Was I BU to get frustrated with kids screaming?

[Salumthecat]

I know this sounds a bit silly and I’m aware I’m giving it too much headspace. I suffer from really severe anxiety, I’m having therapy but I overthink a lot of things and I’m neurodivergent which doesn’t help.

I was at the dentist today, I was already anxious about seeing the dentist and he knows that and is very good with me.

The practice is opposite a primary school and the windows were open as it was a small warm room, my last appointment was winter and the windows were closed.
I had to wait for a while for the dentist then had an examination, it must have been a break time at the school and was already very noisy but then there appeared to be a small group of girls having some sort of screaming contest.

They were taking it in turns to scream loudly one after the other, this went on for a few minutes then they all started screaming at the same time. I could hear one of the girls counting down 3,2,1 GO! Then they would all scream together.
No staff appeared to be going to stop them and it was starting to make me feel desperate to escape, the dentist said I needed X rays as it had been a few years so I knew I’d be stuck there longer. I politely asked the dentist if he could shut the window and he asked if I was cold?
I said no it was just the screaming was quite loud.
I asked in a semi joking way how he managed to listen to that all day, he didn’t answer but the hygienist wasn’t happy.

The hygienist snapped at me “do you have an issue with kids playing?”
I said no but I wasn’t keen on the screaming. She then said that it was likely her daughter just having fun with her friends, she said girls are often “a bit screechy” then said “I take it you’ve none of your own?”

I don’t have kids, I know kids are noisy but I didn’t think it was normal for any parent to be so defensive about their child being allowed to scream at full volume. There was no SEN mentioned so that’s unlikely, it’s definitely not likely the whole group screaming had any additional needs.

I apologised and just said I was feeling a bit anxious, she left to take the X rays to be processed and I was left just with the dentist. I said I was sorry if I’d been offensive and he said I definitely wasn’t and that he was surprised the staff let it happen. He said one day those kids might be screaming for a genuine emergency and no one was going to take any notice.

I felt better that the dentist clearly didn’t think I’d said anything really bad but I was upset when I left.
Part of me felt like leaving feedback on the form I always get sent after the appointment, I was tempted to put that I felt uncomfortable about the hygienists attitude but then I decided I didn’t want her to get in any trouble. I know I was upset but I also know I am over sensitive.

I just wondered if I was actually rude or out of order with what I said about the dentist being stuck listening to kids all day?
With having no kids I was worried I came across as some evil child hater and the way the hygienist said she had taken it I had none of my own it was like that’s what she was insinuating.

I really feel sorry for my dentist, it made me wonder if he’s desperate to close that window for some peace but too scared of also receiving a bollocking 😂.

Much ado about nothing but you're going to get flamed x

You were fine and the hygienist was unprofessional.

I think the hygienist was very rude not you

I have a child and I can’t stand the sound of children screaming. It would have annoyed me too. The sound of children playing is tolerable but that high pitched scream that kids do is just unbearable

I was expecting you to be unreasonable to behonest but you absolutely weren't

All you asked for was the window to be closed. It doesn't sound like your tone was off.

Wonder what the hygienists problem was 😄

Unless anybody has experienced anxiety, where hot weather and noise makes you panic, it's easy to think you overreacted. It's something you can't control and you often say out loud what you'd normally keep to yourself. Screaming is awful so don't beat yourself up. The hygienist was snotty.

No you’re fine. My workplace is beside a primary school and some of them just scream and scream and scream. I bought loop earplugs and keep them on my keys for times the noise is overwhelming. Also I’m not apologetic for it either.

I have kids. I can't stand kids screaming! General noise and shouting ok, but screaming is annoying.

Regardless I don't know why the hygienist took offense and linked it to her DC. She should have just shut the window and not passed comment IMO.

Oh god do you think so? I’ve been worrying about this since 3pm so I maybe shouldn’t have posted.

I asked my friend about it but she wasn’t the right person to ask, her kids once blew a whistle in my face for about half an hour without stopping and she said I was a spoil sport when I complained.
She didn’t comment much about what happened today but I got the feeling she thought I’d come across as judgemental.

Kids are noisy, especially at school playtimes. Yabu.

That hygienist was really rude and you should leave poor feedback.

I have children and I cannot stand screeching and I would have asked for the window to be shut and I would also pmplain about her rudeness.

Cheeky cow.

Looks like you're getting support so far. You've done nothing wrong. I would have said exactly the same. Just look after yourself x

I also hate screaming kids. But I would have gone to the door and shouted across the road that they need to shut up

but that’s just me

She seemed to be under the impression that her daughter was one of the girls screaming. I think she took it that I was criticising her child and implying the dentist must have a terrible time being able to hear her child “playing”.

Really, try to be more assertive (I don’t mean aggressive) and don’t apologise when you haven’t done anything wrong. You are the person being treated and your comfort takes priority. It’s that simple.

Playing doesn’t have to be accompanied by full pelt screaming. The dental woman was very offhand with you and you were not singling out her daughter.

I'm with you on this one OP.

I have children, and I love to hear children laughing and playing.

High pitched screaming? No way.

I was shopping this morning, and there was a little darling of about 4 screaming at regular intervals - the high pitched, ear splitting scream type. She could be heard all over the supermarket.

The mum's response?

"Not everyone wants to listen to your sonic growl darling"

"Stop being a silly sausage "

Nan told said child to "Stop screaming now"

Child carried on, and let out an ear splitting scream just as I walked past them. It honestly hurt my ears. 😡

Thank you, that’s part of why I’m having therapy, I definitely have trouble asserting myself and I’m a complete pushover, I hate to think I’ve upset anybody but that usually ends up with my own feelings constantly getting brushed aside.

Hopefully things will improve, I’d love to be like the pp who said she’d have shouted “shut up” out of the window 😂.

It's not as though you were making a nasty remark. Screaming goes right through you.

Dental hygienists are a breed apart. Met a number of bizarrely rude and snippy specimens. One reason I haven't been to the dentist for years!

You did nothing wrong.

I had one years ago, who talked to me like shit, telling me I wasn't brushing my gums enough. I had a full volley of having myself to blame if my teeth went rotten. Nasty piece of work.

I have mega-sensitive teeth, and receding gums. I cannot bear the water jet thing as it give me terrible nerve pain.

I'd agreed with the practice I'd be numbed for the cleaning, but she huffed and puffed and moaned. Did it. Then started cleaning and after a few teeth hit an un-numbed nerve. I leapt three feet in the air, and she just shouted at me 'look what you've done, you've made me cut myself, I'm going to have to do a blood test in case you've got a disease... etc'

I was shaken, and backed out apologising. Then came to my senses and submitted a complaint!

Absolutely shocking behaviour from a so called professional. Yes, the water jet is horrible. I'm with you, I don't do the dentists anymore. I look after my own hygiene now. Also had a bad experience with the extraction of a wisdom tooth and refused to have the other one out. The dentist and his nurse were arguing while he worked on me! Dentists aren't the best places to be, especially if you're already suffering from anxiety.

The Hygienist was unprofessional.

I have children, none of them were screamers. I DETEST the sound of screechy screaming children. I live by a school and the noise of playground play is absolutely fine. But if they were screaming, nope, my windows would be closed.

I think you should give feedback about this visit. If it had been me, faced with her attitude, I'd have got up and walked out.

That's no friend OP. I know anxiety isn't rational (I have it too) but in reality you are under assertive, not over. It's really okay to have an opinion and to ask people to do small things to make the environment more pleasant for you.

And no reasonable person - not one - lets their child blow a whistle in someone's face.