Do people only associate with others like themselves

[FedupofArsenalgame]

After reading the 49 year old who was asked if she was a grandparent I noticed that many people state the don't know anyone in their " social circle" who would be. It's got me thinking whether people only keep social circles with the same " type" ?

For example all MC in professional jobs, or sahm etc etc etc

Thinking of a group of 6 of us women who socialize regularly we have a hairdresser, a barrister, a " lady who lunches" a delivery driver, payroll clerk and someone on disability benefits.

So completely different to each other. As far as kids are concerned 3 are child free, 2 have 3 adult children and grandchildren, and another has one adult child.

Seems we all get a varying view of others lives but is this unusual? Rather than sticking strictly to our own " type"

I’m younger than the Op from the other post but I mix with many different circles. Women older and younger than me, different backgrounds, races and religions, kids and no kids and different levels of education. This is very common for people in my circle too. Could it be a generation thing? I don’t know. But I find the people that do mix with a wider circle of friends are less narrow minded in their views. Should say in my closest social circle we are all very different too.

No, my friendship groups are very diverse. That’s what makes life interesting.

Where did you all meet? Presumably you have something in common.

Live in the same town.

No. I refuse to live in an echo chamber

I think a lot of people do.
People on here are always saying "Nobody in my circle would ever (x)" or "I don't know anyone who (x)"
and it's usually something comparatively normal like go on holiday alone or earn less than £30k/more than £80k

Tbh I always think 'how do you know?' more than "wow you must have a limited circle" because they're such random things I can't imagine them coming up in conversation enough to make a definitive statement about "everyone" you know. Often I couldn't say definitively about my sister or best friend, let alone "everyone".

It is a bit odd though. Even if they have no other interaction at all, and have homogenous friendship groups (or are one of the completely friendless people who seem overrepresented on MN), you'd think most working people will have a good variety of acquaintances with different experiences to theirs - apart from very tiny workplaces surely in most there are a mix of ages, opinions and wages, race and backgrounds? Even if your colleagues aren't your best friends, you still spend 8 hours a day with them, enough to be aware that a lot of people think very differently to you?

People might have certain red lines that they only want to associate with people on one side of those.
I'd have no problems with any of the people in your OP, but I wouldn't want to be friends with drug dealers (however small time) or indeed any criminal activities.

It's an interesting question, OP, and I am going to think about whether I have any "red lines" besides criminal ones.

Could be lots of reasons, jobs, hobbies, friends or friends, same hairdresser, on the same course, gym, meeting in the school run, bar? Endless list really. Surely with most friendships you have something in common or like the same things?

Some people buck the trend obviously, but generally birds of a feather flock together. Vast vast majority of people socialise with people who are similar to them.

Political interest? Abortion? Opinions of trans and gay rights? War? Quite a few other than criminal.

Interesting question. I have lots of friends, not all of them know each other. Nobody is super posh but some are much wealthier than others and very "classy". A few, like me, got divorced and even more skint than usual. Most have a lot more desirable lifestyle than me but I'd say we have a lot more in common - outlook on life, level of education etc.

I think I know people with different views from me on all of these things.
Not my best friends but I haven't cut them from my life.

I do think people with similar life experiences and outlooks will stick together. This can extend into things like education, political views etc

I mean you would think they would have met people from all different walks of life. They probably have but I suspect that most just like to live in their own little bubble where everyone is the same and thinks the same and has the same views… sounds dull.

I’m trying to think of topics but I can’t really think of any, where I would end a friendship either other than criminal. Maybe we are just too inclusive 😂

I do inwardly tut and judge though - occasionally!

I don't think it's necessarily about specific views on things...I think it's more broad. People tend to associate with people who have a similar background to them, similar upbringing, social class, education and types of jobs.

A lot of my friends I would say come from a similar demographic. Middle class area, NCT friends, people met through work in similar fields.

However, I have another group of friends from an exercise class we’ve all been going to since lockdown ended. Of the 7 of us who meet for meals and events (rather than the 16 who stay for a cuppa after class) the age range is 31 years, the socioeconomic classes are very skint to high disposable income with two homes, post graduate degrees to left school at 14, part time carer for family on benefits, retired GP, caterer, self employed contractor, retired teacher, shop manager.

We have extremely different opinions on politics and religion, music, books and who we want to win Race Across The World. But we have a great time together.

I've got friends who don't have children than those who do. Of the few friends who do have children, like me they had them in their mid 30s.
We all have a range of jobs - public sector, finance, charity sector. Some are married, some are single. I find it difficult to make friends as an adult. Impossible really. So bar one, I've known all of my friends since childhood or late teens (should add Only have a small social circle).

You pose an interesting question that chimes with me because we want to leave where we live now. We live in a gorgeous pocket of the UK and have tons of friends and pleasant acquaintances here but the location doesn't work for us. None of our friends are going to move close to us, so we shall move closer to them. I should add that we are nearly 70, and we want to stop travelling up and down the M5.

No, not really, but then I do group activities and work so mix with many people of different ages and backgrounds. My best mates are similar to me, it's true, but in terms of people I see regularly to chat to they're a very mixed bunch. Do I know anyone who's a grandparent at 49? Probably not, but I live in an affluent area of the SE where most women have their DC in their 30s.

I don't think that's a range of jobs...those are standard middle class professional type roles. A range of jobs within a social group that would be noteworthy would be something like a bin man and a carpet fitter socialising with a barrister and a surgeon.

@Comedycook why on earth would you expect a barrister or a surgeon, a bin man and a carpet fitter to have anything in common? Bin man and carpet fitter are not (in my opinion) middle class roles.

But thousands of people must live in your town, so how did you actually meet? You didn’t all become friends solely by existing in the same town. So were you neighbours, colleagues, parents of kids the same age, same hobby, same local pub, what?

I wouldn't expect it and if I came across it I'd be surprised. That's my point.