Judged for working only 30hours a week!

[layback]

I work thirty hours a week, this is so I can care for my children before school and after as there are no after school activities or care available. I am constantly judged by others who make remarks like "alright for you part timer" or "well I work full time so don't have time for xyz" we have no family nearby and financially can afford this. It does at times feel like I'm not seen as doing anything of value! It's 7.5 hours less than what's considered full time!

It is different people that have made remarks.

one friend will say how little time she has as she works full time but she has a lot of family help and a husband who doesn't work away, this can be in response to having time to do a hobby or attend something, it feels like it's a passive dig at me.

work colleagues will at times say the old" alright for some" when I leave at my finishing time.

we do live frugally and spend less on things like holidays but I'd rather that and have time now whilst they are young.

maybe I'm sensitive to it and need to toughen up!

I worked 30 hours a week for a few years for the same reason. It was brilliant doing all the school runs, made life much easier.

Tell them to sod off, it’s none of their business!

God you'd be judged for whatever you do. Work, don't work, work full time, work part time, work shifts, work 9-5, work two jobs, it doesn't matter, someone will judge it.

There seems to be some misconceptions on this thread also about working part time, as if it means you can magically attend anything and everything. Working part time doesn't mean you can necessarily go to something at 11am on a weekday?

People are jealous. I work 15 hours a week, I just say "yeah I know, it's great 🤣"

Your friend, if she is a real friend, is most likely reflecting on her own life, rather than digging at you. They say comparison is the thief of joy. She's feeling sad at not having hobby time and you are sad your partner works away and have no family support. You can both support/ sympathise with each other.

Colleagues I really think "part time hours, part time pay covers it.

Miserable Miserable Cretins. Judging what?

I work full time. I'll go polish my fecking halo and pick up my award on the way out.

You work a lot of hours towards your home and family as well as the paid employment. Probably adds up to at least 100 hours. Quote them that as a figure.

I work 15 hours a week. I am homeschooling my autistic dd who is 14 and I also have a 22 year old ds at home who is also autistic, both have severe anxiety and OCD and I have fibromyalgia and several other conditions so it’s either 15 hours or nothing. I no longer give a flying fuck what people think of me, it took a while! They don’t pay my bills.

we all have unique circumstances and do what is best for us and our families, some people just have too much to say op.

You're not lazy. Next time the comments are made smile brightly and say ' I know I'm so lucky it's brill isn't it ' they'll soon stop.

Who’d be a mum, eh?

Work FT - ‘why did you have kids so other people could raise them?’

SAHM - ‘why are you setting feminism back by not working?’

Work PT - ‘why don’t you love your kids/the economy enough?’

Theyre just jealous, ignore them! Why let them get to you? Everyone I know works different numbers of days/hours, I’ve never heard any judgment. Who are these people making these comments?

They would hate me. I've never been full-time in my entire life (first child at 16) and work half as many hours as even you (not on benefits rich husband before someone mentions their tax money)

I think you're being sensitive.

You appear to be judging others for working full time and not adjusting their lives to be home with their DC.

Neither choice is right or wrong.

You do you.

You do

Life is about choices

You have chosen one route, others have chosen theirs

If they want to whinge on about THEIR choices, let them, its nothing to do with you and your choices

Opinions are like assholes, everybody's got one.

Just ignore them or tell them to bugger off. What they rather you were unemployed and claiming benefits instead? Tell them to piss off.

@layback , they are secretly jealous . Don’t sweat it. You’re good.

Other PP have said it, I’ll repeat it: you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

I’m a single mum of 2 DC, work FT (as a nurse, so it’s long days on the ward and shifts). I’ve always worked FT (apart from the two times I was at uni doing my degrees - then I worked PT).

over the years, I’ve had people tell me:
-I shouldn’t have had kids as I farm them off to childcare.
-their wife/spouse/partner stays home as they don’t believe kids should be without a parent looking after them.
-I’m a scrounging single mum who leaches off the government.
-latchkey kids are poorly behaved/haven’t been parented properly.

So I can’t actually bloody win. And neither can any of us…because there’s always going to be some bright spark that makes a judgement. Frankly they can all bog off. Just do what’s right for you and your family.

You can afford your work pattern, and it is what is best for your family. Win win.
People who would criticise you are probably jealous. In some circles, you are a failure if you are not working 50/60 hours a week.
No one on their death bed said they wished they worked more.

I only ever worked 30 hours (TA in school)
Now I look after my DD's children 2 -3 days a week, care for my adult DS who has autism and work two days a week. So I'm still working at least 4 days and only get paid for two.

I get lots of semi well meaning flack from my colleagues when I roll up on Thursdays.. I just grin and tell them how lovely it was chatting to other Mums and Grannies at baby sensory this week...

Women cannot win. Work, don't work.. we can't ever win so smile and wave !

Same. It's not like I'm being paid for the same hours as a full timer and going "hahaha, I'm not working tomorrow but YOU are, suckers!!".

I'm not working that day and not being paid for it. You're working that day and being paid for it. You want part time hours? Ask for them! Watch your bank balance drop.

Sure its nobody's business. Women cant win. As others say part time hours is less money.

She doesn't sound like she's judging the full timers. Just saying she would rather have this time, not that she thinks everyone should.

I do 3 days because although we'd be better off even after childcare if I worked 4 or 5, that's not what we wanted for DD. We have no other childcare except nursery, my parents are too far away and my mum still works anyway, and DHs are too old to keep up with her.

But I don't judge those working full time, because they're doing what works for them and their families. I often weigh up the financial differences Vs the time at home with DD of me working a different pattern or more hours, to see whether it would be better for the family for me to work more or not.

We're all just doing what's right for our individual families.

They are jealous of you! Part time roles are like hens teeth in my career. Gloat. It will drive them CRAZY. I know this because im hugely jealous, would love a 30 hour week.

This would be a good response and doesn’t show that your colleagues’ comments are getting to you.

They are probably jealous. I have not got any dependents live alone and a few years ago I dropped a day at work. Why? It suited me and I could afford it. Like u i don't ask anyone else to pay my way, so it's none of their business.

one friend will say how little time she has as she works full time but she has a lot of family help and a husband who doesn't work away, this can be in response to having time to do a hobby or attend something, it feels like it's a passive dig at me

I usually just say, it's all about efficiency, and look smug! Wind them up back