Feeling constantly exhausted despite 8.5 hours of sleep – how do people do it?

[Tchmmkln]

I’m really struggling with fatigue at the moment and wondering if anyone else feels the same or has any advice.

I make sure I get 8.5 hours of sleep a night – I need that much just to feel remotely functional. To manage that, I have to be in bed by 9:15pm, which already feels too early (especially with how light it still is in the evenings). I physically can’t go to bed any earlier, it just doesn’t feel right.

But even with 8.5 hours, I wake up feeling like I haven’t rested. And getting that much sleep means every morning is a mad rush to get to work on time – there’s no margin for a slower start or time for myself.

At work, I’m on total autopilot. I’m constantly yawning, struggling to focus, and counting down to the end of my shift. It’s frustrating because I know I’m not performing at my best and could be better at my job if I had more energy.

My husband does the cooking and washing up every evening because I just don’t have the energy after work. The house is constantly messy for the same reason – I just can’t bring myself to tidy when I get home.

We don’t even have children! I honestly have no idea how people manage full-time jobs, parenting, housework, hobbies, and a social life. I only work part-time and still spend most of my weekends recovering from the week.

Life just feels exhausting. Is this normal? How are people finding the energy to function? Would love to hear how others cope.

No, that isn't normal OP. At 27 and only working PT with no kids you should be full of energy! My 20-something colleagues work FT and have busy social lives at the weekends and I've never seen any of them yawning at work. I hope the blood test shines a light on things. I often suffer with low iron and that makes me feel pretty exhausted, but I'm a lot older than you with kids and a job. If you're borderline underweight you may need to eat more/eat better. A malnourished body doesn't function at its best.

Definitely get the blood tests. Can you look at your diet and see what you can increase?

I have found recently that I have more energy and am less tired on less sleep. When I was sleeping 8.5/9 hours I was constantly tired and napping in the day.

Are you taking any SSRIs? As this can effect people in heat which could contribute. And do you have any underlying conditions that the heat could impact

If you struggle to put on weight it could be coeliac disease or Crohns. Both affect absorption of nutrients and would leave you very tired.

I was about to ask about this! I felt like that for years, all through my 20’s and early 30’s - once I got diagnosed with ADHD though and started medication, it all reduced a lot as I wasn’t constantly recovering from overwhelm. In fact, I’ve barely seen a GP in ten years since, whereas prior to that I was regularly having blood tests as I tried to figure out what was wrong. I also got genuine illnesses back then as I seemed to pick up everything going, but that all stopped too (maybe to do with reduced stress levels?)

I went to the gp last year as I was very tired - but like you, too tired to be normal. I work full time and have two dc but nothing about my life meant I should be as tired as I was! Bloods all fine. I went again a few weeks ago as along with the tiredness my anxiety has returned from nowhere. This gp did another blood test but also tested fir vitamin d and b vitamins and it turns out I am deficient in vit d and folate. Been taking them for two weeks now and already feel better. And when I read the symptoms of both I was amazed at how they matched up to how I was feeling!

Horrible when the gp says things like that though. Loads of people are tired but not to the point where it is affecting them every day.

You need a blood test for anaemia and possibly thyroid function. You could be low on iron, B12 or vit D. They should also do a blood count for signs of infections.

You could possibly have a low-grade infection, such as urine, which is sapping your body's resources but not giving you obvious symptoms. Have to had any illnesses recently? Viral fatigue is a real thing, and common after infections like glandular fever, tonsillitis, sinusitis, Covid, Cold sores, shingles, etc.. signs like mouth ulcers and skin rashes could also indicate that your immune system is dealing with something.

Hopefully you'll get some answers soon. Don't be cowed or disheartened by the gp, if you don't feel right keep going back until you find out what's going on.

It’s good your blood tests are going ahead but sorry your GP was so rude and dismissive in what he said.

I am late 30s now but was full of energy in my 20s until about 29. Then I had a horrible 6 months or so of fatigue. I never really got to the bottom of it as all my blood tests were normal except for being slightly anaemic. But I think it was an interlinked mixture of depression/stress and post viral fatigue. I felt fine in terms of my mood but I think the depression and work related stress was being expressed by my body as fatigue if that makes sense.

I would sleep for 10 hours and still be tired. I would have to walk at a snails pace if I was going anywhere meaning the 15 minute walk to the station in the morning became 30 minutes etc.

Yes, I was going to add that digestive symptoms could be a clue. If there are any food intolerances or auto immune problems in the gut, that can actually cause an awful lot of fatigue.

I was also going to add gum disease. It's just beginning to be realised how much even low level gingivitis affects our overall health. So if you have bleeding gums it's really important to get it sorted.

You need to get your ferritin levels checked alongside your iron levels and B vitamin levels as others have mentioned. Anaemia is the last stage of iron deficiency - in the earlier stages you can have normal serum iron levels but low ferritin.

Luckily, I’m an early riser but even if I weren’t kids need to be ready to be out of the house before 8.30am. OP, might be because you’re interrupting your sleep cycle, it can make you feel awful all day.

Lots of things have already been mentioned, but quality of sleep can be a big issue. Do you tend to remember lots of dreams by any chance? I used to and it was many years until I discovered it was a sign of broken sleep (waking up mid sleep cycle) so I was never properly rested. Turned out I had asthma and a deviated septum and I struggled to breathe at night or would be coughing. I didn't wake up enough to 'feel' awake so I had no idea. I thought sleep apnea was only for people who were very overweight and didn't realise there could be other reasons. I honestly just thought I was lazy, because I could sleep for 9 hours, wake up groggy and still feel tired in the day!
I had treatment and am much better these days, though still find i need a bit more sleep than most.

What do you eat? Is it food that does you good?
Is the tiredness somewhere specific? I know if I feel tired in the crown of my head it’s vit D deficiency?
you sleep long enough so how’s the quality of your sleep?
Take a really good multivitamin as soon as you’ve had bloods. And put your results in ChatGPT and ask it what it thinks could be improved. The uk has acceptable some rates that would be considered nigh on lethal elsewhere.

When I was about this age I went to the GP for similar symptoms, and bear in mind this was 30 years ago, the GP was very sympathetic and described "waking up tired despite having slept well". I was doing my PhD at the time and obviously was doing some activities.
For me it turned out to be a food intolerance - and then another one.
Go to a different GP.

Are you depressed? What about diet? I think go for blood tests and start ruling things out.

Do you mind me asking what treatment you had please 🙏

You need further investigation.
I would get a full blood test to test for any deficiencies & het your thyroid checked too.

I have a possible underactive thyroid & PCOS, and I struggle a lot with fatigue like you.

Thankfully I had a more compassionate GP who sent me to the Sleep Clinic and for full bloods. Double whammy, Sleep Apnea and Unreactive Thyroid.
Not trying to diagnose you but the full bloods should be a start.
Did you hurt your knee when it connected with his gonads ?

@JazzyBazzy79 I had surgery on the NHS for the deviated septum, mine was pretty severe, one side of my nose was completely blocked. Apparently it ran in the family, my parents likely knew about it but didn't agree to me having treatment as a child and I didn't realise growing up that my breathing wasn't normal as it was never mentioned. The surgery result was fantastic.

I also now have a preventer inhaler and a blue inhaler for asthma, and commonly have prescriptions for rhinitis. Both have helped (sinus issues and coughing)

The GP sounds like an absolute idiot.

When I have dairy I feel like this. Just tired ALLthe time. Cut out dairy and I’m fine

i had blood tests as was feeling tired all the time and had been turned away from giving blood as my haemaglobin was too low although not yet anemic - 123. The tests showed low vit b12 and vit D. Once on high doses of those I started to have more energy in two weeks. I also felt less anxious which I hadn’t even realised was fixable. Now almost three months later I feel so much better. I am getting more bloods next week to check my levels but am sure they must all have improved massively as I feel so good.

Lots of good advice here, but im going to take it back to the real basics here first:
How much water do you drink?
What's your diet like, and what's your caffeine & sugar intakes like?
Im asking this because I was like you and it was because I was constantly dehydrated and had a shit diet. Everyone I know who is constantly knackered, doesn't drink enough water and has a diet full of processed shit and never does any exercise. These are the basics needed to keep your body alive, other than sleep, so have a good look at those first. Im really sorry the doctor was such an arsehole to you! I would be putting in a complaint about that, i think thats really unprofessional tbh.

I bought a Fitbit and it was a revelation when it came to sleep. Firstly I found I was awake for about an hour a night, even if I didn’t remember it. Secondly you need the right balance of deep sleep to feel rested.

I need to exercise every day that means walking, gardening etc not gym. What I eat really affects sleep, too much food late or stodgy food will lead to a restless night. I eat lots of veg, I never drink tea or coffee in the evening. I think you’re going to bed too early, you may be out of your circadian rhythm. Finally no TV or screens before sleep.

I agree with this.

I’ve started making diet changes and I’ve been following an anti-inflammatory diet (nutritionist led) and it’s been a complete game changer. That and drinking much more water, moving more, prioritising sleep.

I also take supplements for iron, vitamin D, folic acid. I used to be B12 deficient but that’s back up to normal now. Eating a proper diet with correct nutrition will support you.

Ive also given up alcohol and only drink 1-3 coffees per week x

Eating a proper diet will only fix a B12 deficiency if you can absorb it.

According to my stupid stepmother, I don't need my regular B12 injections... I should just eat better.

I could eat all the B12 containing foods in the universe and it would make no difference.