Cafe’s reply to my review - is it any wonder places are struggling?

[KatieWa]

I reviewed a lovely cafe I visited last week whilst on holiday in Devon. I was really complimentary about the breakfast and said we found the service to be friendly and efficient. My review ended by suggesting the sign above the door isn’t overly appropriate - it stated ‘nobody leaves sober’. As someone who has a family member who has had numerous alcohol issues over the years I found this poor taste, and diplomatically worded this in the review.

The owner (publicly) replied to my review and said that’s the first feedback they’ve ever had about the sign and suggested everyone else has had a sense of humour when they’ve seen it.

I don’t think it’s a situation to make light of - is it any wonder the sector is on its knees struggling currently with this sort of attitude from a business owner?

Yeh that's what I took it to mean too

Aye you do sound a barrel of laughs to be fair

Get a grip.

The sign sounds a bit tacky, but just one of those naff "haha, we're all jolly types" things that you see on a million mugs and greetings cards.
It's like the higher ups where I work who (in an effort to make themselves more relatable) make frequent throwaway comments about how we "all" like a glass of wine to relax after work. Well, no actually a lot of us don't because of alcoholism in our families, or ourselves, or because of our religion. But they don't mean anything by it, it's a little thoughtless and tedious, but it's not malicious.

There's a lot of triggered alcoholics in this thread.

How petty of you to even mention it in your review.

Sober also just means solemn...that's how I'd read it.

It’s always interesting how defensive the replies are on threads like this. OP you are correct and the owner’s response isn’t appropriate. Fine to say they hadn’t had that feedback before, not fine to then imply you don’t have a sense of humour.

"Going on a Mary Whitehouse crusade" is a bit of a reach from a minor constructive point raised in an overall positive online review. Seems like you are prone to hyperbole like the cafe owner. If anything would stop me going in a place it would be a chippy comment from the proprietor, not the existence of the actual sign.

Have you written to your MP?

🤣 please lighten up! It’s just a sign with a play on words and a cafe owner stating that everyone gets the joke but the OP.

If you don’t like something about a retail outlet or cafe/ restaurant then don’t go there and spend your money.

You’ve taken offence to something that no one else has ever mentioned to them before. That sign might just be one of a number of quirks that makes that cafe different. Why should they bend themselves out of shape just for you?

Yet you are the one using hyperbole, taking personal offence, and making ad hominem comments at someone mildly disagreeing with you on the internet.

I hope you don't run a café 🤔

There's a lot of triggered sober (by either definition) people on this thread.

How is leaving constructive feedback in a positive review "taking offence"?

Someone disagreeing with something doesn't mean they are offended.

You're welcome

😂🤣
Amazing how they managed to have a house in the first place when their paperwork would've been scrawled with squiffy writing! Or how they managed to have jobs that allowed them to get/keep a mortgage! How incredible.

P.S you do know that when you buy a house, you're not also buying the owners? Once you've bought the house, they go. They go and live/buy somewhere else.
HTH (I can't guarantee they'd take the sign with them though. Sometimes people leave things like that. So you totally might have ended up stuck with it)!

I don't think it's condescending, I think it is the majority of people will think nothing of the sign, where as, if you bring this up in a review of a business, it has an affect upon the business. Where as the sign is nothing to do with what the cafe actually does, but if one person takes offense at this sign, mentions it in a review, that negative gets multiplied by 10 fold or more, thus unduly, potentially, influencing that business.

It's a sign - meant to be amusing that's it - if you don't find it amusing that's your opinion, but and this I think is where the difference comes with the 'lighten up' section. If everything and individual is displeased of, then gets mentioned in reviews showing the negative that the individual has 'experienced' then it's classified as a negative review. We have a right to our opinions and views, but the idea that everything written can also be taken out of context, and understanding any trigger which the individual may have is personal to them, and shouldn't be used in a review, especially when it's as inoffensive as a sign.
This thread is an example of how uptight some people are about 'its my right' or 'my family suffered badly over this' - that's your personal experience, what about the millions who haven't suffered - are their opinions or values any less important than yours? Live and let live.

Can I ask whether the sogn would have stopped you from going again? Of not then it was unnecessary feedback, a bit like commenting on the menu font.

I appreciate things are hard for alcoholics but the world doesn't revolve around them. If alcohol is that problematic, they should be avoiding places woth alcohol as its reasonable that those places might have alcohol jokes.

I sign like that is just not funny so pointless to have it..

But you don’t go to a cafe to get drunk do you? Like you maybe would with a pub.

It's a sign, not a legal contract.
No one is obliged to drink because of it.
Don't like it? Inwardly roll your eyes and get on with your life.

You are being ridiculous and need a hobby.

I don't know anyone affected by alcoholism. I still think the sign is rubbish.

Not sure I would comment on it in a review myself, but the OP has the right to express her views and the café owner has the right to disagree.

But what the café posted in reply would give me a reason to consider whether to bother going there.

That's the point of the thread, the chippy response, not whether the OP was right to comment or whether the sign is funny, sad, inappropriate etc.

So for me YADNBU, OP. As others have said , the reply should be along the lines of "Thank you for your kind comments. In respect of the sign, it's the first feedback we've had and will reflect on it."

That means the cafe owner can think about it and don't have to take it down.

But talking about a sense of humour failure in response to a mild constructive point makes them sound rather defensive and lacking resilience for a grown ass adult. Or they themselves could do with "leaving sober" at least while they do their admin.

Imagine if you sent your food back- I'd worry you might get it tipped over your head.

Yes everyone has the right to, but, and this is the point...... is it relevant to what the business is doing? It's this i have a right to my opinion and post whatever, and not thinking of the consequences, the context and is it relevant.
Let's say it was lovely food, but the makeup on the waitress was appaling and the short skirt, well it left nothing to the imagination. Now is that anything to do with the food the cafe served? Nope, but people will get on high horses stating sexism etc.., on opinion is an opinion, not a review.