now. I’m taking everything to heart x

OP posts:
XelaM · 09/06/2025 23:47

OP I completely understand how you feel and feel very much the same at the moment. No advice but a lot of solidarity x

Kirstk · 09/06/2025 23:52

absolutelynoideaat · 09/06/2025 23:27

I’m absolutely at the end of my rope with my autistic daughter and I’m feeling like the worst Mum ever. She is almost 10 and she absolutely drives me insane 😢. For years I have to constantly repeat everything I say. I feel myself getting so burnt out. Every day is a constant battle for her to do absolutely anything. And she always says I shout at her… problem is I constantly get What What… so I do end up shouting.. Then I feel like sht. I’m heading for perimenopause and I’m an absolute dragon! My job is sht my life feels an absolute mess. My partner has an autoimmune disorder and I really resent it!! He manages to work fine but can’t manage at home… Problem being I know it’s absolutely so bad for him cause he’s working to provide for us… I work part time but lately I absolutely hate my job… I really want to run away… I’m feel so bitter and trapped. I’ve hated our house since we moved here.. it’s council and we were very lucky to get it… Problem is I’ve never settled here and it depresses me so much. Everything I touch seems to feck up, I just want to disappear. Feeling like a complete failure and I’m lost in what to do. I’m an absolute mess. Any advice is welcome cause the way I’m feeling is scaring the absolute sh*t out of me!!

Count your blessings she can talk my son has autism as well as other conditions and is non verbal.

absolutelynoideaat · 09/06/2025 23:52

XelaM · 09/06/2025 23:47

OP I completely understand how you feel and feel very much the same at the moment. No advice but a lot of solidarity x

It’s so sh*t is it. I’m trying to get out this mess and I feel like I’m just treading water

OP posts:
Humberston · 09/06/2025 23:54

@absolutelynoideaat oh I do feel for you, when my autistic son was 10 I really struggled too. I was lucky in that I was a single parent and he went to his dads regularly so I got a break to recharge my batteries. Is there any way at all you could get some time for yourself, or find a support group so you know you're not alone in your feelings? I can't remember the name of the service, but there was a phone line for parents that I used to call just to vent or cry when my sons behavior really got on top of me.

Also (and I hope you dont find this patronising) can you access any courses or read up on strategies to help you parent your daughter without getting overwrought?

GG1986 · 09/06/2025 23:54

I'm also in this situation with my daughter and it's so hard, no advice but know you are not alone. X

absolutelynoideaat · 09/06/2025 23:55

Kirstk · 09/06/2025 23:52

Count your blessings she can talk my son has autism as well as other conditions and is non verbal.

I’m not trying to compete with anyone I’m just looking for some support cause I’m drowning. If I could change your situation I absolutely would. I’m asking for advice

OP posts:
Enough4me · 09/06/2025 23:56

OP, ignore the messages telling you to relax or count yourself lucky.
Life isn't fair and sometimes it's really overwhelming. You are working hard at it and you do matter.
Are there any small things you have thought about trying for a change or little wins you have enjoyed?

SaulHudsonDavidJones · 09/06/2025 23:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Wow, way to kick someone when they’re down!

SaulHudsonDavidJones · 09/06/2025 23:58

Kirstk · 09/06/2025 23:52

Count your blessings she can talk my son has autism as well as other conditions and is non verbal.

It’s not a race to the bottom, have some empathy.

absolutelynoideaat · 09/06/2025 23:59

Humberston · 09/06/2025 23:54

@absolutelynoideaat oh I do feel for you, when my autistic son was 10 I really struggled too. I was lucky in that I was a single parent and he went to his dads regularly so I got a break to recharge my batteries. Is there any way at all you could get some time for yourself, or find a support group so you know you're not alone in your feelings? I can't remember the name of the service, but there was a phone line for parents that I used to call just to vent or cry when my sons behavior really got on top of me.

Also (and I hope you dont find this patronising) can you access any courses or read up on strategies to help you parent your daughter without getting overwrought?

The absolute joke in all this is that I’m a Support Worker for special needs yet I’m absolutely failing my daughter.. I’m fully trained in all this.. yet at home I’m struggling every day

OP posts:
LadyGAgain · 10/06/2025 00:01

absolutelynoideaat · 09/06/2025 23:40

Appreciate your reply I feel like such a failure. I’m so short tempered and angry all the time. Snappy and awful. I’m just so nippy. I have had an appointment with my doctor and was told it’s perimenopause but I’m so irritated and horrible I feel like I’ve lost myself and I just want to curle up and disappear

Did you get any help? I was like this and got HRT which changed my life within 2 weeks.

absolutelynoideaat · 10/06/2025 00:06

LadyGAgain · 10/06/2025 00:01

Did you get any help? I was like this and got HRT which changed my life within 2 weeks.

Basically was told by my doctor that it’s part of being a woman and every time I get blood tests my hormone levels appear fine. But I’m an absolute mess.. not sure where to turn anymore I’m a b*tch and I feel so out of control

OP posts:
Redbushteaforme · 10/06/2025 00:12

Gosh, that all sounds hard! Don't be fobbed off with explanations that it is all down to perimenopause. That is probably not helping but you obviously have challenges and maybe there are ways to help improve some things.

With your DD, as a PP suggested, can you try eg through National Autism Society, to find support with/other ways of responding to her that might help improve the current situation?

My DH also has an autoimmune condition which makes him.very tired after work. However, the right medication/dose can make a big difference. I don't know how it works with your DH, but has he had a review recently to see if his treatment can be improved/fine-tuned?

Re your house, can you identify exactly what you don't like about it and things, even small things, iiiiìiìii you could do to address these? Are there positive things you could do which might overcome some of the practical.issues you might have with it?

If you hate your job, can you apply for others or else have some sort of plan to undertake study which would allow you apply for different things?

You definitely need time for yourself too so try to shoehorn that in. My autistic daughter picks up on and is affected by stress/negative vibes in the house and I imagine yours might be similar. If you can take time out regularly, even for a short walk in green space, you will start feeling better and hopefully your DD will respond to this.

Enough4me · 10/06/2025 00:14

Blood tests cannot help as they don't know your 'normal' level for comparison. At least that's what my doctor told me. She had a list of symptoms and was happy for me to try a low dose of HRT.

Pleaseshutthefuckup · 10/06/2025 00:16

What the absolute fucking nonsense are these posts on here? Telling OP to chill out and then playing the my problem is bigger than yours game.

OP- the fact you apologised to that stupid bloody comment that you chill out and say you're feeling sensitive. This is telling me alot. It tells me you're a people pleaser who probably gets taken advantage of, that your own needs come after everyone else.

I don't care if it's your child here but you need a break from her and you need to put you first!

It's like sucking every breath from you sometimes when raising a child with needs like this. You can love, protect, do everything you can for them but also accept this truth. You're even having your reality turned upside down by your child telling you you're shouting. You are shouting for good reason. My autistic teen does this stuff all the time and I really struggle with the very different experiences of reality we both have side by side sometimes.

Holiday club, after school club, Local Authority schemes for SEN kids. I used alot of them and they were great.

You are not the problem at all. You need some joy, some fun, some time alone and space and breaks regularly. I'd do everything to get that.

DaisiesAndDonuts · 10/06/2025 00:18

I'm kinda in the same boat. Got a disabled child and struggle with hormones. Life sometimes gets the better of me. Evening primrose oil has been a god send! It really helps with my mood swings. I take 2000mg daily. It does take a few weeks to start taking affect. I also take kalms when I feel overwhelmed and going for a walk is so good for mental health if you can get out.

PennyRest · 10/06/2025 00:30

I think I’d try again with the GP. Just because it’s ’part of being a woman’ doesn’t mean there is nothing that can help. Perhaps you could ask to see another (female) GP and explain you’d like to consider HRT. I don’t think you have to prove it with hormone levels.
Not saying it’s not still tough but it might help
just enough to get you through this a bit easier.

AlwaysTheRenegade · 10/06/2025 00:31

Can you do a timetable, printed or written that she can follow? Obviously with encouragement from you aswell? I've had the accusations that I was shouting, when I'd repeated myself multiple times without an answer. I'm trying to get a bit tougher, but still keep it light of that makes sense. Solidarity!

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