To be upset that a woman is sending DH these messages?

[Simonesaid1]

Last week while we were spending the evening watching TV my dh got a text message from a colleague with that has concerned me and I can’t stop thinking about it.
They work together, have done for 2 years and finished a joint project presentation last Tuesday. That evening she messaged to tell him it’s so fantastic working with him, she couldn’t imagine coming into the office every day if it wasn’t for him being there too, making her laugh and how he makes her day. She said how much loves their chats and values and appreciates him.
i asked him but he played it down but did look a bit uncomfortable. I doubt a male colleague would message him the same thing?
AIBU to feel concerned about this woman’s feelings about my dh and that this is maybe the start of something more than just colleagues/friends?
There’s a work social next weekend that we’re going to so I will meet her. Already feeling uncomfortable about seeing this woman.

Fantastic, makes her laugh, makes her day, values and appreciates him, loves their chat, couldn’t work there without him…

@Simonesaid1, I’ve been thinking about her intense flattery, their messaging all the time out of work, and how protective of his phone he is. She really lays it on thick. This was beyond out of order, yet she had no qualms about cozying up to him with adoration. It’s like she knew he’d enjoy her gushing over him.

Boundaries are being blurred, so I would try to get a look at his phone. Definitely watch carefully at the work social, but know that she/they will likely keep a friendly distance and tone down the flirty banter with spouses there.

Have you said any more to him about her?

We had a major inspection last year at work, I wouldn't say this at work but tbh I knocked it out of the park. My boss is the only person more senior than me in our area so there was a lot of pressure on both of us. After the first week he text me saying he was so thankful he had me by his side, that I was an extremely impressive individual and he didn't know how he would've got through it without me, made a reference to a shared in joke with a smile emoji and said after it was done (we had another two weeks to go!) he'd take us both for a large drink to celebrate. There wasn't and never has been a hint of anything inappropriate between us, we are both happily with our partners. So if this is just a one off after the adrenaline of something at work that is really important I wouldn't think anything of it.

Good point. Asking him bow he would feel if a man sent that to him or you.

I also work in an environment like this! We work in very difficult circumstances in the justice system with the cars no one else wants to touch. It's emotionally and psychologically very difficult, you have to build each other up!

You heard the message as it was a voice sent one. Or heard as in the beep of text tone arrival

either way if he is protective of his phone you know there may be issues

go to the event. Check her out. Mention casually in front of her and her dh that dh showed you or saw /heard the message and say glad you enjoy working together

Totally agree!

Maybe it’s best just to be direct with your dh: if this carries on our marriage is over. What is it to be? I am not going to stand by and watch you conduct an emotional affair right in front of me.

He cuts his ties, looks for a new job urgently and saves his family or it’s over.

First sentence is OK, the rest is wildly inappropriate for work (even if both single, its really not healthy to need another person for you to come into work or get through the day etc). He shouldn't be friends with someone who messages him like this, his reactions clearly indicate to her that its acceptable

Your boss fancies you.

If he was genuinely made uncomfortable by these messages (rather than by your finding out about them), it would be right for him to have a discreet chat with HR to protect himself.

His reply makes it seem he's encouraging this. He's possibly spending a lot of work time having a banter, a flirt and a giggle, allowing himself to be made much of, sharing lunches and coffee breaks with an attractive colleague. Plenty of married men like this in the workplace. Ugh.