To ask if you have met somebody long term from OD?

[JustNoseyy]

Just that really, how did you know it would work, how did the conversation start? How soon did you meet them? I have been on a few dates but nobody I am massively in to. Maybe I am just not ready yet (been single a year after a 17 year relationship). All the conversations just seem to fizzle out.

I met my husband on there 7.5 years ago. The key thing that was different about him compared to other dates or those of my friends, was that he treated me kindly and respectfully from the first message. No sex talk too soon or trying to steer conversations that way. Just a genuine interest in finding common ground and good chat. And that lack of sexual pushiness/innuendo continued in person until we’d been on a few dates and established a mutual attraction.

I think you will get different answers depending on how long ago people were on there. I know lots of people who successfully met someone online 10-20 years ago but no-one recently. I personally found that people are now really lazy and don’t put in any effort, either with conversation, meeting up or genuinely engaging with anyone and usually seem to just want an ego boost or some dirty messages. It definitely wasn’t as bad years ago.

I found someone who quickly, but I absolutely rinsed the apps. I paid for a subscription because I was running out of swipes within 10 minutes and I dedicated 45 minutes a day to just swiping profiles.

I made a point of messaging every single match. If I got a one word message back or something sleazy I binned them straight away. And within 2 days was moving to a coffee meet. You suggest face to face and it quickly weeds out the penpals.

I have friends who have been doing OLD for years. But I think if you just do a couple of minutes every few days it doesn’t work. Someone who matches you if you don’t see them for 5 days is going to go cold, fall off the app, meet someone else; you start to see old profiles that are no longer active.

I met DH on Bumble 7 years ago and we’re now happily married with 2 kids and a dog! Before him I had 3 longish relationships (over a year) from OLD and met plenty of other nice people where we weren’t compatible for whatever reason but they’d be great for someone else.
It does take a bit of searching and a lot of tedious messaging/rubbish dates to find the right person though

Met my partner 7 years ago on Tinder. Fancied him from his pics, had a few dates and it feels like he just never went home!
Two DCs later and we’re doing great.
Waded through absolute grotbags before him though. 😂

Met my husband on there. I was on there about 2 years and had a few short term flings before him. I mainly used it to chat to people of a night time because I was a single mum, bit lonely and it kept me company. I didn't really approach it seriously and wasn't really looking for anything long term. I had lots of interest but I didn't bother meeting the vast majority in person. My now husband really surprised me, there were no mind games, he made it clear from the start he wanted me and my kids and that we came as a package. I could not wish for anyone better. He's gorgeous, kind, hard working family man.

Absolutely nothing wrong with feeling happy with yourself and being happy in your own company.

So why waste my time swiping for people I’m not interested in?

I don’t want to go on numerous dates with men I’m not attracted to or don’t have anything in common with.

Thats a waste of everyone’s time imo

Yeah XH starting messaging within days of us splitting, first date a month later. I joined OLD 5 months after we split but I wasn’t really ready until I met DP after almost a year.

It’s not about going on dates with men you’re not interested in. The numbers people are referring to are the number of profiles you need to churn through to find the suitable men.

You can get really good at spotting tells on profiles for no hopers so you don’t have to get to the chat stage.

Met my partner online. We’ve been together 3 years; have a baby together. We chatted via the app and then WhatsApp for a couple of weeks and then met up and had a date every week for a few months; then became more frequent and moved in together last year, baby born last Nov.

As I said I very rarely swipe right on anyone so it’s not that I’m not ‘churning through’ profiles. I got to point where I’d run out of profiles to view within a 50 mile radius and barely had a match.

Im nearly 60 though so the pickings are very very slim

Exactly that. I only had one face to face date before I met my bloke but there were loads of interactions that either fizzled out or one of us called time on.

Yes, we met on an app that was specifically for casual sex 😂 He asked me for a drink pretty quick and we just really clicked straight away. Neither of us were looking for a relationship but you meet the right person when you least expect it.

That’s so true. I met some great blokes years ago on OLD. Then I watched the whole thing deteriorate massively over a 10+ year period (and that was going back 10 years ago).

The last experience I had with it about five years ago was awful - and I have no doubts that it’s gone downhill even more since then. For many women, it will be just be grim, fruitless and soul destroying.

I met my current partner on OD. Weve been together just over a year now. All the other men i dated were absolutely awful. I'd lost hope tbh. I have two kids from my previous relationship and so does he.
We chatted for a couple of weeks then started meeting on dates. Knew pretty early on it would go the distance.
Don't give up, theres the odd needle in that haystack to be found.

Met my partner 6 years ago on pof. Originally rejected him based on picture but just got chatting anyway and then he came to help me put some flatpack up… ended up really fancying him!!

Met my partner on Bumble a couple of years ago, getting married next year. We're absolutely perfect for each other, loads of the 'important' stuff in common. It'll be the second marriage for both of us. I'd say it's a numbers game and you have to be clear in your own head about what you're looking for and have strong boundaries. We had both been on lots of dates previously. There are so many time wasters and players on there, just got to weed them out quickly!

I met my dh on tinder over 9 years ago, we’ve just celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary.

We started talking about a shared hobby, met within 2 weeks and were exclusive after about 2 months. The conversation never dried out, I remember laughing so much on our second date I was in tears (proper belly laughing). He was kind and considerate right from the get go (still is). I’d been single for about 5 years and was happy in my own skin, we both were as he’s been single for a similar amount of time. I like to think we just met at the right time for us both.

I’ve been OLD on and off for about seven years now. One short relationship (4 months - he ended it) and one longer (18 months - I ended it.) No invitations/blind dates/intros outside of OLD. Like a pp, some friends think I’m too quick to judge, should give hopeless-looking men a chance, standards are too high, I give off the wrong vibes …

The last date I was on was February, and, despite great phone chats in advance, I spent an exhausting and disagreeable evening trying to fend off increasingly personal questions, and when leaving the restaurant (my invitation, I paid, and I wrapped up the evening saying I wasn’t having a good time) he unexpectedly forcibly kissed me. So when (some) friends tell me my standards are too high, I think about my precious free time and am quite happy to have very high standards about how and with whom I spend my Saturday nights.

Would you go to somebody’s house for the first time you meet them. I have been talking to a doctor and he is quite reassuring but I don’t know what to do. He has asked me to come over tonight. The only thing is, he doesn’t drink, like at all, o love sharing a bottle of wine with somebody

Yeah, I agree with your theory. I met DH on good old Guardian Soulmates 15 years ago. I was on and off online dating for a couple of years before that, always met perfectly nice people even if it didn't necessarily go anywhere. I wouldn't bother with OLD now, friends' experiences suggest it's a cesspit.

Absolutely not! WTF. He could be anyone, OP.

No decent, genuine man would ask you to do that, either.

I bet you any money he's not a doctor, either.