Judged for working only 30hours a week!

[layback]

I work thirty hours a week, this is so I can care for my children before school and after as there are no after school activities or care available. I am constantly judged by others who make remarks like "alright for you part timer" or "well I work full time so don't have time for xyz" we have no family nearby and financially can afford this. It does at times feel like I'm not seen as doing anything of value! It's 7.5 hours less than what's considered full time!

They're jealous because in their heads you get to spend that time going to the gym, going on coffee dates etc - not the reality of wrangling tired children after school to do their spellings or doing laundry.

I actually do go to the gym and have coffee dates 😅. And get my nails done. And my hair. I make the most of those precious school hours 😁

Same 😄 How dare us take care of our own well-being when we have a little bit of time to ourselves!

I only work 17 hours a week. When people comment, I point out that I'm a pensioner and by the time they get to my age, most people have given up work completely!

I don't have kids and I'm looking for a 25-30 hour a week job just because I don't want to work full time again! I was made redundant last year and we've decided we'd rather make cut backs than me go back full time if I can help it.

Yes to this! This is what I started saying. I don’t work but what I do do is care for two disabled children and attend the mammoth amount of appointments their lives entail alongside therapies and physio undertaken within our home.
I have been called lazy, a ‘lady of leisure’ and am often told how lucky I am to have a husband that works so hard and ‘let’s’ me stay at home.

The comments soon stopped when I started to say ‘oh are you offering to take over some of my responsibilities so that I’d actually be able to go out and get a job?’ or when I wasn’t feeling so polite ‘are you offering to come and take over wiping my 11 year old’s bottom then?’

Damned if you do and damned if you don’t, just do what works for your family, which if people took a step back and thought for a minute, that’s exactly what everyone does! They do what they have to do to make their lives work for them and shock horror, that looks completely different for every single family.

Who actually has the time and headspace to give a shit about whether someone works or how many hours they do? It just makes me think that you must have one boring life/relationship that you spend any amount of your day judging whether I should/should not work and for how many hours per week.

30 hours is classed as full time

I work 16 hours a week because I made a business that allowed me to do so. Couldn’t give two fucks what anyone thinks, any negativity is jealously. Everyone would like to work less that’s for sure

Make sure you tell them all about your day time naps (whether you have them or not) that’ll teach em

I only do 24 hours a week partly so I can fit
it round school hours and be there for the kids but largely for the work like balance and not becoming burnt out. I’m a community nurse

I'm very similar to you - work 30 hours a week, do school pick up (drop off to breakfast club), little family help nearby and I financially have to work the hours I do.

I get it both ways in that I feel I don't really fit into any camp - the SAHP think I belong in the working parents camp, the working parents think I belong in the part time/SAHP camp. Work colleagues think I have it easy as I only work 6 hours a day, and friends who don't work don't understand why I work.

I tend to reply with 'I'm 0.8 not part time - I basically do a full time job in less hours'. Which is 100% true in my case. I have more work now than I did when I was full time.
For those that go the other way and say I shouldn't be working so much I tend to tell them if I could afford to I would but I can't.

my dc have grown up and in one temping job i remember someone was shocked that i didnt work 5 days a week.
i cherish my day off, no way would i ever feel guilty
tbh i started on two, then three then four, that work gave me contracts for.
so the thought of five is not a scenario i like to imagine - it would probably be sensible but i am 60 this year!

Ignore them, they probably just wish they could do that themselves. I never worked full time after ds born, varied from 80% at most to 50% at least. Continue to do what suits you and your family

I went part time ( 22 hours) when DS1 was born, increased to 36 but term time only , and now 30 hours pw. No chance of me working full time again, and I smile and agree when anyone comments on it. I’ve been fortunate enough not to have to work ft from a financial POV, I agree that’s lucky. I loved spending time with DC, and think it must be very hard for families where both parents have to work ft, even more so for single parents.

Fairplay for that work/life schedule, but I read the OP as implying that she was working a reduced day around school hours rather than taking a day off in the week an therefore wasn't getting any child-free non-working hours.