To think that life is too expensive?

[Gffbjjgfddbjkkm]

Feel so frustrated.

I work full-time teaching in one of the most expensive schools in the world. DH works full time too. We each earn about £40k.

I'm having to take on a weekend job, just to be able to scrape by to afford to send DS to university next year. Who wants to work seven days a week?!

Would love a really decent holiday, but can't afford that.

I'm sick of working so hard work with nothing but financial stress. Neither of us is likely to inherit much, if anything.

Do you mind me asking what your role is within teaching? I'm on the Upper pay scale but nowhere near 70k and need to up my salary as really struggling here!

I agree with you

I work extremely hard and earn about 40k. I’m in my late forties.

i’m very fortunate that my dh earns a lot more so we don’t worry too much but I do wonder what quality of life I would have if i was on my own or dh didn’t earn what he did. It’s very tough out there.

Utilities and council tax clearly vary widely - but our gas and electric are below 100 a month on average - insulation, heavy curtains, 19degrees, short showers, don’t wash clothes after one outing, avoid a half empty oven every night, careful filling the kettle - all these small choices can make a big difference to bills

showere can be over a pound a go if half and hour ( looking at you DD ) long - that woukd be 100 a month just on showers for a family of 4 and it’s easy to get that right down

I can understand it grating when you're teaching pupils with massively wealthy families while you're worried about money.

On a practical level the credit card interest must be costing you a big chunk of money a month. Without that would giving your son enough money to pay for university if he takes out as much loan as he can and works part time himself?

You and your husband will both get really long summer holidays, especially you working in a private school. If you both spent that time working you could hopefully pay off a big chunk of that. Great if you can find something teaching adjacent (although I don't know how much demand there is for tutoring etc in the summer holidays), but failing that if you go to the local temp agencies they will hopefully find you something even if it's minimum wage. Of course go through your outgoings as has already been suggested. Are you upgrading things like phones on a regular basis? That really adds up when older phones can carry on for years.

I compare my life now to 2008 when I made the decision to have children
And I would not have made the same decision now it’s absolutely horrendous in comparison.
We used to have a summer holiday abroad for two weeks and at least one extra trip to Centre Parks as well
That would be completely out of our reach now even with inflation busting pay rises which we’ve both had

80k in London isn’t much really. Not with the cost of things here. Travel on public transport is expensive, as is food and general living really. Which is why I’m leaving.

Apart from it being in the OP, it's been pointed out time and again on this thread that she teaches at a private school.

Somebody mentioned credit card Debt
If you’re struggling, Phone them up and tell them that you want a 3 to 6 month holiday to get on top of things
It won’t do your credit rating any good but it doesn’t sound as though you want to be borrowing any more money at the moment.

It will be harder being surrounded by the extremely comfortable - ultra rich. It's easy for people to assume you're jealous or say you shouldn't compare, but we do naturally, subconsciously take cues from those around us as to how life is.

I haven't been on a holiday in years, and the short trips I've been on have been in this country. I can't afford a new pair of shoes even tho the only pair I can actually wear right now (injury, I need supportive shoes) are broken. I only buy secondhand clothes. I work three jobs. I have other privileges and strokes of good luck that mean I'm not on the breadline, but I'm aware my daily life is well beneath what many mid-level earners would consider normal.

I don't say this in a lecturey way at all, more to illustrate that it makes a difference what you're surrounded by. Most of my friends are in very similar circumstances to me, so to me this is just normal life.

Also it is known that we are in a cost of living crisis. Wages have not kept up with inflation and a variety of causes (covid, Brexit, climate crisis, etc.) are combining to increase the prices of many things even more. So objectively, yes, life is too expensive for many people right now. But it's also worth examining what you've assumed is normal and necessary in your life that might be making you feel stressed. I've found lots of middle class people view some things as normal essentials which I wouldn't, so it could be worth evaluating.

Brighton? That's not a great salary, but if you've only been teaching for 5 years I imagine you'll be moving up the payscale pretty rapidly, upto low 50s? That will make a big difference. And you could take active steps at trying to get promotion (or creating promotion opportunities for yourself). Your salary could be drastically different in 5 years.

OH teaches in a state school. Presumably they’d rather go on holiday together.

Would also add that if we had left it till the last minute to book ( literally the night before) we could have had the same holiday for £89! It flashed up on fb and i did actually look as if i was going to book and that was the cost

I don't get it.

I earn £80k, I'm a single parent, so your combined wages but with just one tax free allowance and paying more in higher rate income tax. I have two children and live just outside London. Money is plentiful.

I do think life is very expensive these days. It seems like only a few years ago a meal out locally cost about £25-30 for two adults for food. Now its £50. Prices have practically doubled or increased by a huge amount across the board for everything while while wages have stagnated.

Two people on minimum wage is just under £60k.

So no, it's really not a big income.

However, I don't know how teacher's pay works, as in they don't work for 12 weeks/3 months a year. Private school, more like 4+ mths off. Can you not get another job for the time you are not working?

She mentioned her husband teaching in state school

I’m not surprised you’re struggling on 80k…costs are crazy these days. You have to work more than an hour mon minimum wage to buy your kids ice cream these days. Ridiculous.

Im assuming you’re in the southeast…where I think it’s hard to get by comfortably on less than 100k pa. Mortgage for a reasonable family home, food, holidays etc.

you’ll have long holidays in private so look for something then, save whatever you earn for a future holiday.

unfortunately you are realising that when you borrow money (even if it sounds doable and necessary at the time) it causes problems down the line. You need to cut up your credit cards and live within your means, I mean it with kindness, you have learnt the hard way. Can your dc take a gap year and work to save for university? My dc managed to save £15k working in McDonald’s full time for a year then kept it pt at university

No it isnt, its circa £50k, 10k is a fairly decent difference.

@Gffbjjgfddbjkkm if you’re both teachers then if you’re strategic you can boost your salary.
Look for a role in a different school - with more responsibility or across the border to move from England pay scales to fringe or outer London pay scales.
Just moving schools could significantly improve you’re earnings - sometimes even accounting for travel costs.

Happy to help navigate the options in teaching if you DM me - I’ve been a teacher now for almost 20 years and have learnt that loyalty to a school doesn’t mean much!

I was going to respond with a comment but having read ALL your posts I can see why you're in a pickle.

The fact is you've only been working for 5 years.
So you've not even reached the top end of the basic pay scale for teaching which is 6 years.

Basically, you're both earning the same as newish teachers in their late 20s, yet you have children who are coming up to 18.

Teaching has never been well paid (I was one- in a private school.)

But if you're teaching at Eton, Harrow, Charterhouse, Westminster, HA, etc you should be on a higher pay scale than state schools and you can grow your salary with more responsibility.

You obviously knew what the salary was before you went into teaching later in life, so it should not be a surprise.

You could I assume do some work during the school holidays as they are much longer. (If you contract allows this.)

Sounds a difficult time with re-training and this starting at a lower salary. However, both of you should increase salaries over the coming years, presumably have pensions from previous jobs as well for the future. You do not have that much left to pay for your home, which as it is in the SE should be a good asset.

it is now that is a cash flow situation,

Tutoring and exam marking sound great for you both.

also, as a Uni student your oldest child should be able to start earning through his studies to help pay his way.

Well, quite. It certainly doesn't cost £80k a year or we'd all be up to our gills in debt.

Wages haven't kept up with inflation is the problem. We spent all our money bailing out the banks and we've been fucked ever since.

£40k doesn't buy you the same as the equivalent would have done 25 years ago.

The equivalent to today's £40k, 25 years ago, would have been £21k. No teacher was earning that, in 2000. Shit, I was earning more than that for a stress-free lowly admin job, in 2000. Teachers' starting salary back then was £25k so clearly something's up with wages. And that's in a unionised workforce with incremental pay scales. Outside of the public sector, pay is even worse, comparative to before NatWest et al came at us for the £billions.

You need some financial advice because having £9K on credit cards means you're paying a lot of interest each month.

This has built up over years I assume, not just the past 5.

Your mortgage is tiny. Maybe you need to look again at who it's with and shop around. Many young people now have mortgages closer to £200K.

I don't want to be mean but my guess is that you have both spent beyond your means over the years, maybe with expensive lease cars rather than something older, phone contracts etc.

Insurances? Might be worth looking at again. You should only need car, home and mortgage.

You've for the double whammy of a student loan and low-ish earnings in midlife because you decided to retrain (assuming your previous jobs paid less.)