To ask granddaughter if she started wearing a bra

[IceCreamplz]

My MIL has asked prying questions and made inappropriate comments numerous times in the past. This time, she asked her 13yo granddaughter/my niece if she had started wearing a bra, and then shared that information with other family members (me, my DH, and my DD). I was gobsmacked when I heard about it but MIL thinks it's her right to ask anything because she is a part of the family. I think she totally crossed a boundary - especially asking such a personal question to someone at a sensitive age. Am I too sensitive and overreacting? For your reference, MIL wasn't going to buy a bra for her DGD. AIBU?

Not really appropriate to make a thread about it OP.

I can't even begin to imagine my grandmother asking anything of the kind, or how embarrassed I would have been.

What's worse is that 'sharing' the info with you is a total power grab.

I don't believe in 'going NC' but I'd be outraged. How old is your dd? I'd keep her away if she's a similar age.

Don’t be ridiculous.

OP your MIL is totally out of order and your DH and the parents should be having a word. A young woman’s breasts are not up for discussion!

Is this the first time she’s asked anything like this?

were your nieces parents there?

has anyone told your MIL that it was inappropriate, and even more so to share with others?

YaNBu.
I was asked questions like that as a young teen, by a grandparent and it made me feel very uncomfortable.

I don’t think inappropriate to ask a granddaughter necessarily, some people have close relationships and not all GM’s are embarrassing old fuddy duddys. Weird to bring it up with anyone else though.

I would have died of embarrassment at 13 if anyone asked me that. I was so self conscious about it. Irrational I know, but there we are.

Surely the MIL has eyes in which to make her own assessment'. What was the context in which she disclosed to you, DH and DD?

It's the sharing of the information that would annoy me the most. My own DM told her friends and neighbours when I started my periods (age 13) and I've never forgiven her for it (I'm now 71).

No, you are not oversensitive. What the Hell is wrong with some of these older women? To think as well, she'd share the information.
If I was the girl's mother, I'd be telling her to mind her own business.

Your MIL did an outrageous thing.

Someone needs to take the girl aside and ask her how she's feeling about this invasion of her privacy.

The girl's parents need to have a very stern word with MIL, and nobody should ever share any information with her again.

Also, news of grandma's incontinence products needs to be broadcast to the entire family when that time comes. If that time has already arrived, then someone needs to spread the word.

My Mum did a similar thing to DD. She had an off the should top on, and my mum asked her if her strap was a bra. Then practically shouted across the room to me to ask what size she was. A room that had my Dad, DH and teen DS in it. Just completely thoughtless from my Mum. I just shushed her.

Ask MIL if she has started wearing the pissy pants Tena lady, how's it going for her, share the information (regardless if true), because after all... you're family aren't you?

Yes totally inappropriate, but seems MIL believes the old adage that children aren't people who have their rights to privacy 🙄

It depends on the 13 year old and what their relationship is like.

Some 13 yr olds = "Yeah, I got a couple from Primark".

Some 13 yr olds = "Oh God, that's so embarrassing".

Sharing the answer was inappropriate though.

Being a mil cant be easy. But there are ways to make it easier. This is one of them! Absolutely weird, overbearing and giving mils a bad name.

Its an anonymous internet forum.
Ridiculous.

Idk I don’t think it’s that weird. Wouldn’t have been odd in my family. It’s only a bra.

Other women are not responsible for the question this one woman asked.

It doesn't give other MILs a bad name.

I'd be asking her has she started wearing incontinence pads yet. Give her a taste of her own medicine

It's not inappropriate to ask, but it is to share information. Not all grandmother's are old farts. My Nan was very open talking about periods etc and I am 61, she would be 101 now.
And the comment about pissy pants tenas is disgraceful , people really suffer with incontinence.

Whats this forum for then?

This is an anonymous forum. Plenty of things like this are discussed. Don't talk bollocks!

I think this is inappropriate of MIL and would want to tell her so. It wasn't her place to say anything, it was your niece's IF she wanted to (and I don't see why she would).

Tell your own children if you have them that they are not obliged to answer any such intrusive questions if asked by MIL, or by anyone else.

I agree that it is like asking MIL whether she has yet started wearing incontinence pants, or what colour knickers she put on that 😙morning, and then spreading the "news" around the wider family. If she still persists then I might consider doing that!

Granddaughter /niece? Your daughter? this makes no sense. Where did the niece come from?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I’d be making a point out of asking your MIL if she’s wearing a bra and if she says anything just say you think it’s only fair to alert the family group chat with everyone’s underwear updates.

“is it a thong today MIL? The people have to know”