To ask if boys can wear coloured gingham school shorts?

[Makingitupaswegoalong]

DS starting school in September. I’ve never liked the grey boys’ school shorts. I think they’re horrible.

Could a boy wear the shorts version of the summer dresses in the warmer months? The ones like this:
https://direct.asda.com/george/school/shorts/light-blue-girls-gingham-longer-length-school-shorts/G008057152,default,pd.html?redirectFromInt=1&cmpid=ppc--geor-------_-dskwid-_dm&utm_campaign=pla:Fashion-School-_Performance_Max&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=17501196607&gbraid=0AAAAADt8Wcm1oMWVYoBrMZRAaJmY4OxHM&gclid=Cj0KCQjwgIXCBhDBARIsAELC9ZgYG9pdeZibdgD76_xniRBLDqnyyvZArL9DdLA7VsYiWE5zGC1CWE0aAkIFEALw_wcB

The little boys round here wear a lot of brightly coloured patterned leggings.

Why couldn’t they were these shorts? Are they obviously girly? Would people bully him or think we were weird? I just think they’re nicer.

My boys have worn cardigans since they were tiny - my eldest prefers jumpers now and wears them to school and my youngest prefers cardigans so that’s what he wears. If he didn’t want to wear them I wouldn’t make him but at the same time if he is confident and wants to wear them - why not?? My son also has long hair - should I make him cut it just because some people may find it “not suitable”? He has had a few comments about his hair from peers and adults but he tells them he likes his hair and it’s like his dads - my husband is a 6ft 2 weightlifter with waist length black curly hair, beard and tattoos. As soon as people see them together they usually understand. I’m so proud of my son and his confidence to be himself no matter what! I was bullied at school and wouldn’t want that for him at all but also wouldn’t stop him being himself over my fears.

I agree that the gingham shirts could be more comfortable and cooler in the summer. How about suggesting it to the school as an alternative? There may well be other parents (and children) who'd prefer them and then your son wouldn't be the odd one out.

I meant shorts, not shirts!

But what colour are the shorts?

Schools don't usually care about the fabric as long as they are the right colour.

Sorry, but no.

The gingham is very much girls uniform.

I'm usually all for people wearing what they want, but in this case, your little boy would get laughed off the playground if he turned up in these.

Traditionally, little boys wear the grey or black tailored shorts, because that's just the style that boys for a hundred years have worn. I've got a picture of my grandpa in shorts like those, and he was at primary school in the late 1920s.

The gingham shorts are a newer addition in the last couple of years, as an alternative to the dresses. But they actually aren't even official school uniform for most schools.

The picture was in my initial post - navy blue and white stripe.

This is very true. They really go through a phase of wearing the least amount of clothing they can get away with. You will have endless discussions about going to school without a coat when its raining/snowing. The average boy just doesn't care for some reason. I have 3 like that and one who really feels the cold and has a hat, scarf, gloves and neck warmer on with a huge puffer coat and under armour under his uniform from October. It used to be very strange seeing them all get out of the car on a winter's morning with 3 in shorts and a short sleeve shirt and one looking like he's going up Everest.

Now its 3 in tracksuit bottoms, sliders and a t shirt and one in all weather survival gear. The point I suppose is that they chose this, not me.

I dd ask the short-lovers once why they preferred shorts and their answer were, and I quote, its easier to get your willy out for a wee and it feels nicer having your testicles swinging.

Given the choice, my Y13 would go to school in shorts if it was allowed. He was really cross when we moved at the end of year 6 and he moved to seniors where he had to wear longs while his friends who had stayed at his old prep (same brand, different Emirate) could still wear shorts. I don't think he's ever really forgiven us 😆

It would also help your little boy if you “big up” his new school uniform, including the grey shorts. Especially as he’s so young in his year.

Once you’ve bought it all, get him to put it all on, takes some pics and tell him what a grown up, smart, big boy he looks.

He’ll then love the new look and will be excited to wear it on his first day.

Good luck for September, this is a whole new beginning for both of you. The school gates politics is quite something! I certainly wasn’t prepared or knew what I was letting myself in for 😂

Ds was delighted when his secondary school changed the uniform when he arrived in year 7 to allow shorts.
I did at one point have a pair of (second hand) trousers in case he wanted some. He never wore them.
He's just finishing y13 and still wears shorts all the time - they don't have uniform, but he'd have been in the uniform shorts if they'd had to.

Seriously.....you have to ask. Did you not go to school yourself?

Only girls wear them here.
If you want ds to get bullied carry on. Kids are mean. And you're making him a target.

Some girls at DS's primary wear these with a matching gingham shirt instead of a summer dress or the all in one short summer 'dresses'. They're not an alternative to the grey shorts or skirts which the girls also wear. Officially as the uniform is gender neutral (long hair tied back for boys and girls etc) boys could wear a summer dress (or gingham shorts and shirt) but it's not something that I would expect to see.

Seems a great idea to me, I would def choose these for my boys over the heavy grey shorts they have to wear.
I don’t think most 5 year olds would notice or care if a boy chose to wear these at our school. The kids I have encountered are completely accepting at this age, they don’t question it until their parents point it out. It is the adults who have the problem… as demonstrated on this thread.

If the girls are allowed to wear them I don’t see the issue. As long as your son is happy.

My DS went through a stage of wearing a grey dress/skirt to school in year 1 and no one batted an eyelid in his class. A few older kids made comment but it was stamped out pretty quick.

we asked the school first and the teacher said “yeah of course if it’s part of the approved uniform”

If you ask the teacher they might be able to clarify/they’ll be prepared in case kids aren’t kind

You walked into a touchy topic op.

Gender stereotyping is always a raw nerve and then others push back when they think people are being ridiculously challenging about dismantling gender stereotypes for children.

By choosing girl shorts and saying why shouldn’t boys have colour you stirred up all the people who wait about ready to spring on these issues. It came across as an attempt to do so.

To be honest my hunch is you just don’t like seeing your baby in big boys’ uniform! 👶 🩳 They grow up so fast!

Ha ha that's hilarious 🤣 And so accurate!

I've also just realised what that the shorts in question remind me of... Nora Batty! Been bugging me all day.

Oh yes he will

It doesn’t sound like you understand what the word uniform means.

People are so vile.

of course they can wear them if they like them.

Weird how MN is simultaneously gender critical and also obsessed with what’s appropriate for boys and girls.

I also wasn’t keen on the grey, nylon shorts so my DS wore black jersey shorts with trainers rather than school shoes but the school wasn’t very strict on uniform. As he got older it became apparent that the grey nylon shorts with school shoes was the most practical so now he wears them. They’ve also worn dark coloured cargo type shorts rather than the nylon and nobody said anything so I think you can consider alternatives, mine wouldn’t have worn the gingham ones though.

Well much of the problem is that people are so entrenched. There’s no nuance or acceptance that both positions can have some merit and that it isn’t black and white. The battle lines get drawn up and everyone just unthinkingly lobs fire.

I see no reason why children who want to play with gender stereotyped toys of the opposite gender or boys in leggings or girls in boys shorts etc is a problem. But that doesn’t automatically mean noone is going to tease a boy in girls shorts and warning a parent against that isn’t somehow a heinous suggestion.

I was a girly girl. I did wear jeans like most girls of my era but definitely had a school dress, did ballet in pink tutus, wore hair ribbons. And I liked it. Yup, I liked being a girl. Did it mean I was somehow held back because I shaved my legs and didn’t play with action man? No. It gave me a secure sense of my sexuality - and I am more professionally successful than my boyish brothers. I give plenty of very masculine men a run for their money in my field.

We don’t have to entirely forgo stereotypical gender to create equality. We just need to be tolerant where someone really wants to do things differently but that doesn’t suddenly mean everyone has to go gender neutral.

People are so vile

Yes they are. And as the child who wore "different clothes" to school I know perfectly well how vile they can be. As a confident adult I wear what I like but at school I just wanted to fit in. I just don't think it is fair to deliberately set up your child to be a figure of fun.

Children at school just want to feel like they belong and are part of the gang. Not many small children have the confidence to pull it off.

"of course they can wear them if they like them."

[emphasis added]

And that's the whole point.

This whole thread sounds very much as though it is the OP that is forcing this, not her DS requesting it.
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"...simultaneously gender critical and also obsessed with what’s appropriate for boys and girls."

If an individual child wants to go to school wearing any piece of clothing that is part of the allowed school uniform then, yes, they absolutely can wear whatever they want.

However, in this case, it appears that the child has not requested this. In this context, given that it is the OP that appears to want to force this on to her child, then it is quite right that others should perhaps point out how other children may react and what the consequences may be.

Those are fine. Nice even. But I still wouldn’t if he’s the only one … Let him decide when he wants to make a statement of self-expression.