Ever heard of someone being given a bonus for their partner's '𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧'?

[BlackbeakQueen]

I've just seen this on Linked In - and I am not sure how I feel about this. Is it cringy? is it discriminatory against single people? Is it patronising? or is it a nice thing to do?

Ever heard of someone being given a bonus for their partner's '𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧'?

I hadn't.

But a few weeks ago I had a conversation with an HR Director who talked to me about exactly that and I’ve not stopped thinking about since!!

At the end of his time with one organisation, he was given a bonus in recognition of his work (fairly standard).

But what stood out was this: his wife was given one too.

A thank you for her 'silent contribution'.

When he asked what that meant, his boss said:

"𝘉𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳, 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘺𝘦𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘢𝘭𝘭. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘨𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰𝘰."

It really struck a chord 🥹

Behind every thriving employee, there’s often someone else cheering them on quietly - holding the fort at home, picking up the pieces after long days, listening when it’s hard, and sacrificing in ways that rarely get seen (let alone acknowledged).

Work and life don’t exist in separate boxes. They never have.

And while it’s not always feasible to recognise that support financially, even a small moment of appreciation can go a long way.

It was a lovely reminder that sometimes the people who make great work possible are the ones who never step foot in the office.

I wonder how many female employees got this?

It's rubbish really isn't it. There should be the expectation of equal labour applying to home and work. It's also unfair on single people.

Seems archaic to me.

Sounds absolutely crackers to me, and an open invitation for unmarried employees to take them to an employment tribunal. Marital status is a protected characteristic under the Equality Act.

Did single people get a double bonus?

No, that person is me! I'm the main breadwinner AND I do all that other shit. I reckon a lot of mums are in the same position.

Not a bonus as such, but I (and other wives) have been verbally thanked like this before. And yes, it was all wives. I thought it was quite nice, we do have to adjust our life to allow and support for a very demanding job with lots of overseas travel.
wouldnt it be nice if it was standard that it was 50/50 male/female partners in this role?!

Ick ick ick

Not least because they would be paying it to her husband as that's the bank account they have, tax and NI deducted no doubt or HMRC would have a field day.

Absolutely fvcking crackers

That seems crazy to me. DH has gotten large bonuses before for his exceptional work. He acknowledges he could not have done that work without me covering some of his domestic responsibilities. We automatically share his bonuses without any discussion as it is obvious they belong to both of us.

My DH had a boss that sometimes sent hampers to his employees’ home address with an explicit thank you to them and their spouse if applicable. From what I heard the recipients were always happily surprised and appreciated being recognised.

A monetary bonus that single people wouldn’t get doesn’t make sense to me however.

Marital status is a protected characteristic but it protects only those who are married, not those who are single.

Exactly. How many husbands and male partners were imagined to be silently contributing by picking up the slack in housework and childcare, while female employees lived in the office?🙄

What an absolute lot of rubbish. I would be raging if my company was handing over their limited bonus pot to Jim’s wife or Jane’s husband

As pp said who benefits from that if the employee is single? They have to do all that with little emotional support. If that’s the case they should be getting double the bonus so the financial amount going into a household is the same

I think thats what annoyed me really - it was for the mans female partner.... just felt "little woman"

Cringe. Also, I venture, archaic and sexist?

DH's work sort of do.

If their travel is more than 3 weeks (that's their standard) or is extended unexpectedly then they send a Just Eat voucher to whoever is at home.

When DH ended up stuck away for 7 weeks unexpectedly they sent me a cheque in the post with a note saying they hope it could help with either meals or childcare or anything that made the unexpected extra time flying solo a wee bit easier.

They send the same to the sister of his co-worker because usually they split the care of their mum, but she was stuck away as well.

My DH’s workplace did this. He is in the police and it was a family recognition and gave a voucher towards a day out - everyone got one though.

Funny thing is, his shift work allows me to work full time and he does an equal (sometimes more) amount of childcare/housework!

My immediate thought would be the tax implications.

I’ve used LinkedIn for over 20 years and it’s now practically unusable as it’s awash with made up posts designed as clickbait.

Copy the first few lines, post it into LinkedIn’s search bar, and you’ll likely find dozens of other accounts have posted the exact same thing.

My thought too

I’m a single parent living with my 18 year old son.

I wonder if he would have received anything for his contribution to our home life. He can cook, do laundry, get around on his own…

As with a lot of these things, it's more complicated than perhaps the people who came up with it thought, and potentially a can of worms.
My DP and I used to have a lodger who worked long hours in a demanding job.
Between us we did the vast majority of the cooking, clearing up, food shopping and general mental load. Did we deserve a bonus? If not, why not?

Obviously?

Well intended but does not recognise modern life. Such as the 18 year old DS example.

my first thought was that maybe it was tax efficient - no idea though

Sounds very much like an attempted tax dodge to me.