Do people only associate with others like themselves

[FedupofArsenalgame]

After reading the 49 year old who was asked if she was a grandparent I noticed that many people state the don't know anyone in their " social circle" who would be. It's got me thinking whether people only keep social circles with the same " type" ?

For example all MC in professional jobs, or sahm etc etc etc

Thinking of a group of 6 of us women who socialize regularly we have a hairdresser, a barrister, a " lady who lunches" a delivery driver, payroll clerk and someone on disability benefits.

So completely different to each other. As far as kids are concerned 3 are child free, 2 have 3 adult children and grandchildren, and another has one adult child.

Seems we all get a varying view of others lives but is this unusual? Rather than sticking strictly to our own " type"

My step sister had her first at 15. I think we come from similar backgrounds 😀

Don’t start with talking about race in socio-economic groups? Well it’s a very real subject even if you are uncomfortable and don’t want anyone else to discuss it.

It is fact that race plays a HUGE part in terms of the ongoing inequalities and disparities that POC face. It affects their education, job prospects, ability to access healthcare and living conditions to name a few. I wonder what percentage of MN are white compared to POC?

Lol really? Friends are friends no matter what colour

Sorry. Didn't mean it to come across that way. It's just that I have a very diverse friendship group and the ignorance and general twattery I get from white middle class people drives me to distraction. Comments about why and how I can be friends with people who are not like me. Even, as I said in my post, people who are desperate to have a black friend.

Anybody that said she "wanted one" would be instantly not a friend of mine, and certainly wouldn't be getting a lesson or a careful explaining. You don't make friends based on the colour of somebody's skin.

Actually got chatting years back when banished outside to the smoking area. Then a quiz night started so a few of us went to that. Then a few more to meet up when a band played in another pub etc.

Meet up about once a fortnight and chat regularly

Not instant though. Probably a couple of years until I we formed a solid group. Oh and we all prefer the same Indian restaurant

This is rather judgemental! Plenty of people with diverse jobs / backgrounds still have common interests and may become friends as a result. I certainly have some very diverse friendships groups acquired via various sporting hobbies and voluntary work.

Exactly. I didn't express myself well enough. She wanted a person to add to her collection in the hopes that it would reflect well on her and how she was perceived.

See when I (and most of my age group) were at school the majority didn't go to uni. Maybe 1 in 8 so that's an awful lot of people eliminated if being uni is educated was a requirement to be friends.

You could get jobs with A levels then that need a degree now

I found that post so bizarre, I can't believe so many people only know people similar to themselves 😅

All of my friends are different. Some are proffesional, some have average jobs, some are on benefits. Some have newborns, some have children, some have adult children. I'm 33! Some own their own homes, some rent...... some of my friends love holidays abroad some love uk holidays like haven ect

It baffles me how people don't end up knowing a variety of people.

Not every “POC” actually wants to spend time dwelling on race.

You have described a very varied social circle though

No offence taken 😁I come from a very diverse background and grew up in a mainly white area, so I understand the type of people you are referring too. I have worked many jobs with people from many races and cultures so it’s very much a normal way of life, living amongst so much diversity. A life in a big city, in a public sector job, so that is probably why. But even at secondary school and university, it was very multicultural.

Take it you’re a POC then?

Isn't that what the OP asked?

*Have not described.

I think it’s where you meet people - I would happily be friends with a 40 something grandmother but I’m not likely to meet them easily in my daily life - my groups of friends come from school (but we were the nerdy group so all went to uni) and from universities, and from work (you need a lot of extra education so everyone there studied for several years) and through friends of friends…. So while of course a 40 grandmother could be in one of those groups, it’s unlikely. Where I live? There’s no 40 something grandparents on my street so I’m not going to bump into them and strike up friendship there. They won’t be in baby groups that I’m in as that part of life is over for them so it’s not that I’m deliberately limiting who I’ll meet - it just is. I never bump into royalty either !

🤣🤣 what? How? Their all completely different to each other and all in different stages of their lives 😅 all have different incomes too. What are you talking about 😅

I think when you've only got so much time to socialise it's easier to socialise with those that go to the same places that you want to go and do the same things that you want to do. It can be very enriching to push yourself out of your usual habits to spend time with someone very different though.

I think as humans we do gravitate towards those that we like and gravitate towards eachother and I also think close friends subtly influence eachother.

But I think that if your social circle is different, you are most likely connected by something inwards. For example something I can say about my friendship circle is that there is a mix of jobs, child and child free but something we share is that we connect on such a deep level when we have conversations - and I don’t have that connection with everyone. We are all ambitious, and I don’t mean “high flyers” but we are go getters, whether that is family or business or jobs; we are all so family oriented- even those that are childfree have such a commitment to their family members, parents, grandparents. And we are into similar things - they can hang out with my kids for example.

I must say that there are people that build friendship on outwards things. For instance my mums friendship circle are pretty much all from the same country and they connect because of language etc, those that had kids stuck together and those that maybe were abit more ambitious stuck together. I do think as you get older you realise who are real, non judgemental and usually, it’s those that can put themselves in your shoes. Or those that can hang out with you.

I have children and those that have stuck by me are those that can hang out with the kids and without. It’s so much easier to be with people with children as we often want to go out to child friendly places.

JESUS CHRIST. You know how offensive that is telling a POC they are not in-fact a POC. And yes, am I am going to dwell on it every god damn day about the inequalities and racism we face. You have so openly proved my point. Spew your racist hate elsewhere.

I've found that it's quite easy to find yourself in an echo chamber, whilst I do have many friends I share interests with, it's a varied social circle.
My closest friends consist of a university lecturer, a conspiracy theorist, a bricklayer, a business owner, an 80 year old, a trans man and a stay at home dad.
We never run out of things to talk about, I enjoy deep conversations and people who challenge my ideas respectfully. Nearly all of them have differing levels of opinions on political and social issues but we all do share some common interests.
I will admit, I would find it incredibly difficult to engage with people who's main interests are things like socialising and reality tv.

I have varied friends but they all will have at least one thing in common with me, as that's how we would have met. For example my friends that I talk to every day, all have children born within a few weeks of each other, but apart from that we have different ages and backgrounds, different classes. I'm friendly with people from work who have very different backgrounds, from university educated engineers to someone who dropped out of school at 15, all a friendly group that chat a lot about our lives.
I have friends with very different opinions to me on political issues and other controversial topics but we remain friends.

And my mum was a grandmother (one of my brothers got together with a woman with 3 children) before she was 50, while also being friends with solicitors and suchlike.

I don’t have a diverse circle and I wish it was more diverse! But I’ve met friends at school, Uni, work, hobbies and everyone just seems to be really similar. 🤷‍♀️