Was I BU to get frustrated with kids screaming?

[Salumthecat]

I know this sounds a bit silly and I’m aware I’m giving it too much headspace. I suffer from really severe anxiety, I’m having therapy but I overthink a lot of things and I’m neurodivergent which doesn’t help.

I was at the dentist today, I was already anxious about seeing the dentist and he knows that and is very good with me.

The practice is opposite a primary school and the windows were open as it was a small warm room, my last appointment was winter and the windows were closed.
I had to wait for a while for the dentist then had an examination, it must have been a break time at the school and was already very noisy but then there appeared to be a small group of girls having some sort of screaming contest.

They were taking it in turns to scream loudly one after the other, this went on for a few minutes then they all started screaming at the same time. I could hear one of the girls counting down 3,2,1 GO! Then they would all scream together.
No staff appeared to be going to stop them and it was starting to make me feel desperate to escape, the dentist said I needed X rays as it had been a few years so I knew I’d be stuck there longer. I politely asked the dentist if he could shut the window and he asked if I was cold?
I said no it was just the screaming was quite loud.
I asked in a semi joking way how he managed to listen to that all day, he didn’t answer but the hygienist wasn’t happy.

The hygienist snapped at me “do you have an issue with kids playing?”
I said no but I wasn’t keen on the screaming. She then said that it was likely her daughter just having fun with her friends, she said girls are often “a bit screechy” then said “I take it you’ve none of your own?”

I don’t have kids, I know kids are noisy but I didn’t think it was normal for any parent to be so defensive about their child being allowed to scream at full volume. There was no SEN mentioned so that’s unlikely, it’s definitely not likely the whole group screaming had any additional needs.

I apologised and just said I was feeling a bit anxious, she left to take the X rays to be processed and I was left just with the dentist. I said I was sorry if I’d been offensive and he said I definitely wasn’t and that he was surprised the staff let it happen. He said one day those kids might be screaming for a genuine emergency and no one was going to take any notice.

I felt better that the dentist clearly didn’t think I’d said anything really bad but I was upset when I left.
Part of me felt like leaving feedback on the form I always get sent after the appointment, I was tempted to put that I felt uncomfortable about the hygienists attitude but then I decided I didn’t want her to get in any trouble. I know I was upset but I also know I am over sensitive.

I just wondered if I was actually rude or out of order with what I said about the dentist being stuck listening to kids all day?
With having no kids I was worried I came across as some evil child hater and the way the hygienist said she had taken it I had none of my own it was like that’s what she was insinuating.

I really feel sorry for my dentist, it made me wonder if he’s desperate to close that window for some peace but too scared of also receiving a bollocking 😂.

I think the hygienist was very rude. I wouldn't let my children yell like that if they were playing outside at home. Maybe some laughing and chasing but nothing like that. I particularly dislike noisy children - and I particularly dislike parents who drag their children round supermarket where the child is making some non-stop high pitched keening noise which the parents seem to treat as totally normal. I can't imagine what they are like at home.

You were absolutely not unreasonable in the slightest. That would have set my nerves up on end. You were well within your rights to request that the window be closed and you are well within your rights to submit a complaint.

The dentist is 100% spot on. What if one day there is an actual issue and their screams are ignored?

Yanbu i struggle with loud noises especially when my anxiety is high, I don't see why they couldn't just close the window for a few minutes why you're there they can open it again when your gone and yes the hygienist was rude and unkind.

I think the hygienist overreacted, not you. Lots of people don't mind children playing, even noisily, but draw the line at screaming/ squealing. My DM can't stand it and always used to tell us off. I'm less sensitive but do tell my kids it's unnecessary. The hygienist was obviously just touchy about her parenting choices. You weren't to know it was maybe her daughter!

Fuck that. I'm not ND, anxious and couldn't adore my (now adult) DC more, but I'd have asked her if she thought it was appropriate outside her job. What on earth was her DD even doing there? The dentist should have asked her to tell her to stop screaming or leave too.

Hygienist was defensive so it's definitely her problem, not yours OP. I'd assume that someone else complained about her daughter's screaming previously and now she's overreacting.

Next time take noise-cancelling headphones. They are brilliant in all sorts of situations if you are noise-sensitive (I am). School playgrounds are always noisy though, and always have been - not much you can do about that.

The hygienist was out of line, not you. You asked to have the window shut. You didn't scream stfu at the kids.

A lot of people have dental anxiety and try to zone out during any work being done. When the stressor of really loudly screaming kids is added on, that makes it difficult to zone out.

Good grief, I'd have snatched that whistle and it would have been gone. Your friend is letting her kid behave like a brat.

I've got 4 kids and find screaming really bloody annoying

This, wholeheartedly this.
Primary age girls often scream a lot more than is necessary.

Hygienist was rude, yes, but children need to let off steam at their break time, it's a different kind of scream and the adults there will be able to know the difference (and on duty so able to see the children in question).
If you are neurodivergent and subject to this kind of sensory overload, you need to make provision for yourself with that. E.g. earplugs
(awaiting assessment, also a parent, have been a teacher and TA)

You only asked for the window to be closed it's not as though you demanded the children be executed.
i don't think you're being unreasonable for finding it annoying- you can't help what you find annoying and random high pitched screaming is pretty objectively annoying.
the hygienist was rude because she was at work and she acted unprofessional.