Do people only associate with others like themselves

[FedupofArsenalgame]

After reading the 49 year old who was asked if she was a grandparent I noticed that many people state the don't know anyone in their " social circle" who would be. It's got me thinking whether people only keep social circles with the same " type" ?

For example all MC in professional jobs, or sahm etc etc etc

Thinking of a group of 6 of us women who socialize regularly we have a hairdresser, a barrister, a " lady who lunches" a delivery driver, payroll clerk and someone on disability benefits.

So completely different to each other. As far as kids are concerned 3 are child free, 2 have 3 adult children and grandchildren, and another has one adult child.

Seems we all get a varying view of others lives but is this unusual? Rather than sticking strictly to our own " type"

Out of interest - is your town quite small? I only ask because I think in small towns and villages, you often get more mixed social groups because there are fewer places to congregate and fewer people to choose from, and you bump into the same people more often.

Whenever I travel to really tiny and isolated places, eg the smaller islands in the Western Isles or Orkney/Shetland, I always notice that you’ll see really young people barely out of their teens out for a pint with people in their 60s, which you don’t often see elsewhere.

Wonder what the percentage of their social circle is white? I’m guessing it’s 100%

I used to have a wide group of friends and mix with anyone but now I'm older I really can't be arsed with people who hold very different views to mine. For example, I really couldn't be bothered with someone that voted for Brexit or Reform or who thought that men can be women. But then, I'm old now. I just haven't got the energy to listen to or politely acknowledge their (in my view) fucking nonesense. I'd rather not spend my remaining years with raised blood pressure quite frankly.

This is a big part of it. I would struggle to socialise with many of my friends I grew up with now. Even with my family I live a very different life to most of them.

I was pretty working class and went to university.

In fact, that in itself influenced which university I went to. Almost 30 years ago I visited one where there were tickets for a ball being advertised for £100 each. Almost solely on that basis, I chose not to go there, because I knew I couldn't fit in with that.

Did go to a good 'RG' uni though. And my social circle was VERY limited. I didn't have a ski chalet, I'd never done a year out or a ski season, hadn't gone to a school that anyone knew of, had never played sport at county level. I couldn't afford to go to the cool new nightclubs in town or join in with the expensive extracurriculars, my working class family didn't have any of the connections / knowledge / language and behaviours needed for me to be ready, willing and able to socialise with people outside of my own social class really. A lot of people thought that working in a supermarket every waking moment during the uni holidays, wearing supermaket clothes, and coming from where I did, was pretty dull and boring, and totally unaspirational.

When I came back to my hometown and had DC I didn't fit in then either. A lot of the parents at the school gate seemed interested literally only in football, tattoos, holidays, nails, and what expensive day out they were going to take their family on next. No adults were into hobbies other than drinking, any sports at all other than football, and women having an opinon on anything other than whether they were going to be able to get hold of the most desirable kits Christmas present that year was completely unheard of.

I eventually did find a group of people who had a bit more education, were a bit more ambitious for their kids, and had more interesting and varied lives themselves. And I took up a team sport too, and made great friends through that.

And I take friends as they find them - I don't collect people and score them on the diversity that they bring to my social circle!

Depends on where they meet. You're not going to make friends in the cab, but might support same football team, might have kids in the same school, be on a darts teams together, enjoy mountain biking.
They might even have been to university together.

And I didn't say that they did.
When op was asked how they met, she said they live invthe same town

Yes, generally speaking the people I consider friends or close acquaintances are similar to me. I've got friends from school and uni, some I met through work and some through the kids. I wouldn't consider people I talk to occasionally at the pub, school pick up, gym, hairdressers etc as part of my social circle.

Which I replied to on a previous post. We all ( well mostly) go to the same pub, some people were introduced by others.

Of course none of us know everyone in the town. It's the Londoners who live here but never involved in much we don't really have anything much to do with

But you said you live in a town with thousands of people and have not met them all or made friends with all them.. so why do you expect this Poster to have done that?

About 30k population. However virtually everywhere to do our is along the one high street so within a mile. You do tend to recognize faces even when you don't know people

We all have other friends ( both male and female) who aren't part of our group

WC people don't want to go for walks in the fresh air, or grab a coffee? I would class these as ordinary things, that you don't need a huge salary to do?

110%.

My social circle is people who are similar to me. People with enough spare cash to enjoy lunch out, shopping, theatre. Politically left of centre. Mostly female, mostly educated to at least university level. I also work in a school, so my ‘work friends’ have the same socio-economic profile. Outside of my social circle, and work life, I enjoy singing in a choir, and doing Pilates twice a week, both of which are MC and female dominated pursuits.

How close are you to people you have met invthe pub? How did you all get talking?
I am intrigued by this- I can't imagine going to a local pub and from that developing a close group of diverse friends. Sounds great!

I don’t.

My close friends range from:

• Female friend in recovery from serious addiction - child free
• Female piercer (heavily tattooed lesbian) - 2 children
• Male local politician - child free

• Male medical consultant - 1 child
• Male civil engineering contractor - child free

I’m a civil engineer myself, married to a professional with a doctorate with 2 children.

The conversations on our nights out are varied, and lovely.

Omg....your comprehension is shocking.

And… I have a LD. So thank you for making fun of disabled people. Well done you 👏🏼

That’s not how I socialise (I do hike but none of my family are interested in that.)

And nope - my best friend from school days would never have the money to go and grab a coffee. Moot point as we have lived in different cities for years and she could nor afford to travel between them.

Most of my friends from childhood I lost touch with and I just don’t enjoy the same things my family so (and vice versa£

Don't start with that. I once met someone who wanted to know how I became friends with black people because she wanted one 🙄
I carefully explained that it was the same as making any other friends. I gave her the example that I worked with someone, we got on well, I left, we kept in touch, we're now proper friends not just work colleagues. Its that simple. Well that and not being an idiot.
I thought most people collect friends as they go through life.

Back to the first comment on the thread, my uncle became a grandad at 34.

Well I know a lot of people who are like me in certain ways. Eg my friends from work all work in the same field (qualified professionals) but that’s the only thing in common. “Mum friends” have children in common but a variety of different jobs & SAHMs - although we all live in the same village as well.
Then old school and uni friends who are more varied in terms of jobs, family, background, and location. Although any old school friends all grew up in the same quite well-off town so had solidly MC family backgrounds. Uni would be more varied I guess.

I think it was meant for @Imcomingovertoyourplace Sorry, didn't mean to quote you.

Love the use of "MC 'friends'", and WC 'mates'." This thread just keeps on giving.

All my friends are completely different. My only rule is no arseholes.

My step-sister became a grandmother at 36 / 37 (Iforget the exact age.)

Some people just “friends” /“mates” interchangeably.