40 year old man - spoilt by mummy

[Profpudding]

If this was your son, what would you make of it?
Just spotted my younger 40-year-old brother on holiday with his mother.
Alone
He has six children and he couldn’t have taken one of them with him.
He would’ve only been paying for airfare, Parents cover everything else when they get there so we’re actually saying that it didn’t cross anybody’s mind. To invite the children.
I would also point out that these kids have probably never had a holiday in their life. They’ve been raised in absolute poverty due to his lack of contribution generally.
If that was my son, I’d be kicking him up the arse not buying him an ice cream
Oh, and he does work.

Oh i do know.

but yes, things can be a logistical nightmare when you have that many children with that many mothers but that’s kind of what you sign up for when you create the situation isn’t it?

Not wanting to criticise other women, but if you are the third or fourth in a line, then it's also what the mother has knowingly signed up to. He had shown his true colours six times.

Your brother's choices are not reasonable but it generally takes two to make a baby and contraception is definitely something the female can take control over in this day and age.

He sounds like a right prick

Being able to put your sperm inside a woman isn’t an indicator of anything other than the ability to maintain an erection momentarily. Clearly your brother is an immature, underdeveloped, weak man with arrested development. He hasn’t grown into manhood let alone fatherhood.

What a deadbeat. Yeah, he can go on holiday with his parents but I'd be judging him too when his kids are living in poverty. He couldn't even be a Disney dad and take them on holiday with the grandparents, he sounds like the kind of guy that would palm the kids off on his mum, too. I find it repulsive how many men there are out there actively choosing to play no role in the lives of their children. Absolute manchild.

It's them. 100%

Is his mother your mother?

Thought you said he has 6 kids? He sounds absolutely pathetic.

Thats a different poster

Anyone who has 6 kids, unless they earn a shit load of money, is a waster in my book. It reeks of a lack of responsibility. Going on holiday with his mother is the least of his negative traits!

I don't know, I think you either take all your children or none. You don't pick one or two to take. It sounds like your brother has been spoiled by your parents and isn't a great parent. It's a shame for his children but I doubt they'll have much time for him as they grow older!

All six of them have never been in a room together.
But even so would cost £600 max to take them all

I hope she’s lucky, then. But I doubt if she will be. I hate to think how many deadbeat men I know who sponge off their parents all their lives, but won’t do a thing for thei parents in return when they’re old and need help.

I’d be so ashamed.

Oh how I would laugh if the golden child did abandon her, You reap what you sow

What type of holiday costs £600 for 6 kids 🥴 it’ll cost way more than that! It doesn’t seem like you have kids yourself.
Your brother sounds like a loser but at the same time that’s his life. If he wants to hang out with your mum then that’s up to him.
Whats the situation with your mum to make you dislike her so much? Must be a back story here.
if I had 6 kids I’d 100% need a holiday and i wouldn’t be taking the kids. Kids don’t normally care if they are in the local leisure centre or in Barbados esp if they are young. Lots of kids never travel until they become adults!

Well he has done alot of sowing

I think you should mind your own business. His mum can pay for him to have a holiday if she wishes he may be struggling in a way you have no idea about or she is.

I’ll confess I’ve not read all your updates (I’m running around after kids myself this morning just having 5mins sit down before work)

Think I read he isn’t with the children’s mother, that has an impact on my opinion. I’ve five children with my ex husband and another two with my now forever husband. My ex husband can go on holiday whenever he likes (and he does) without the children. Nor would I think it’s fair only choosing one child over the others to go with. It’s a case they all go or none, it’s that simples. How would the others feel being left behind? It would hurt more seeing him take one than non going. As for maintenance and paying for their everyday cost of living and helping financially I think that’s the sinful part. My ex husband didn’t for years and it was a huge struggle and often if the kids are doing without their mum is doing without a lot more whether that is essentials for herself or losing out on quality time with the children because they are working often three times as hard to put food on table etc and when she won’t be at work she’ll be too tired to actually enjoy and cherish that time. That’s the same if kids live with dad and mum isn’t fulfilling their financial obligation.

i didn’t scroll enough to see if there is a post saying how your relationship is with the kids mum and your nephew and nieces, but I’d say only thing you can really do is try and have a positive relationship in their lives on your own offer support for them children as their auntie xx

Why does it bother you so much? He might be a deadbeat dad, but his holiday is no one else’s business.

He sounds like an absolute deadbeat, but the holiday thing is neither here nor there and is an odd thing to focus on. Sounds impractical to take six children with different mothers on holiday and frankly if the father of my child was so disengaged I don’t think I’d let him take them.

If grandma doesn’t see the GC it’s highly unlikely she’d be whisking any of the six away on holiday. That’s not where you’d start to build a relationship.

Yes he’s a deadbeat but he’s 40, he’s not going to change. Keep your distance and don’t let it bother you or even enter your head.

Unless you are being an active aunt to any of the six? Up to you if you weren’t of course, but it is a tiny bit pot/kettle if you’re criticising grandma and not involved yourself.

You’ve just identified the issue, he can’t just choose one. I assume they’re probably from various women so that would cause uproar if he took one and not the other five. Even if they’re from the same women it may still cause outrage or hurt if he picked one and not the others.

Not defending him in general btw, I feel men who don’t pay for their children and play an active role in their life are terrible human beings and I wouldn’t have anything to do with one of them.

It's several mums @BeWittyRobin

@Profpudding why do you follow your brother and mum on social media?

Maybe none of the DC would want to go with him if he’s such a deadbeat dad?
my own DS struggles with going away with his dad for an extended period and he spends at least one overnight with him per week.
if your DB doesn’t have a close bond they prob struggle even more