to think that its unfair to exclude husbands/partners from local mother & baby play groups?

[Mine]

I understand some of the reasons why they would not be welcome ie some women feel uncomfortable to bf in front of men in these groups, but then they bf in other public places (i've seen women bf'ing in starbucks on many occasions).

The idea is to get mum's and babies to socialise more, but isn;t is unfair to exclude partners from this too.....????

What if the main carer of a baby is male.....?
They would not be encouraged to attend.

The reason i ask is that my dh works shifts and will be taking care of ds on some days when i go back to work 9-5. I'd like ds to carry on playing with is baby friends so thought dh could carry on taking him to the baby group instead of me, but he was turned away when we went to a local baby group today.

He was really ticked off about it. Although he doesn;t want to make mums uncomfortable, he feels that dads are not really taken into account once baby is born ie no support groups, dad and baby groups etc.

Maybe in time this will change.....

I think he should put on a dress and some lipstick and go back and try again

Glad to hear it, Jasper. It's not long hair that makes children gay, everyone knows that it is not having men at playgroups that makes it happen

thank god I am a woman with a man's brain then.

anyway I have 2 boys so with any luck one will be gay so i have one of each.

I like a man in drag
Bedtime for me now.
Jasper, stock up on the wine because I might just take you up on that offer

night night x

jasper i get called a man brain too! apparently i don't follow the unwritten laws that girls do

nope well except me the rest are all married.

Having read through it all it does sound as though the specific group the OP was referring to is full of silly mares rather than women-only in an effort to include the more marginalised mums - so the answer is probably 'find a nicer group': hope you live somewhere that does offer a bit of choice.

YANBU. Dads go to our group occasionally. Definately find a better group.

And make a complaint. Might make them buck their ideas up.

it'd be illegal to turn men away wouldnt it ? under the equality laws ?

we had dads at ours and that was years ago. one was a actor from londons burning.

We have a 'Mums and Tots' group (we have tried to change the name but it doesn't stick!) and we love Dads coming. My dh turned up yesterday when I wasn't expecting him and we always have one or two others who work shifts. I think it is outrageous to exclude men from these groups. And in my experience the men are always made to feel as welcome as the women as it should be.

That is illegal. Make a huge fuss and get them closed down Doesn't sound like they're worth going to, tbh

dads are welcome to ours, except breast feeding support group but why would they want to go there anyway? lol - there welcome to speak to someone to help there partner etc. There are some dads groups where i live, maybe look out for some in your area? might be better as he can socialise with other dads too. I'd ask why he was turned away and explain ur situation.

wow, all the groups I have been to have loved it if DH has taken a turn if I was off doing something else.

That is a very unreasonable attitude. When my children were small and we went to toddler groups Dads were always welcome and that was more than 10 years ago.

That's really bad. I saw an advert today for a baby massage class at the local health centre and it said mums & babies only, no dads. Really can't understand this in this day and age. In many cases the DH is the main carer, what is he supposed to do - stay at home and get bored stiff!

Here 'mother and baby' groups are called parent and baby/toddler groups, or go by a specific name like Ten Tots or Sticky Fingers, men aren't excluded, wouldn't that be against some sex discrimination act???

At the playgroups we attend dads are encouraged to come although not many do, but that's their choice. We've had acouple of single dads too and this is particularly important as otherwise their children wouldn't be able to go. In our groups the emphasis is on carer so that means mum,dad,nan or childminder, and I think taht's the way it should be. Take them to task, it's the 21st century!

sorry, a bit late, but waaaaaay back madamez said some brilliant things about why balancing both needs is important that I wanted to have her know that I admire.

And today I saw a headscarfed 18 month old, which I would like to discuss with her, at some point (not tonight, too tired) on another thread.

Where I live we had a Dads and Babies/Toddler group. AFAIK it was attended by a loyal group of SAHDs where, no doubt, they all talked about footie, cars and beer (not that I'm one for sexual stereotyping, no not at all).

Weve had dads, granpas, uncles on occasion taking the wee ones and theyre more that welcome as long as they dont pinch all the good bikkies!!! many bare boobs on display and not and eyelash batted! Somebodys due a bollocking at yours!!!!