Stop sending me holiday pictures!!!

[Butteryflydeployed]

It’s ok, I know I’m jealous. Raging green with envy. But I am sick of receiving holiday pictures from my parents.

They live in a £2million house in a desirable village. I know I am fortunate but I scrimp and save and have a 3 bed semi in town. It is just me on my own, so if I lose my job or something happens then there is no safety net. I try to save what I can, and am doing ok- but everything feels like a battle and a struggle. I haven’t had a holiday or weekend away for 2 years.

My parents are on yet another 5 star holiday. Fine. But I don’t need multiple pictures and videos every day. I am pleased they are enjoying themselves, but it does feel like they are rubbing my nose in it. I am trying to concentrate on work and getting photos of a breakfast platter. They aren’t interesting or exciting photos, or of experiences, they just seem gloating….this is what we’re up to now.

It’s just tone deaf and pissing me off.

Why not tell them what you told us? Yanbu

So tell them. They're not going to know otherwise.

"Hey guys, just the one photo a day is all I've got time for. I like the ones of you two together the best!"

Meanwhile I've got at least 2 FB relatives unfollowed for this very reason. They seem to go on 5 holidays a year and OMG I'm jealous.

Its definitely tone deaf

They do know. It isn’t difficult to see the income disparity or know that I haven’t been able to afford a holiday for a couple of years.

If I try and say something it will just be met with a “if you want to go on holiday, why don’t you just book it.” Or “Don’t be so horrible, of course we can send you photos, why you wouldn’t you be happy for us”.

Don't open them? don't open the messages, mute the notifications...

If you have siblings (or any family that you could add), can you set up a "holiday photos" WhatsApp group and then you can mute it or just scroll through every few days or whatever. Or suggest they put them on FB as that's where you see them most easily (and then ignore/hide for 30 days).

But yanbu, they don't sound very understanding or kind. When they say "why don't you book a holiday then?", don't you say "because I don't have enough money..."?

ETA or say "oh dear, I've dropped my mobile phone down the loo! Just waiting for a new one but I can't access WhatsApp or messages till then... ring the landline if anything urgent" and block them. And do it every time they're on holiday.

Can't you put them on snooze?

Just say these are making me feel pretty shit as we can’t afford a holiday. Glad you’re having a nice time but can you not send anymore?

Send them pictures too!

A picture of you theatrically in despair looking at your bank balance.
A sad face picture of you staring longingly into empty kitchen cupboards.
A picture of you and a pile of bills.

They're being dicks. Block them each time they go on holiday - be honest with them and tell them you're blocking them because they've got no care, consideration or empathy for anyone but themselves. Selfish arseholes!

I don't begrudge anyone a good time enjoying their money but I don't know how they can send you pictures like that knowing they could easily take you along with them once a year without it causing them any financial hardship.

They very much expect a response, and will moan if they don’t get lots of “how lovely” messages back.

If I were to say anything I would just get a telling off about how I am trying to ruin their holiday, and I should be happy for them.

I just want them to realise how tone deaf this all is. Should I really have to point out that I can’t afford a holiday, they know I haven’t been away for years.

It sounds like you should ask them for some money for a holiday.
I think that’s at the root of the anger.

I genuinely think you should btw. There’s far too much money being held in that generation, and given the inheritance tax trajectory they may as well start giving you money now.

At some point I’ll inherit a reasonably large sum but I’m passing it straight from my boomer parent to my DCs, I don’t want that money held up with me. They may as well have it.

Tell them to join Instagram, and put their photos on there. That's what social media was created for.

Then they can look back at them too.

I would just like the pics then at a later date eg in 2 weeks time say something like “my jobs going well at the moment and I do enjoy it but I am finding it really hard paying all the bills by myself. I could really do with a holiday but I have £5 in savings and my mot coming up so I know that I can’t” or whatever your personal version of that story is because some people either don’t see the obvious or pretend they don’t.
eg my mum pretends my sister is well off as she earns a good wage ignoring the fact that she has to live in a very expensive part of the country (long story why and out of her control). Plus she lost money in a relationship breakdown, again not her fault. So she has a part buy, part buy house and credit card debt due to house issues. I’ve told my mum this repeatedly (if I could help I would and have tried in the past but I’m not now in a position to.) but my mum insists she is well off.
So maybe your parents are stubborn and insist you are well off even though you know you aren’t. Or they might just be (deliberately) oblivious so I would just make sure you tell them a couple of times.
Then going forward you can wait 24 Hrs then like all the pics and just write one sentence like looks lovely. Hope you are having a great time.

You don't have to respond, you can choose not to engage. Just ignore and make no comments either way, they will stop sending them if they don't get the response they want.

They know. My mum is disabled and dad her carer their retirement taken from them by her ill heath and they are restricted to the front room of the house.
When I go on holiday I say nothing, I’m very fortunate I have 4/5 a year but I absolutely do not send pics unless it’s asked for it’s so insensitive.

I would tell them or mute the chat

My parents are a bit like this. I've set What'sApp so that the photos don't download automatically. So if they're spamming me I don't even need to look at the photos or react. It's like dealing with toddlers - ignore bad behaviour! 😉

They are at the time of life where they are enjoying the fruits of their labour. They may have struggled before you were born and presumably will think favourably of you in their will.

You are begrudgingly them their joy of being in gods health and having the financial freedom to travel and enjoy their lives together.

Don’t let your jealousy turn into bitter newness, your time will come when you are retired.

Send them pictures of the dullest things possible. Filing cabinets, computer keyboards etc. Obviously nothing that could get you into trouble with work

oh come on

No one can be that tone death, especially PARENTS

As a mum, I can't even imagine not to invite or offer at least one holiday (and have 4 for me instead of 5!). So sending a million
photos, it's weird

Mute. You're very busy. Other people's holiday photos are pointless, no matter who they are.

‘Omg I’m so jealous, next time just bring me along!!!!😍’

and send!

…or just be pleased that your parents are in good health, and enjoying themselves.

Just don't reply. Let them sulk.

I wouldn't engage at all. Mute them while they're away and ignore the moaning when they're back just couldn't be bothered with it.