AIBU to have no hobbies

[BunTHoven]

Over the years, I’ve noticed a curious pattern across countless threads on here: time and again, the narrative involves the OP - or a close relation, be it a spouse, sibling, or friend - grappling with some issue or entanglement related to a hobby. These pastimes are often alluded to in oblique or cryptic terms, as though their mere mention might unravel anonymity.

AIBU to have no hobbies whatsoever?

I work full-time. I commute. I have two children—one teen and one tween. Even if I did somehow carve out a scrap of time, I genuinely wouldn’t know how to fill it.

Does this make me the odd one out? Or is it that Mumsnet, by some strange gravity, draws to it a disproportionate number of stories where hobbies play a central role?

YABU = having no hobbies is weird AF
YANBU = lots of people don't have a hobby

Mumsnet is your hobby.

Taking a bath is not a hobby 😆

OP, research shows that having hobbies may be linked to lower incidence of dementia in later life (except if it's caused by a stroke)

"Hobby engagement in both mid-life and late life was associated with a lower risk of disabling dementia without a history of stroke"

All the more reason to find something to occupy you! I know it's difficult, I used to work >50 hours p.w., but it can be done.

Reliable source: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10409527/

@DaisyChain505 presumably you pick specific programmes you like to watch and aren't just blankly staring at the screen?
People say going to the cinema/theatre is a hobby. So TV is too.
@BoredZelda why are games on your iPad not a hobby?

Wouldn't worry about it - my hobbies include bathing alone with no children! A rare treat! tv and eating ! Dont have to do something you don't want to do

YANBU. I had no real hobbies when I was working as I just didn't have the time or energy for them.

You sound busy op. I think the danger at my mams age no hobbies outlets etc your week is endless. She 80s. Im trying do few things now as my kids have own lives. I appreciate with young kids your week is busy.

Good point I'd consider a hobby something you proactively do. Where is be trunking, knitting or whatever

Passively sitting in from of a TV isn't a hobby

I guess it depends on what you're watching, though. Love Island is not going to stretch your brain 😂 and neither is Tik Tok 👹but even a non-celebrity cookery show, some light entertainment (e.g. Repair Shop, Long Lost Family) or a proper drama (like the recent one about Lockerbie) might make you think more.

I work in a job where I meeting folk of all ages, and it genuinely shocks me how few of them have 'proper' hobbies/interests outside the world of social media, TV etc. It's not about money, either - my folks were working class, and always 'doing' something, DIY, cookery clubs etc. I wonder if folks do have them, but don't admit to it?

There is always time to fit something in. I know it can seem like there isn't with kids, work and running them around to clubs but you can always squeeze an hour in for yourself. My 'hobby' isn't very exciting, I run 3/ 4 times a week but it's important for me to get out the house and have alone time. No one needs a hobby and I know plenty of people that don't do anything when they get home from work so it's definitely not unusual. I think there is a reason why most parents take thier kids to clubs, gain new friends, get exercise, have some fun, learn to win and lose, life skills. I think as adults we probably could benefit in exactly the same way but maybe don't value it in the same way we do with our kids. I don't think it's a class thing either, there are plenty of hobbies that don't cost much money or are free.

It is hard when you are working and your kids are little but I do think it is important to find time for something you have a passion for. It really helps your mental health.I kept up a couple of hobbies when my kids were young and now I can devote a lot more time to them. The days fly by, I have met lots of people through them and it has really expanded my horizons. I think you are in a position lots of people find themselves in, so there is nothing wrong or weird about you, but if you can find a hobby you love, I think your life will be better for it.

I’m a mum and also have no hobbies since becoming one! Before id spend my free time trying new hairstyles/makeup looks but now any free time or if DH takes the baby for the day I just spend it laying around on the sofa relaxing and enjoying the silence. Usually having a scroll on here!

Is Mumsnet a hobby? Or time on social media?

like many others I lack long term consistency- sometimes I don’t like something I’ve tried, sometimes I do but I lack time/money etc. I really wanted to get into pottery, signed up for a class, pandemic came. Post Covid I started the course but we had to wear masks. I didn’t enjoy that time at all. Pottery not for me.

I really want to learn to sail but it’s too much of a time commitment right now.

but my life has changed dramatically over the last year now my youngest is old enough to stay home alone for a few hours, take responsibility for getting herself ready for school etc. This has given me much more freedom to do what I want to do.

never met a man on my hobbies. That’s what you get for being interested in sea swimming, yoga, feminism, dancing etc.

i cycle but never in Lycra so it’s transportation not hobby.

I wouldn’t class reading in general as a hobby but I would count my obsession with the Strike detective books as a hobby.

there is so much I enjoy doing with loads more to discover. Shame working full time & parenting takes so much time. When my dc leave home I’ll give up daily cooking completely- funny as pre dc I would have counted cooking as a hobby. Now I can’t wait to live on a pot of daal all week so I have more time for hobbies.

@FedupofArsenalgame but would you class going to the cinema as a hobby?
The days of just watching whatever ITV are showing at 8pm are long gone.
People make more of a decision about what to watch. Therefore.... it's a hobby.

Well l would go so far as to say you do have a hobby, even if it's just posting and scrolling on MN 😁

I think if you have something you really enjoy you find time to fit it in, even if not very often. I have some leisure activities I would consider a hobby that I maybe only do for an average of an hour a month. If you have time for mumsnetting you probably have time for a hobby but that’s not to say that one is better than the other.

I wouldn't class going to the cinema as a hobby unless you were doing it more than two times a week so it depends how often.

My hobbies are pottering around and dithering and meandering. All in my own time.

Seinfeld did an episode on this. If it’s something you do on the regular and you enjoy doing it then it’s a hobby.

I think certain hobbies are a class/money thing. For example you need money to keep horses and declare horse riding as a hobby. But not every person who keeps horses is in the upper class.

I have a relative who flies planes as a hobby. He used to use his father in laws plane but I suspect he has since purchases his own. I had another relative who used to own his own plane and flew it as a hobby.

A friend of mine had an affair with a man who was very wealthy and who used to jump out of helicopters on top of mountains and go skiing - so that was his hobby.

I know people who go paddle boarding as a hobby. One female used to do flamenco dancing.

I think doing yoga or Pilates is a hobby especially if it gets you out of the house. Which means going to the gym is a hobby.

I used to play soccer, netball and beach volleyball. It was considered necessary to do some sort of team sports as an adult where I used to live. I tried getting into netball when I moved cities but the people were weird.

If you have no hobbies,how do you fill your free time? And I guarantee you will have some free time.
More importantly, how do you carve out some independent life for yourself? What will you do when you retire and/or kids leave home?
You're not necessarily unreasonable, but I find it quite sad when a person doesn't have hobbies.

To me hobbies are something you feel you should do/have, that require a dedicated space, equipment, skill and effort, rather than just a fun or relaxing activity.
To me a hobby would be woodworking, sewing projects, making train sets, golfing maybe. Going for walks, cinema, reading, travelling would not count as hobbies for me. I haven't got a hobby but I have lots of things I like doing and seeing. I have quite a negative view of hobbies I think from being forced to do them as a kid. Tap dancing, girl guides, collecting things etc.

No hobbies either, I always go to bed with the good intention of reading, but in reality im exhausted

well put.

Yes, I think it’s a bit weird. Do you never have time for yourself at all? I assume you must be a lone parent as you don’t mention a partner, but even my lone parent friends have hobbies, they just do a lot of dragging of dc along with them.

I have similar age dc and Dh runs a busy business and I used to have a big London job with a commute (currently off long term sick due to cancer). But even with cancer, I have hobbies.

I garden and enter some horticulture/floral design competitions. I hike and swim. I walked a Camino for 9 days a couple years ago. I have 2 horses and ride when I can. Dh mountain bikes and climbs and does bikepacking trips. We do it evenings, weekends and when we’re off work. And we do a lot of this stuff with the dc so weekends are filled with ‘hobbies’. They don’t really get a choice if they come along or not, except for the older one who can sometimes stay home on her own.

I don’t know what else we’d be doing in our free time other than sitting around being bored staring at screens.

I do find it weird to be honest -you asked!

First I would find it suffocating to just go from work to housework and general life admin and achieve nothing.
I also don't feel well if I don't exercise personally, and I would call sport a hobby.
I don't even understand how people function without physical activity. And what do you actually do after work? It's rare people work 16 hours a day + commute, there are free hours for everybody?

More importantly, I think it's necessary to have a life away from your kids. It's a good example for them, and it's healthier and become more necessary as they get older and more independent.

If you don't know how to occupy your free time, it will be very painful they day the last one leaves for uni or relocate somewhere else.