40 year old man - spoilt by mummy

[Profpudding]

If this was your son, what would you make of it?
Just spotted my younger 40-year-old brother on holiday with his mother.
Alone
He has six children and he couldn’t have taken one of them with him.
He would’ve only been paying for airfare, Parents cover everything else when they get there so we’re actually saying that it didn’t cross anybody’s mind. To invite the children.
I would also point out that these kids have probably never had a holiday in their life. They’ve been raised in absolute poverty due to his lack of contribution generally.
If that was my son, I’d be kicking him up the arse not buying him an ice cream
Oh, and he does work.

I totally get your resentment at this situation, especially if she is also your mother and perhaps deep down you feel unfavourably treated in comparison to him? Your post isn’t clear about whether she is also your mother so Im sorry if I’ve got this wrong.
He sounds like a feckless useless father but the holiday issue is kind of separate. Also we don’t know enough to really make a judgement. We don’t know what level of contact he has with the kids (if it’s little or none then taking them on holiday would hardly make much sense or be in their interests would it?), what contact they have with each other (so therefore how they would perceive him taking one kid and not the others), whether he’s a suitable person to be taking them on holiday and whether their mothers would be happy with it. Maybe the budget of whoever was paying didn’t stretch to including children. He works but holidays are expensive? If mother chose to fund it all that’s really her look out although I suspect there is a reason you’ve gone no contact. If that’s what’s happened here.
It would be better for you to let go of your bitterness and resentment and leave them all to their shitty devices.

This type of thinking is what allows these feckless, selfish, pathetic men get away with it in the first place.

OF COURSE OP can judge, as can the rest of us. Might make these sperm donors sit up and think more if people showed their true disgust to them

Where do you get "unemployed" from. OP was clear in her post that "he does work". Did you not read this?

Especially if it came from his own mother but, What can you do apparently?

"the female"? 😒

Who is paying for their upkeep? Is it the taxpayer? 😡

Obviously

That’s not obvious at all, their mothers could easily be working.

Misread. It happens. I apologise but there’s no need for you to point it out quite so aggressively…

makes no difference to my point. He’s fine to have a holiday, fine that it’s with his parents, fine that he’s not taken all (any of) his kids. Not fine he doesn’t contribute

Let's hope that your brother who unfortunately cannot cope, did not or does not manage to "cope" with creating six pregnancies with different women. There's no excuse for that. Hoping your DB is not similar in his behaviour to OP's anti social irresponsible deadbeat B.

They aren’t.
Just because the mother’s only have two children with him each does not mean that was the end of their parenting journey.

Maybe they’re not working but it’s far from obvious that they’re not. There are tens of thousands of single parents who work.

Well, they’re not the subject of this discussion.

But they could be. You’re just determined to paint the mothers of those children as feckless scroungers.

Honestly, I couldn’t care less whether they claim benefits or not. Far as I’m concerned, the father should be paying for them. He could afford the First Two if he couldn’t afford the subsequent 345 and six, then they shouldn’t have been born.
What the mothers do is have no interest to me. They are not my relatives.
It’s hardly not feckless though to have additional children with somebody that doesn’t see the first two or the first four no pay for any of them.

This reads like you are bitter and jealous he got a free holiday. Its nothing to do with you, mind your own business.

If you're bothered about his kids being neglected then call social services. But that isn't really what this post is about, is it.

If my brother went on holiday with my parents I'd think nothing of it, I'd say have a lovely time, send me photos.

Ahhh the old bitter and jealous gaslighting

If he's not with the mum, presumably this is her contact time, so no he shouldn't be taking the children anywhere?

What their mum does in her free time is not the dad's concern and vice versa.

You hating your mum and your brother, and them having gone away together and the pictures winding you up, I would suggest is an entirely separate issue.

There are three mums in this case. The brother likes to spread his seed.

To be fair their mums could be working. It's not necessarily the case that they're all sat on full benefits..by your own admission you've not even met the two youngest kids their mum could've got herself a job-its not impossible. I'm a single parent myself and don't sit on benefits

To be fair what the mothers do or don’t do is absolutely irrelevant to this conversation.

The First Two for the time that I knew them were on benefits and, what else were they supposed to do given the circumstances?
That may have changed it may not again. It has absolutely nothing to do. With the issue hand

To be fair what the mothers do or don’t do is absolutely irrelevant to this conversation.

It isn’t. You said they were “obviously” funded by the taxpayer. You can’t suddenly say it’s irrelevant when it suits you.

Yes, I can.
I replied specifically to one poster and answered their specific question.
That does not change the course of the whole conversation

Then it's "mums" not mum.

Makes little difference to the principle of non contact time.

Not been on MN long,have you?