To ask if boys can wear coloured gingham school shorts?

[Makingitupaswegoalong]

DS starting school in September. I’ve never liked the grey boys’ school shorts. I think they’re horrible.

Could a boy wear the shorts version of the summer dresses in the warmer months? The ones like this:
https://direct.asda.com/george/school/shorts/light-blue-girls-gingham-longer-length-school-shorts/G008057152,default,pd.html?redirectFromInt=1&cmpid=ppc--geor-------_-dskwid-_dm&utm_campaign=pla:Fashion-School-_Performance_Max&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=17501196607&gbraid=0AAAAADt8Wcm1oMWVYoBrMZRAaJmY4OxHM&gclid=Cj0KCQjwgIXCBhDBARIsAELC9ZgYG9pdeZibdgD76_xniRBLDqnyyvZArL9DdLA7VsYiWE5zGC1CWE0aAkIFEALw_wcB

The little boys round here wear a lot of brightly coloured patterned leggings.

Why couldn’t they were these shorts? Are they obviously girly? Would people bully him or think we were weird? I just think they’re nicer.

I’m glad 😊 It’s the little things that all add up. Those messages are out there, both directly like Easter Egg dad and sometimes more indirectly. Nobody’s given a list of stereotypes when they start school and are able to read. They absorb them from all around. My son actually asked for a Barbie, so I got him one, but if he hadn’t asked and we’d just been looking at toys or something, I’d have made sure the message he got was that boys can play with any toys and that there’s nothing wrong with a boy playing with dolls or liking sewing or whatever. He also knows that colours are for everyone and that we don’t have ‘boy colours’ and ‘girl colours’. Subtle shifts in the way we talk and present things can have a big effect.

As I said, these are tiny little adjustments in the way we/our children think. They then build to bigger things like jobs. A child who knows boys can wear any colour, play with dolls,,etc, is more likely to be accepting of the idea that men can be nursery school teachers, nurses, dancers, etc.

No, you’re missing the point. I’d already addressed that earlier.

The tutu is an excellent point.
Ballet and most dance classes are seen as 'girl' things but male dancers do not wear the same clothing as female dancers.

Even in Scottish Highland dancing the male dancers have hats, sporans that the females don't and they have different jackets to the females.

But if people want change they need to influence their men folk, not the wee boys just starting primary school.

Showing my age here but once I see someone like Brian May or Axl Rose walk out in a pair of pale blue gingham shorts then I'll accept pale blue gingham is for boys!

The target audience for Barbie is age 3-12. A pre- school boy running about with a Barbie,why not? I can't imagine gaming boys within this age group messing about with a Barbie doll

I’m a primary school teacher, and our very standard, middle-England state school is actually pretty open-minded where uniform is concerned: any child can wear anything on the uniform list, regardless of gender. Lots of our boys wear cardigans designed for girls, and lots of girls wear shorts that are purchased in the boys’ section of whatever outfitter/supermarket they come from. No one bats an eyelid.

However, I would add that it’s important to understand that this is part of the culture at our particular school… lots of kids engage in wearing non-gender traditional items, so it’s very normal for their classmates. Secondly the reason they choose these is largely for convenience- some boys appreciate the fact that the cardigans are easier to take on and off, and the girls seem to like the knee-length ‘boy’ shorts for running around in.

The whole point of uniform is that it’s not a fashion thing- it’s meant to be plain, mundane, pedestrian, practical- and that’s the issue that I would have with the OP’s original question: what’s her motivation for wanting her child, regardless of gender, to wear gingham shorts? Uniform is a chance to let kids escape the fashion parade whilst they are young… to play and have fun in tough, hard-wearing clothes. Save the gingham shorts for the weekend.

Ps. Sorry, I should add that unlike most posters on this thread I think primary school aged children are often very kind. I don’t think wearing different coloured shorts automatically leads to bullying.

I also don’t think saying uniform is meant to be plain and practical is ‘fascist’, as the OP put it, I personal think it’s a good idea for children to be afforded a level playing-field. In our school there is a very broad range of incomes, so wearing a uniform helps every child to be the same as their peers whilst at school. And there are loads of chances at own clothes days, dress-up days, discos etc where they can express themselves!

Excellent posts & welcome thoughts from a school Teacher.I feel there is a vast difference though between boys wearing cardigans instead of jumpers & girls wearing boy shorts, (all very acceptable) & boys being sent to school in gingham summer shorts & dresses which some posters appear to support.

I also think most primary school aged children are kind... but it would be naive to believe that no child says things that are mean, whether intentionally, or because they are curious and learning and sometimes don't say things in the most sensitive manner. That doesn't mean to say I think they are bullies.
I gave some actual examples earlier, and can think of many many more, from years of being a parent and working with children.
Similarly to you, I see boys wearing cardigans (my ds does), girls wearing grey shorts (my dd's wore ones from the 'boys' section), little boys dressing up in princess dresses in the role play corner, little girls dressing up as knights etc. I do still think that the pair of shorts in the op's post look like a girls school uniform... because when I have seen them worn (especially with the matching blouse)... they look like the school summer dresses. As others have said, if the child chooses them, then that's one thing... and of course it would be right to be supportive of that choice, but if it's because the mum wants her son to wear them, then I'd question whether it is a good idea or being done for the right reasons.

Kurt Cobain wore a dress quite a lot.

Youngblood wears one frequently.

So we’re good with blue gingham, yes?

Both have severe mental health problems.

Random little four year old boys are not Kurt Cobain.

And things didn’t exactly end well for him anyway.

If ever there was a caution to “step away from the gingham” I think that might be it.

These celebrity lifestyles might seem cool from a distance but it’s an immature model for anyone to have for their child.

Kurt Cobain committed suicide over 30 years ago. And had MH issues so maybe not a good example to follow.

My Google of Youngblood (who are they) didn't bring up any dresses.

here’s a link from men’s style bible, GQ: https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/culture/article/yungblud-dress-gq-hype

I’d argue that Kurt Cobain, despite his troubles (don’t do smack, kids) is a better role model than Axl Rose, who was purportedly very nasty to women.

But I assume you get my point that many rock stars have worn ‘girls’ clothes.

🤣

you really don’t like anyone challenging gender stereotypes, do you?

please don’t do that to him for his first experience of school. It will look like you’ve accidentally bought the wrong thing. He will be a talking point (at worst, bullying) for all the wrong reasons. It’s nit you that’s wearing the shorts - it’s him. Just put him in the grey ones to start with and if he objects, try changing them. I’m sure he’ll be fine in them.

I was in Costa a bit after Easter and they still had the Easter gingerbread biscuits, chicks with pink/blue icing. A little lad just picked up the first one on the rack (pink) and his dad (I assume) immediately said no you don't want that one, it's for girls, have the blue one at the back" The lad wasn't bothered but I was just like... It's a biscuit, he's little more than a toddler, it'll be gobbled up before it gets chance to turn him into a girl 🤣

On the other hand I do think as they get older they're exposed to a bit more to "playground talk" and also just their own personal tastes get more solid. My son is 5.5 and he'll happily choose the pink sprinkles donut, the cuddly teddy, play in home corner and bake whilst also loving monster trucks, mud, somehow turning every stick into a gun despite us never doing that with him or letting him watch media with guns etc.

But at the same time, he picks his own clothes now (he's autistic and struggles with fabrics/fits so much I have to have him with me to try stuff or I'm forever returning things) And he knows what he likes! He's not into sports, super heroes or Minecraft but LOVES anything "spooky" and pirates (he's obsessed with scooby doo), monsters etc so he gravitates towards "rock" clothes (he loves listening to classic rock music!) so skulls, dragons, graffiti type designs are a big hit. He wouldn't want to wear stuff from the girls section - not because we've drummed it into him "that's not for you" but because, well, he just wouldn't want to.

He can see how the kids at school dress and while he does stand out a bit because he's not in camo trousers or Minecraft shirts, it's his choice and his little friends all tell eachother how cool they look on non uniform day!

His 2 best friends are a girl and a boy (they were all at nursery together) and he always says I bet X will wear a nice dress (and she always is) and Y will wear something with Spiderman on (which they do) do you think they'll like my PIRATE RIDING A SHARK T-SHIRT, MUM?? 🤣

I think I've lost my track a bit here, but I think I'm trying to say, it's fine if kids want to wear whatever, but they don't exist in a bubble and that's ok too.

Honestly I don't give a stuff about boys and girls 'things' and was a bit disappointed at how quickly my daughter latched onto a doll that she saw at her cousins house. I hated traditionally girly things and still do.
But honestly kids like what they like, and at this age you just go with what they want it changes every 5 minutes anyway.
The intensity of the gender politics agenda that you seem to be applying to 5 year olds is just bizarre and says more about you than it does about them.
I think you are just enjoying winding people up.

Only if you want to start his school life by breaking uniform rules and him being singled out .

What a silly question.

I’m not applying it to 5 years olds, though, am I? I’m engaging in a thread to call out grown adults upholding regressive and damaging gender stereotypes.

So whatever you think that ‘says about me’, I honestly don’t care.

You’ve repeatedly tried to bully me off this thread - calling me a troll is just the latest.

I can’t control how people react to having their misogyny challenged 🤷

@ Dumbdog, what is the difference to grown adults that uphold regressive and damaging ageist stereotypes? You seem quite happy to post them

Like ageism.

Same -last year my sons school had fancy dress from Halloween and he went dressed as Wednesday in the full black party dress and received so much positive attention and compliments and no bullying at all! I did ask if he was sure he wanted to wear it at school and he was sure he did so I allowed it (sent other outfits with him just incase) but he loved it and so did everyone else. Oh and he was 8 last year.

Fancy dress is completely different from daily wear

Of course most children are kind but they're inquisitive too and will ask why he's wearing girl shorts.

Both my DS love dolls. In general small children are fascinated by babies. They see their mums and dads both looking after them and their siblings. Dolls are definitely not just a girls toy.