To be annoyed dh won’t accept gift of house deposit?

[tarplarp]

My in laws have kindly offered to gift us a house deposit/part of one. We currently rent and are looking for a more permanent home.

My in laws are lovely people, comfortably off but not rich. Them gifting us £50k would probably mean they have less of a financial buffer, but they wouldn’t need to sell up etc.

DH is flat out refusing and saying we can earn the deposit ourselves and he wants to be independent. Which I understand for sure - so I said why don’t we accept but pay your parents back in 2-3 years, which is how long it would probably take to get £50k.

His parents, his decision. You have no say in the matter.
He knows them way better than you and he is counting this gift could backfire somehow.
Support your husband on his decision and that is the end of it.

It sounds like he knows they can't really afford it. Just because they don't have to sell their house to gift it (that would be insane), doesn't mean they can spare it.

If you can save 50k in two years then stick with that plan.

He must have a reason for not wanting to use their money.

Take it as an interest free loan and pay them back if and when you can, obviously prioritise if they need the money, even re-mortgage in the future when you have equity. We borrowed off my PILs to help with our first house deposit and paid them back a few years later.

Maybe he does not a favour because he knows there could be strings attached or he just doesn’t want to take such large some of money from parents who are not rich themselves. In either case, he is not unreasonable. If you can save in 2-3 years, then why take this favour?

In the middle of all the posts saying similar things you may sadly miss my post saying there are other ways they can help you. It's still a favour as their money is at risk - but if you can pay the mortgage in 3 years they get their money back.

There are different names for these products. I listed 2 earlier, here's a 3rd one. https://www.barclays.co.uk/mortgages/family-springboard-mortgage/

Sorry, yes fraud rather than perjury
The reason they don't like is that the person giving the loan would be seen as owning a stake in the house, without any legal obligation being signed to the bank.

Thats partly why buy to let mortgages or more expensive - they are inherently more risky to the bank as after a certain time frame the tenants can claim they have paid towards the mortgage and have a stake in the property. I had to get permission from the bank to even let a room out in my flat as that person could have a stake in my property.

We’re not rich but were able to give both ours a deposit contribution with absolutely no strings attached- it does happen !
What are your husbands actual reasons for not wanting to do this rather than just saying he wants to be independent. It would make a difference to me if I knew exactly why I think

Interesting that OP hasn’t been back to answer this which others have asked too, and is a big part of the puzzle.