AIBU to have no hobbies

[BunTHoven]

Over the years, I’ve noticed a curious pattern across countless threads on here: time and again, the narrative involves the OP - or a close relation, be it a spouse, sibling, or friend - grappling with some issue or entanglement related to a hobby. These pastimes are often alluded to in oblique or cryptic terms, as though their mere mention might unravel anonymity.

AIBU to have no hobbies whatsoever?

I work full-time. I commute. I have two children—one teen and one tween. Even if I did somehow carve out a scrap of time, I genuinely wouldn’t know how to fill it.

Does this make me the odd one out? Or is it that Mumsnet, by some strange gravity, draws to it a disproportionate number of stories where hobbies play a central role?

YABU = having no hobbies is weird AF
YANBU = lots of people don't have a hobby

I think a hobby is just something you do for pleasure that you don't have to do but you want to do.

I don't know how people have the energy to be honest

" a full-time job with an hour commute each way"

Interesting. One of the great regrets of my life, when I worked and had even longer commutes, was that I hadn't discovered the Open University. (Other hobby/study options are available.) I could have made such great use of that otherwise dead time, reading/listening to course materials. Sadly I was so dim I had to wait until I retired.

What do you do during those 2 hrs per day? What might you like to do?

Over the years, I’ve noticed a curious pattern across countless threads on here: time and again, the narrative involves the OP - or a close relation, be it a spouse, sibling, or friend - grappling with some issue or entanglement related to a hobby
Most of the threads I have seen about hobbies involve partners disappearing off to their hobby for disproportionate amounts of time leaving the OP alone at home with the children. I haven't seen many hobby threads taking a different line, sometimes it's to do with someone at a hobby group being pain but the majority are definitely the "hobby widow" type threads.

These pastimes are often alluded to in oblique or cryptic terms, as though their mere mention might unravel anonymity
I'd bet that most of the time it's cycling or football.

Does this make me the odd one out? Or is it that Mumsnet, by some strange gravity, draws to it a disproportionate number of stories where hobbies play a central role?
I think it's because women come on here looking for support and a common issue in marriages/partnerships seems to be one of the partners fucking off to do a hobby and leaving the other person doing the childcare. The person doing the majority of the childcare is fucked off with the situation and goes on MN to complain about it.

YANBU to have no hobbies. It's not compulsory to have one.

it's true that the more you do, the more energy you have (to a point, obviously).

I feel a lot better exercising in the evening than slobbing on the sofa watching tv, plus I sleep better, I am more relax and more efficient and feel a lot more energetic.

I have an office job, it's not the same for everyone, some people are on their feet all day.

in an ideal world, you could use the hours commuting to do something useful.

If you are unlucky to live where I am, crowded trains and noisy people make it very hard to be efficient. If you are not at the beginning of the line, you don't even get a seat. I wish we could throw commuters who can't stop talking out of the train, that would solve so many problems 😂

I think as long as a person feels fulfilled in life and also finds time to properly relax, structured hobbies are not that important.

As for later years when kids are grown and you're less busy, volunteering
is a great way to fill time and add to the quality of life, if no particular hobby has grabbed you by that point.

Drive.

Even driving you could listen to the radio.
Years ago when I was working I was really into listening to the local radio station (I could do it at work - it was fine).
I did the phone in general knowledge quiz everyday and always did quite well (I was never brave enough to actually phone in and take part live on air 🙁).
As a teen I listened to BBC Radio One - I had specific DJs I liked and segments they did (the sad story one, confessions etc). I never managed to get to go to a Radio One Roadshow but I loved to listen to them. Me and my sister would write to the BBC and get signed photos and stickers.
I'd say that was a hobby as such.
In these days of podcasts you could listen to absolutely ANYTHING while doing that hours drive.

I think hobbies are more important than people realise. Coming from a family that is riddled with Alzheimer's has made me determined to keep my brain active for as long as I can. I've always been an avid reader and a knitter, but now I also paint watercolours. Outdoor hobby I suppose, is walking the dogs and connecting with nature.

I find it sad when the career minded mock those of us who do have hobbies, considering it brain rotting, and beneath them, as if these pastimes are only for the nursing home years. Looking at older people around me, the ones who stay mentally and physically active into old age are the ones who have interests and passions. Those who have no hobbies are lost after retirement and seem to just fade away in front of the TV.

Been there too. One of the many great things about the Open University is that you could get a lot of learning materials in multiple formats - text/audio/etc. I suspect it's even easier today, with technological improvements. That would also have worked when I was driving...

Sadly, if you've already got a degree, the cost nowadays is too high for most people. But maybe I can suggest people check out their free taster bits of classes: https://www.open.edu/openlearn/ Even on crowded, noisy trains, it might be more of a distraction, even if you have to re-watch/listen later.

Look, there are people on Mn who get home from work, get straight into their pyjamas at 5.30 and ask nothing more of the world than to sit on their sofa for the rest of the night scrolling on their phone. There are people who spend their post-work period driving their children to sports training, every single night. There are people who do adult colouring-in. Sudoku. Those weird little puzzle books they sell in newsagents.

Then there are people who pay to near-professional standard with amateur orchestras or string quartets, or whose day job is only to fund their ceramics/sculpture/writing/sport. I have friends who make textile art which is exhibited and bought by national collections, and friends who do drystone walling, and friends who are serious triathletes or ultramarathoners. Whose gardens are open to the public. Who feed themselves off their allotment.

You do you.

Yes, I had that. (Oxon/Bucks to Paddington/Marylebone)The complete inability of the train companies to maintain a functional 'quiet carriage' (or even more than one) makes a mockery of their customer service pretences.

But I believe I would still have made a better use of the time if I tried to read a chapter of an OU coursebook, even if I had to re-read it later. 😥

Been there too. One of the many great things about the Open University is that you could get a lot of learning materials in multiple formats - text/audio/etc. I suspect it's even easier today, with technological improvements. That would also have worked when I was driving...

Sadly, if you've already got a degree, the cost nowadays is too high for most people. But let me promote their free Open Learn website with lots of taster bits of more serious courses:

Yes because you get up and leave the house. to see something in particular Not just flick through however many channels there are these days ,( I don't have a TV)

What if you don't go out to the cinema but instead stream all the latest films (which some are available as paid viewing simultaneously with the cinema release or if not available for free very soon after).
Is film still your hobby?
I would say yes.
Most people don't scroll through channels and channels these days.
They watch specific programmes because they are interested in THAT programme.
Therefore..... it's a hobby.
In my humble opinion 😂

It's still slobbing in front of the telly

I find it sad when the career minded mock those of us who do have hobbies, considering it brain rotting, and beneath them

You know the most career-minded, successful and workaholic people I know are the ones with the strongest hobbies. Some people are driven, and it obviously works in every aspect of their life. Maybe they just don't like doing "nothing"

Or....
Getting really into a story.
Discussing the story/characters with other fans on forums.
Reading articles about plot holes on line.
Arguing with other fans about plot holes online.
Seeking out other programmes/films by the same writer/director or having the same actors in.
Reading spin off books.
Buying a t-shirt with a favourite character on.
Gradually becoming more and more into this fictional world and ending up going to Comic Con dressed as a character.....
But....not a hobby?
It's just "slobbing in front of the telly" 🙄

YABU

Anyway.

You do have a hobby- you go on mumsnet.

A hobby can be anything.

Well if that's the case then it's good. But please don't take my words out of context; I wasn't trying to suggest that career people never have any hobbies. But there was a recent, quite toxic thread, where homemakers and artistic people who were not particularly career minded, were being talked of in terms of having brain rot because they choose to spend time being creative.

Perhaps, it is rather that the driven and ambitious choose more active and competitive hobbies than those who potter along at home and are mocked for knitting or weaving...

And the majority of people who watch a film on telly actually do all this. ?

My partner watches films , then after it's finished than that's the end of it. None of this other stuff.

Yes but my point is it can become a hobby. It can evolve. It can become more than just "slobbing" around.

For most it doesn't.

Not odd at all that you don't have a hobby, I would have thought that working and running a household and having 2 children takes up all of your time! When my children were at home, I didn't really have time for hobbies - by the time I'd got them all to bed and cleared up a bit, I just collapsed in front of the tv! As they got older, I did play on a skittles team and do a yoga class, which I still do. I'm pretty lazy though and happy to be in my pj's watching tv most nights 😂