To ask if boys can wear coloured gingham school shorts?

[Makingitupaswegoalong]

DS starting school in September. I’ve never liked the grey boys’ school shorts. I think they’re horrible.

Could a boy wear the shorts version of the summer dresses in the warmer months? The ones like this:
https://direct.asda.com/george/school/shorts/light-blue-girls-gingham-longer-length-school-shorts/G008057152,default,pd.html?redirectFromInt=1&cmpid=ppc--geor-------_-dskwid-_dm&utm_campaign=pla:Fashion-School-_Performance_Max&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=17501196607&gbraid=0AAAAADt8Wcm1oMWVYoBrMZRAaJmY4OxHM&gclid=Cj0KCQjwgIXCBhDBARIsAELC9ZgYG9pdeZibdgD76_xniRBLDqnyyvZArL9DdLA7VsYiWE5zGC1CWE0aAkIFEALw_wcB

The little boys round here wear a lot of brightly coloured patterned leggings.

Why couldn’t they were these shorts? Are they obviously girly? Would people bully him or think we were weird? I just think they’re nicer.

No, but we can control what we do. Avoiding saying things like ‘those are for girls’ for a start.

People who think a boy regardless of age can rock up to school in a princess dress & won't get bullied are deluded. I wouldn't care if my son had wanted to (he didn't) there is no way I would have allowed it. He could do as he wished when he left school & I would have supported him. Thankfully he got through school with no such desires & with no issues.

I’ve seen reception age boys in Elsa dresses and no one has bullied them. I guess I live somewhere nice.

I have to say I would find it very hard if my Dc wanted to wear things I felt they would be teased for because at that point it does become of cramping their personal style if you say no.

I expect I would at that point say “ SOME people might say this” and support them in what they wanted armed with full knowledge of reactions to these things.

But luckily mine haven’t so far and so we haven’t had to have the conversation. I certainly haven’t put the idea in their head and suggested to them “ why not wear these because you can be a boundary pusher” or, worse still, just taken the decision and sent them in something I know will raise eyebrows just to well… raise eyebrows. 🙄

No, they won’t. They just look like normal shorts!! And if ‘by what they’ve seen and heard’, you’re referring to comments from their parents, then yes, when they’re older they might repeat those. That’s very sad that parents are passing on regressive views to their children, I agree.

Last Easter I was in the supermarket and a little boy was there with his dad choosing an Easter Egg. He chose a pink and purple sparkly unicorn magic one. His dad was well annoyed and abruptly told him those were for girls and took him over to the ‘boys eggs’. That poor little boy looked absolutely miserable. He tried to mention his favourite egg again, but his dad cut him off.

So yes, there are certainly parents promoting regressive, conservative views about gender stereotypes. Hopefully, their children will reject those views (I’m keeping my fingers crossed for that poor little boy who wanted the pink and purple egg). At the time, I imagined it was because it was the dad with him and it was some kind of ‘have to be manly’ thing due to insecurity from the dad. However, seeing mums do it too is very depressing.

Nah, people just snigger behind closed doors or judge internally.
I remember the elsa dress phase for your little boys on here, over a decade later, many are swapping genders.

They might not get bullied but kids thst age do question why children are doing something / wearing something they see as different. Its nothin.g to do with being in a nice area kids are curious ,maybe you have never seen it butI'm guessing you haven't been in every reception class in the UK , and when the Ops son gets asked for the umpteenth time why he's wearing those shorts he might get fed up.

Your missing the point it's not the child that wants to wear the shorts ,the Op wants him to wear them.

Even if they do, so what? Why would anyone care what someone so nasty thinks? Why would anyone raise their kids to suppress themselves in case some small minded bigot sniggers behind their back? Utterly bonkers.

Not read the whole thread but did see a comment about it being similar to boys wearing cardigans. Actually we have a couple of boys who have chosen to wear cardigans at my children's school. As far as I am aware no one has said a word about this. Children are usually quite tolerant and accepting of others (it's usually parents who are less so)

Very true @Moonnstars 👏

I can assure you in my experience the 'nicest' of places with the wealthiest of families can often have the most bullying of pupils. I'm fortunate my children were never victims of bullying but I know many who were.

Kids can be mean. School is hard enough as it is, don’t actively make your kid stand out. A child being themself and being different does not mean the parent should put them in clothes intended for the opposite gender. That’s the parents agenda, probably the same parents who would be comfortable with their children being taught there are more than two genders in school.

I didn’t equate nice with wealth. But I’d say most of the boys in my kid’s reception class wear cardis. Some wear Disney princess dresses to parties. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if gingham shorts made an appearance this term. There is no bullying and I’ve never heard any mean remarks so if they happen, they are clearly dealt with swiftly. That sounds nicer than the reception classes people here seem to be part of, with all the sniggering behind children’s backs.

Or parents who don’t believe in gender stereotyping. Gender critical ones.

Sadly it's often the parents agenda that is forced upon children who then tend to follow suit in order to appese them.

Exactly. Kids don’t care about boys’ clothes and girls’ clothes. Entirely the parents’ agenda.

"The only reason people here did is because they’re labelled as such on the Asda website."
...well no, the reason I thought they were girls shorts are because they are made from the same material as the girls summer dresses and they're designed to look a bit like a skirt when worn.

Why allow a child to be left vulnerable to mean remarks? Regardless whether taunting is dealt with swiftly the effect on the child's mental health remains. I think we are going to have to respectfully agree to differ on this topic.

FWIW I would never have allowed my son to go to his friends parties in a dress. I believe adults who encourage this behaviour are trying to substantiate their personal beliefs at the expense of their children.

Miles of difference between a easter egg and an item of clothing.

Even Wikipedia says gingham is often used for younger girls school uniform. No mention of older girls or boys. This thread got me curious about the origins of gingham, hence being sad enough to look it up!

I would have no issue with buying my son a pink & purple sparkly Easter egg. I would have plenty of issues at the suggestion of putting him in a pink & purple sparkly dress.

There is a huge difference between child says they want to wear something different and mum doesn't want them to wear the standard uniform because "it doesn't look nice". The Op here is the latter one.

One you can give them guidance and if they want to continue they cope with the consequences and either decide what they want to wear is their choice, or decide to follow the others. It's a good lesson.

I used to hate being different as a child. Dm knitted me a lovely warm cardy which was, looking back, absolutely gorgeous. I wanted those cheap polyester cardies that everyone else had. No matter how many times dm told me (and other parents too) how lovely my cardy was, I coveted quietly those polyester ones, so I could be the same as everyone. I never told dm that, because I knew she'd spent ages knitting it, but all I wanted to be was the same. Yes, I was probably warmer, and more comfortable, but that wasn't the thing that mattered to me at that age.

Ds announced when going into the juniors that he was going to wear summer dress because it was the only way to avoid wearing a tie. I said fine as long as he was happy being the only boy wearing it. We had summer dresses (he's got big sisters) but the suggestion never came up again. At that age he didn't like being different.

At secondary school he was frequently the only boy in the school in shorts, and certainly by year 9 - 11 was the oldest boy in shorts, but by that age he felt being comfortable was more important than being the same, and was capable of giving a (fairly witty normally) response to anyone who commented. He was even called "Shorty" for a length of time, and he wasn't sure if it was a reference to his height (he grew late) or wearing shorts but he wasn't bothered.

The difference was that he chose what he wanted to wear with the knowledge that he would be different if he went with what he was comfortable with.

You see, where we differ is that I believe supporting a child to forge their own path and educating them on the stupidity of some bigoted people is the best way to make them confident and resilient.

I can’t protect them from
bullies because those kinds of people will always find something to be cruel about - I can only minimise the bully’s power by making sure my child knows not to let stupid people bother them.

I am proud that my personal belief is that anyone can wear whatever they want and that gender stereotypes are bullshit. I will educate my kids to understand this, too.

Well the Easter egg I can agree is silly.

You come across as someone though who would actively encourage their children to like things outside of societal norms, just to prove your point. Kids will do whatever their parents tell them to.

But to specifically dress your boy in a uniform item meant for girls is just wrong in my opinion. Ballet, for example is for both boys and girls, but they wear different clothes. You don’t get boys in tutus, it makes a mockery, just as dressing your boy in girls school uniform does.

Excellent point. Imagine a boy in a boys & girls ballet class being encouraged by his parents to wear a tutu if it was 'his choice' The poor child could easily interpret this as mummy & daddy want me to wear a tutu & go ahead