Feeling constantly exhausted despite 8.5 hours of sleep – how do people do it?

[Tchmmkln]

I’m really struggling with fatigue at the moment and wondering if anyone else feels the same or has any advice.

I make sure I get 8.5 hours of sleep a night – I need that much just to feel remotely functional. To manage that, I have to be in bed by 9:15pm, which already feels too early (especially with how light it still is in the evenings). I physically can’t go to bed any earlier, it just doesn’t feel right.

But even with 8.5 hours, I wake up feeling like I haven’t rested. And getting that much sleep means every morning is a mad rush to get to work on time – there’s no margin for a slower start or time for myself.

At work, I’m on total autopilot. I’m constantly yawning, struggling to focus, and counting down to the end of my shift. It’s frustrating because I know I’m not performing at my best and could be better at my job if I had more energy.

My husband does the cooking and washing up every evening because I just don’t have the energy after work. The house is constantly messy for the same reason – I just can’t bring myself to tidy when I get home.

We don’t even have children! I honestly have no idea how people manage full-time jobs, parenting, housework, hobbies, and a social life. I only work part-time and still spend most of my weekends recovering from the week.

Life just feels exhausting. Is this normal? How are people finding the energy to function? Would love to hear how others cope.

I’d ask how old you are and have you had your thyroid, iron and B12 checked? How heavy/frequent are your periods?

Your doctor should be your first port of call - there are lots of medical reasons for this but only he/she will know which tests are required.

I don’t think it is normal at all. If you truly feel as exhausted as you say, I think perhaps a chat with your GP, and maybe get some basic blood tests done.

I felt like that my entire life until I got a weighted duvet.

I think tiredness is a symptom of a few illnesses. I remember being miserable halfway through pregnancy but felt like a different person after they put me on iron tablets. I’d get a blood test OP.

I am 27. No haven’t had any bloods, but have an appointment booked with the doctor in a couple weeks

Not particularly normal, no. Are you perimenopausal? I take magnesium which helps. I also go to the gym which seems to wake my body up. Life can be hard sometimes though x

I am another coming to say please get your thyroid and iron checked

A few good suggestions already, I’ve always struggled with tiredness it’s been a journey.

• you need to go to the GP and ask for blood test - iron, coeliac, thyroid, b12 etc
• do you have a smart watch? Do you know how much of that sleep is quality sleep? Like PP above a weighed blanket can increase quality of sleep.

Periods are fairly regular with only a couple days out are quite heavy though. A couple years ago I had my iron checked and it came out normal.
Also to note I am borderline underweight so don’t know if that might be why. I do eat enough though just always have struggled to stay a healthy weight.

Definitely get yourself to a doctor, that's not normal. I'm 30 weeks pregnant with kids and don't feel as tired as you! 😕 I hope you get some answers, take care of yourself.

When I was underweight and iron deficient this was exactly how I felt - early 20s and constantly knackered.

Im now 38, 3 kids and work full time and I AM tired but it's a different sort of tiredness to that dog tired cannot function type.

It sounds really odd sorry. I’m in my 40s, about seven hours sleep a night, work full time, have two kids and still have enough energy to clean and cook etc.

I don’t understand why you are rushing in the mornings, do you start work very early? If you go to bed at 9.15, 8.5 hours sleep would mean getting up at 6ish?

Get yourself to your GP urgently. This is NOT right, and sounds like it’s been going on for some time.
How is your MH?

I went to the GP on Friday. He said that as I’m not bed ridden and still going to work I can’t be that tired and said that everyone’s tired. It was so humiliating. He has booked me in for a blood test though.

I’d take a guess that your not eating enough to keep your energy levels up and probably low iron, vit d maybe

Do you drink enough?

This might sound like a daft question, but if I don't drink enough then I feel exactly the same.

Why do you need to get up so early? Not everyone is designed to wake up by 7am. My natural waking time is 8.30 - 9am. I've tried all sorts over the years and any other schedule leads to me feeling like a zombie. A good test would be what time you'd get up on an long holiday from work. I've made sure my employment and lifestyle fits with my natural rhythm. I'm not changing my sleep genetics to fit in with the early bird society. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Appreciate not every one has the choice, which is why I only ever apply to jobs with flexi time.

Secondly any chance of being neurodivergent / autism / adhd? They all can affect energy levels.

I hate, hate, hate GPs who behave like this. Sorry OP. I’m sure he is massively overstretched and exhausted and irritable, but even so, he shouldn’t behave like that.

i have 5 kids a fulltime job and a large house to run and I don't feel like that EXCEPT when my vitamin D is low. Make sure GP tests for that as well if iron and vit B come back ok.

Sleep apnea? I was told I couldn't have it or be tested for it as I wasn't falling asleep in the afternoons. Turns out I do have quite severe sleep apnea and I feel much better now it is being treated.

Your thyroid is fucked.

I was more tired as a single person on 9 hours sleep than I am now as a single mum on 6.

I'm so sorry the GP was rubbish OP. Frankly it doesn't sound normal at all. I have a full time job and 2 kids and I'm tired yes, but not that tired.

I went on a course with work once and it talked about sleep cycles. They said that each sleep cycle is 90 mins and if you wake up in the middle of one you’re not fully rested.

So it’s better to get 6, 7.5 or 9 hours sleep. By waking up after 8.5 you’re waking up half way through a cycle.

I know it sounds a bit made up, but this really was a game changer for me!

I’ve felt like that since puberty. I think I am autistic. DD1 is diagnosed.