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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think these people are toxic?

79 replies

WartFace · 09/06/2025 09:13

Newbie/lurker here hoping for clarity:
I’ve always felt uncomfortable around my bil. For a long time I blamed myself. My ds and I have a shared interest in a small property. We decided to sell and bil offered to do the marketing. He was rather casual about the whole thing and I found out that he’d failed to tell me something crucial. I lost my temper and said some fairly spiteful things to my ds. I know I should have kept calm and dealt with him directly but I didn’t.
She was incredibly angry with me and the whole thing escalated, leaving me utterly stunned. She took the opportunity to tell me everything I’ve ever done wrong, largely acts of omission plus a few made up offences. I tried and tried to defend myself but she wouldn’t hear me. I went nc for a while and felt better but we agreed to get back in tentative touch. Now she writes me letters every so often, as if nothing was ever said, very newsy and friendly but superficial. I’m very confused. What do people think? I’d be grateful for any perspective you have, thank you all!

OP posts:
WartFace · 09/06/2025 15:50

Have followed Dangermoo’s advice and reported this thread. I’ll try again. Hope you won’t all be bored to death X

OP posts:
pikkumyy77 · 09/06/2025 15:53

WartFace · 09/06/2025 12:15

Ok, fair enough. I’m sorry I simplified the story but it’s long and complicated. I accept what you say, thank you.
May I reword my question?

I think my sister is married to a toxic person, possibly a narcissist. We fell out over something he did and she was punishingly cruel to me.and won’t accept that. I feel that he’s damaged her and that she’s willing to hurt me badly rather than face up to things.
What should I do?

Nothing you can do. You won’t be able to maintain a separate relationship with your sister. She doesn’t want it and he won’t allow it.

WartFace · 09/06/2025 16:17

pikkumyy77 · 09/06/2025 15:53

Nothing you can do. You won’t be able to maintain a separate relationship with your sister. She doesn’t want it and he won’t allow it.

Thank you for that bleak but I fear accurate reply. I’ve s started a better named thread if you’re interested!

OP posts:
Mountainfrog · 09/06/2025 16:22

This reads like the storyline for flea bag

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