Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be shocked by parents drinking wine then driving with kids in car?!

82 replies

Pompompurin1 · 03/06/2025 21:10

Was at a kids party recently. Live in Scotland in the sticks. We all have to drive everywhere. About 12 kids and parents there (birthday girls house). Out came some wine and most of the parents (all mums bar one bloke) had at least one glass but some had two. Only the bloke and I declined. They all had to drive home, including down a bit of national speed limit road ….some of them had multiple
small kids in the car. All ostensibly responsible normal parents with decent jobs etc. Am I naive ?! Surely this isn’t normal?! But most of them did it.

And yea it’s illegal here to even have one drink and drive.

OP posts:
Cloudysky81 · 04/06/2025 04:25

wobblybrain · 03/06/2025 23:14

You know the amount of alcohol doesn’t lessen because you have food? Why would you drink and drive? It’s so absolutely unnecessary and downright dangerous.

Show quote history

It does, having a “full stomach” reduces alcohol absorption rates.
By how much is uncertain but generally viewed around 25-40%

Wanderdust · 04/06/2025 04:41

It also depends on your weight, no? Since they changed the limits, I haven't ever chanced it as I'm a very small and even one glass would affect me. I'm in Scotland, I'm shocked but not surprised by this story - think it's more common to have this attitude rurally.

DracunculusVulgaris · 04/06/2025 05:53

One of the reasons that I am about to leave my partner - she deems it acceptable to drive after consuming a glass of wine, cider or high strength Jamaican lager. For me, it is a boundary crossed, a non negotiable and a dealbreaker. We are in England where limits are slightly higher, but is still foolhardy, risky and, in my view, stupid. I refuse to get in the car with her, if she intends to drive, after consuming alcohol, though no children to factor in, fortunately.
But my mum was an alcoholic and my views may be slightly skewed...

tigger1001 · 04/06/2025 06:29

Drink driving has always been a big no for me. I'm in Scotland, and even before the limit was lowered, I took a zero approach to drink driving.

it's not something I ever saw at kids parties either

Barnbrack · 04/06/2025 06:32

I live in Scotland, the lower limit sends a strong message and noone I know would drive after a single drink. Especially wine. The exception perhaps being a drink at lunchtime then driving late evening. Even then neither myself nor my husband would chance it

olympicsrock · 04/06/2025 06:36

I’m interested to see this OP. In my circle ( south of England) it is very normal to offer a glass of wine and some nibbles to parents at children’s parties in the same way as at other social events. I would always accept as it makes them more tolerable with all the noise.

I would also drive after a glass of wine ( I am within the limit) and feel absolutely fine to do so with my children on the car.

Barnbrack · 04/06/2025 06:40

olympicsrock · 04/06/2025 06:36

I’m interested to see this OP. In my circle ( south of England) it is very normal to offer a glass of wine and some nibbles to parents at children’s parties in the same way as at other social events. I would always accept as it makes them more tolerable with all the noise.

I would also drive after a glass of wine ( I am within the limit) and feel absolutely fine to do so with my children on the car.

Google suggests a glass of wine is 3 units and drinks drive limit for women will often be in the range of 1-2 units although not precise. So you're MAYBE legal but a good chance you're not.

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 04/06/2025 06:48

@Pompompurin1 totally agree OP! i am in scotland too and a glass of wine would put you over the limit for driving. I just wouldnt risk it living in a village!!

Cleaningtroubles2 · 04/06/2025 07:14

I have been to the odd evening party for dc and wine was offered. Not day time, it’s always tea or coffee. Most people had a small glass and were fine over 2/3 hours with food. Halloween parties etc. it’s definitely worth bearing in mind we are in England and this is considered safe and legal.

Cleaningtroubles2 · 04/06/2025 07:15

Barnbrack · 04/06/2025 06:40

Google suggests a glass of wine is 3 units and drinks drive limit for women will often be in the range of 1-2 units although not precise. So you're MAYBE legal but a good chance you're not.

Show quote history

You need to look at the measurements.

Sometimeinadifferentworld · 04/06/2025 07:19

olympicsrock · 04/06/2025 06:36

I’m interested to see this OP. In my circle ( south of England) it is very normal to offer a glass of wine and some nibbles to parents at children’s parties in the same way as at other social events. I would always accept as it makes them more tolerable with all the noise.

I would also drive after a glass of wine ( I am within the limit) and feel absolutely fine to do so with my children on the car.

But surely the point is it's a social event for the children, not the adults?

It's a very sad indictment of society's attitude to children if parents have to drink alcohol to make the sound of children enjoying themselves tolerable.

Marylou2 · 04/06/2025 07:19

Horrifying. I've never driven and had a drink. I don't drink at all now but when I did I was even wary of a couple the night before when I had an early start. I'd never car pool with these people or let them pick up my child after a party. YANBU.

ButterCrackers · 04/06/2025 07:26

Absolute disgrace. Make sure that these drinkers never have your kids in their cars. I’d report these selfish idiots to the police. No need for friendship with these losers. Hopefully a visit from the community police will make them think twice before drinking and driving and potentially killing people. I literally don’t care about the drinkers I care about those people and their families destroyed forever by such selfishness.

Birdsongsinging · 04/06/2025 07:28

Aaron95 · 04/06/2025 00:43

It's not that low. It is 50mg of alcohol per 100ml of blood. That compares to 80mg in England.

Most people can still drink a pint of beer of a small glass of wine and be under the limit.

Show quote history

Agree, the limit in Scotland is the same as in Australia. saying it is illegal to have 1 drink is not accurate - You can have one small glass of wine.

Not sure why you would want to at a kids party though.

FedupofArsenalgame · 04/06/2025 07:29

Paljmens · 03/06/2025 22:23

I think I only ever went to one dc's party where alcohol was offered. It wasn't the norm where I am. And here most can walk home. Such an odd thing for the host to do.

I dunno. If I had to sit through the hell that's a kids party I'd need a glass of wine. Wouldn't be driving though

ErrolTheDragon · 04/06/2025 07:30

The OP didn’t mention food, only wine. I wouldn’t assume a few nibbles would constitute a ‘full stomach’.
YANBU, OP. Irresponsible behaviour all round except you and the one bloke.

I went to lots of kids parties when dd was little, some at places like a wacky warehouse where alcohol was available. I’ve only once ever seen a parent have a drink - a former neighbour who I’m pretty sure had an alcohol problem.

user1476613140 · 04/06/2025 07:49

Never been to a children's party where there was alcoholic for the adults. I am in Scotland. Its all about the kids at every party. I don't personally drink alcohol but I would judge if I witnessed that incident. Especially driving children away in a car or just getting behind the wheel could affect other road users or pedestrians. Terribly selfish behaviour.

IwasDueANameChange · 04/06/2025 08:00

The only circumstances where I'd have alcohol before driving would be if there was a gap. Eg small glass of wine with lunch at 1, driving home at 4pm. Small glass of wine with supper at 7, driving home at 10.

And by small glass of wine i mean 125ml max. I can't fathom people who say "I'm only having 1" then overfill a huge glass, they've got probably 300ml in there. That's not 1, its the best part of half a bottle!!

But then i detest people who pour huge brimful glasses of wine. Even if using a big red wine glass, you're only supposed to fill it to a low level - the volume of the wine glass is to help aerate the wine.

IwasDueANameChange · 04/06/2025 08:02

Oh and i live in England and its very common to serve alcohol to adults at a childrens party if its late afternoon. Especially for example if its at someone's home/in the garden and everyone lives a short walk away. Eg there might be trays of sparkling wine while children watch a magic show etc.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 04/06/2025 08:06

Bananafofana · 03/06/2025 21:51

I would drive after one glass of wine with food in a county where it was legal (I don’t know the limit in Scotland) but no way would I drink (legally) and drive with someone else’s kids in the car.

Agreed.

Renabrook · 04/06/2025 08:07

Not much different to the drinking some parents do during the day then do the school run

sparrowflewdown · 04/06/2025 08:10

I have had a small glass/measure of wine the current limits in England and then drove a few hours later, I wouldn't go over the limit and only with my own DC. Tbh I haven't done it often but I don't see the problem?

Original poster
Pompompurin1 · 04/06/2025 08:13

Just to be clear it wasn’t a few hours later that they were driving. For example they were drinking till about 3:45 pm and then getting in the car at 4 pm! Fairly big glasses of wine. Some had one, a couple of them definitely had two.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pompompurin1 · 04/06/2025 08:14

There were nibbles

OP posts:
ThatsNotMyTeen · 04/06/2025 08:16

I’d have got their registration numbers and called the police