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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if boys can wear coloured gingham school shorts?

852 replies

Makingitupaswegoalong · 06/06/2025 07:17

DS starting school in September. I’ve never liked the grey boys’ school shorts. I think they’re horrible.

Could a boy wear the shorts version of the summer dresses in the warmer months? The ones like this:
https://direct.asda.com/george/school/shorts/light-blue-girls-gingham-longer-length-school-shorts/G008057152,default,pd.html?redirectFromInt=1&cmpid=ppc--geor-------_-dskwid-_dm&utm_campaign=pla:Fashion-School-_Performance_Max&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=17501196607&gbraid=0AAAAADt8Wcm1oMWVYoBrMZRAaJmY4OxHM&gclid=Cj0KCQjwgIXCBhDBARIsAELC9ZgYG9pdeZibdgD76_xniRBLDqnyyvZArL9DdLA7VsYiWE5zGC1CWE0aAkIFEALw_wcB

The little boys round here wear a lot of brightly coloured patterned leggings.

Why couldn’t they were these shorts? Are they obviously girly? Would people bully him or think we were weird? I just think they’re nicer.

Light Blue Girls Gingham Longer Length School Shorts | School | George at ASDA

• Shorts • Cotton rich • 2 side slip pockets • 2 side patch pockets • Pull on. Shop from our latest range in School.

https://direct.asda.com/george/school/shorts/light-blue-girls-gingham-longer-length-school-shorts/G008057152,default,pd.html?cmpid=ppc-_-geor-_--_--_--_-dskwid-_dm&gad_campaignid=17501196607&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADt8Wcm1oMWVYoBrMZRAaJmY4OxHM&gclid=Cj0KCQjwgIXCBhDBARIsAELC9ZgYG9pdeZibdgD76_xniRBLDqnyyvZArL9DdLA7VsYiWE5zGC1CWE0aAkIFEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds&redirectFromInt=1

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81cassandra · 06/06/2025 22:43

Calliopespa · 06/06/2025 20:06

Those are fine. Nice even. But I still wouldn’t if he’s the only one … Let him decide when he wants to make a statement of self-expression.

He is 9 - he wanted some shorts like the girls in his class wear (many wear the gingham dresses and shorts /blouse) he found the grey school shorts uncomfortable, I explained that they were more girls outfits but we could look for something similar and he selected the ones in the picture. He is the only one in his class that wears them and he doesn’t care at all! And if he is happy and comfortable then I’m happy.

Calliopespa · 06/06/2025 22:47

81cassandra · 06/06/2025 22:43

He is 9 - he wanted some shorts like the girls in his class wear (many wear the gingham dresses and shorts /blouse) he found the grey school shorts uncomfortable, I explained that they were more girls outfits but we could look for something similar and he selected the ones in the picture. He is the only one in his class that wears them and he doesn’t care at all! And if he is happy and comfortable then I’m happy.

If he’s happy and it’s within the rules then I can’t see any problem .
I think they are nice. 🤷🏻‍♀️

GiddyCrab · 06/06/2025 22:47

Makingitupaswegoalong · 06/06/2025 07:22

So why do the girls wear them?

Is your son a girl?

Dumbdog · 06/06/2025 22:50

I am open with my kids - I don’t pretend gender stereotypes don’t exist, I acknowledge and undermine them. My kids are told that there’s no such thing as girls stuff or boys stuff and anyone who says there is is stupid and/or old fashioned.

The way to change the world is not to acquiesce to the idiots who uphold bigotry or people too old-fashioned to see sexism for what it is.

If you let the little things slide, the bigger issues are allowed to take hold.

If a mum came on here and said ‘I don’t like the gingham dresses, can my daughter wear these grey cargo shorts to school’, no one would give a toss. It’s only the idea of a boy dressing ‘girly’ that’s a problem. That’s because ‘women’s stuff’ is still perceived as inferior.

My husband wears pink a lot, because he likes it. He’s also a giant of a man. He had long hair for ages and my son wanted his long, too. When some kids at school told him only girls have long hair, I told him they were wrong.

Instead of telling your kid the world says gingham shorts are for girls, tell him stupid people think gingham shorts are for girls - but we know there’s no such thing as girls things and boys things.

My kids still get to choose their outfits and refuse to wear things, of course. I have never forced them to wear anything - even school uniform.

Dumbdog · 06/06/2025 22:51

Coolcalmmoments · 06/06/2025 22:30

Agreed, although for those males who do possess typical masculine brute strength I for one wouldn't like to tackle them 😂

I agree - but same could be said for several women I weight train with!!

everychildmatters · 06/06/2025 22:52

My youngest son is 15 and loves glitter bath bombs. Should I stop purchasing them for him? Hell no. He also loves Mariah Carey. Got him "All I want for Christmas" last year on vinyl.
I am as equally proud of him as my other son who loves fishing and hip-hop.

Needspaceforlego · 06/06/2025 22:55

Dumbdog · 06/06/2025 22:51

I agree - but same could be said for several women I weight train with!!

Can we just accept that the majority of women aren't as strong as men.
It's one of the reasons why we have womens sport categories and a huge reason why it's unfair for men to be entering women's competitions.

Clothing isn't what makes someone male or female but that doesn't mean to say I'd happily put my boys in 'girls' clothes.

BreatheAndFocus · 06/06/2025 22:57

GiddyCrab · 06/06/2025 22:43

Do you know anything about how cruel kids can be?
You want your son to be teased/picked on/ bullied? Carry on and put him in pretty shorts.
You don't like the regulation school shorts but you don't have to wear them. Your son does.
It's school not a pretty fashion show. Don't be so wet! Let your son be a proper school boy like the others.
However, nothing saying you can't wear pretty shorts yourself in the playground. Doubt anyone will tease you.

“Let your son be a proper boy”?!!!!! The 1950s is missing you! I’ve never heard such arrant, sexist crap! Who are these “proper boys”? The ones who do manly things like kicking, football and Maths?? What about the boy who wants to be a nurse? Or the one who enjoys sewing? Are they not “proper boys”?

The mind boggles at the sheer old-fashionedness!

Dumbdog · 06/06/2025 22:58

Calliopespa · 06/06/2025 22:30

But “when you adjust for size and weight” is quite a big qualification here isn’t it.

Not really. No one is pretending differences in sex-based characteristics don’t exist.

But the notion that men are stronger than women simply isn’t upheld by science. Stronger in what way? Over what time?

I can lift less than my husband but more than my friend’s husband. What does that tell us about sex-related strength? Sod all.

‘Men are taller than women’ unless you are looking at Asian men and Scandinavian women.

Point is that when the world refused to let women in the room, science upheld sexist notions of strength, capability and intelligence.

Now we know better and lazy stereotyping needs to be stamped out.

Dumbdog · 06/06/2025 23:01

GiddyCrab · 06/06/2025 22:47

Is your son a girl?

Obviously not.

The PP was making the point that if keeping them clean is such an issue, why would they be allowed for girls?

Unless you think only boys do things that leave them muddy?

everychildmatters · 06/06/2025 23:04

@BreatheAndFocus Totally agree. How often do we still hear the phrase "real man" though? My husband is not a "real man" because he does the majority of the childcare and all of the cooking. He is also in a caring profession and wears pink a lot. His favourite movie is The Sound of Music, and he cried when his cat got killed in an RTA. What a simp.
No idea why I'm still with him (the incredible sex helps tbf).

Dumbdog · 06/06/2025 23:14

Needspaceforlego · 06/06/2025 22:55

Can we just accept that the majority of women aren't as strong as men.
It's one of the reasons why we have womens sport categories and a huge reason why it's unfair for men to be entering women's competitions.

Clothing isn't what makes someone male or female but that doesn't mean to say I'd happily put my boys in 'girls' clothes.

No, we can’t.

You need to be a lot more detailed in your statement if you want to make them. How are you measuring strength? What part of the body? Upper body? Lower body? Over what time?

Testosterone is a thing, and it massively affects muscle mass etc. - no-one is denying that. Men are generally faster over short distances, and have greater strength in short bursts. Women generally cope better with pain and have greater stamina. So average strength differs depending on criteria. I fully support sex segregation in certain sports - but sweeping generalisations about ‘men being stronger than women’ are unhelpful and wrong.

There’s no such thing as ‘girls clothes’ except period pants and bras because they are designed for a specific sex-based purpose. Everything else is just window dressing. Sarongs, kilts are skirts by different names. A kandura (?) is basically a dress.

Refusing to let a boy wear what people deem to be ‘girly’ clothes is tantamount to telling him girls are inferior. I bet most people on here don’t mind daughters wearing shorts and trousers. ‘It’s ok to be a tomboy, but not ok to be a sissy’. Gross.

RampantIvy · 06/06/2025 23:35

but sweeping generalisations about ‘men being stronger than women’ are unhelpful and wrong.

Are they?

I'm not convinced. A quick google says otherwise. I don't think most women do weight training either.

Loubelou71 · 06/06/2025 23:36

CaptainMyCaptain · 06/06/2025 20:14

I dint think children get bullied about their clothes in Reception. (Early Years teacher for 30 years)

Maybe not directly but don't children choose who they play with and exclude others. You hear that within stories on here

Dumbdog · 06/06/2025 23:44

RampantIvy · 06/06/2025 23:35

but sweeping generalisations about ‘men being stronger than women’ are unhelpful and wrong.

Are they?

I'm not convinced. A quick google says otherwise. I don't think most women do weight training either.

Google again.

Women do better in extreme environments like famines. We live longer, have stronger immune systems and enhanced endurance. Strength is not just about how much heavy stuff you can lift.

That said, most women - actually all women - should be weight training. It’s essential to counter the issues menopause and age bring.

Dumbdog · 06/06/2025 23:51

Loubelou71 · 06/06/2025 23:36

Maybe not directly but don't children choose who they play with and exclude others. You hear that within stories on here

A kid at school decided they only wanted to play with the white kids, and that any of them who played with black or brown kids couldn’t be her friend. Weirdly, we didn’t accept that as her ‘choosing who to play with and excluding others’.

We made it clear to our kids that excluding anyone based on appearance was unacceptable. Racism is much more important than clothing, but it’s the same principle.

Darkgreendarkbark · 06/06/2025 23:55

I don't understand why you would start a thread asking us whether your son can wear something that's (presumably) not on the uniform list.

Have you managed to get a child to the age of 9 without years of constant requests for borderline or clearly forbidden styles of shoe, colours of sock, hairstyle, coat, etc etc etc? You've never navigated this before? You don't realise that there is a uniform policy at his school, and that the children don't just coincidentally choose to wear grey, white and the school colour every day?

Are we truly expected to believe that, with a child well into junior school, you are seriously wondering to yourself "could my son wear this random item which is quite clearly not the school uniform?"

And then, instead of checking the uniform list or speaking to the school, you've asked Mumsnet?

Wtf

1SillySossij · 06/06/2025 23:58

Makingitupaswegoalong · 06/06/2025 07:23

Do you think he would be bullied? Why?

Fairly obviously because they are girls shorts! Please do not do this to your child for your own selfish reasons.

Dumbdog · 07/06/2025 00:03

Darkgreendarkbark · 06/06/2025 23:55

I don't understand why you would start a thread asking us whether your son can wear something that's (presumably) not on the uniform list.

Have you managed to get a child to the age of 9 without years of constant requests for borderline or clearly forbidden styles of shoe, colours of sock, hairstyle, coat, etc etc etc? You've never navigated this before? You don't realise that there is a uniform policy at his school, and that the children don't just coincidentally choose to wear grey, white and the school colour every day?

Are we truly expected to believe that, with a child well into junior school, you are seriously wondering to yourself "could my son wear this random item which is quite clearly not the school uniform?"

And then, instead of checking the uniform list or speaking to the school, you've asked Mumsnet?

Wtf

OP’s kid is 4.

Presumably OP’s reasoning was that gingham dresses are on the uniform list, so why not gingham shorts? Fairly reasonable step, tbh.

Dumbdog · 07/06/2025 00:04

1SillySossij · 06/06/2025 23:58

Fairly obviously because they are girls shorts! Please do not do this to your child for your own selfish reasons.

Please don’t teach children outdated gender stereotypes for your own selfish reasons.

Annascaul · 07/06/2025 00:08

Dumbdog · 07/06/2025 00:04

Please don’t teach children outdated gender stereotypes for your own selfish reasons.

It’s a school uniform, and there are boys / girls versions.
If this causes such angst, op could always choose a different school rather than dressing her son in the girl’s uniform.
He can wear what he pleases at home.

Darkgreendarkbark · 07/06/2025 00:10

Dumbdog · 07/06/2025 00:03

OP’s kid is 4.

Presumably OP’s reasoning was that gingham dresses are on the uniform list, so why not gingham shorts? Fairly reasonable step, tbh.

Oh, not sure where I got 9 from then! Could have sworn 🙃

No, I don't think it's a reasonable step to read the school uniform list, and then ask whether a child can wear something completely different to what is listed. I have never heard of any child wearing gingham shorts to school. It's also not reasonable to ask Mumsnet instead of the school itself, or other parents at that school. My class WhatsApp is the usual place to ask "are these shoes OK do you all think?" and "are they ok to wear school jumpers with summer uniform, or does it have to be the white cardi for summer" etc

You do always get some parents who are completely clueless, but I wouldn't call it reasonable.

This thread just sounds like a wind-up, to be honest - something to take screenshots of demonstrating how Mumsnetters are terrible old bigots.

Dumbdog · 07/06/2025 00:12

Annascaul · 07/06/2025 00:08

It’s a school uniform, and there are boys / girls versions.
If this causes such angst, op could always choose a different school rather than dressing her son in the girl’s uniform.
He can wear what he pleases at home.

What are those reasons?

Give me one reason that isn’t rooted in sexist bullshit.

The whole ‘find another school’ is also nonsense. I live in the catchment of 6 primaries - they all have the same uniform requirements, albeit in different colours. I presume most people have a similar set up so there is no choice.

Dumbdog · 07/06/2025 00:18

Darkgreendarkbark · 07/06/2025 00:10

Oh, not sure where I got 9 from then! Could have sworn 🙃

No, I don't think it's a reasonable step to read the school uniform list, and then ask whether a child can wear something completely different to what is listed. I have never heard of any child wearing gingham shorts to school. It's also not reasonable to ask Mumsnet instead of the school itself, or other parents at that school. My class WhatsApp is the usual place to ask "are these shoes OK do you all think?" and "are they ok to wear school jumpers with summer uniform, or does it have to be the white cardi for summer" etc

You do always get some parents who are completely clueless, but I wouldn't call it reasonable.

This thread just sounds like a wind-up, to be honest - something to take screenshots of demonstrating how Mumsnetters are terrible old bigots.

Well if MN doesn’t want to be seen as bigoted, maybe users should consider not being bigots?

As for asking on here - why not? It’s understandable to want to ask something anonymously.

plenty of threads on here would be better done IRL, but the beauty/shitter of the internet is that anyone can post anything.

I would definitely buy those gingham shirts for my kids and I’m fairly confident the school wouldn’t care. Half the time the kids are wearing non-uniform shoes or joggers instead of school trousers or jumpers without the logo. It doesn’t really matter because what’s important is that the kid is warm enough and comfortable enough to learn.

Thankfully the school is sensible enough not to make a big fuss about stuff that really doesn’t matter.

Annascaul · 07/06/2025 00:30

You think people not choosing the girl’s uniforms for their sons are bigoted, @dumbdog?
Interesting take.