To think that life is too expensive?

[Gffbjjgfddbjkkm]

Feel so frustrated.

I work full-time teaching in one of the most expensive schools in the world. DH works full time too. We each earn about £40k.

I'm having to take on a weekend job, just to be able to scrape by to afford to send DS to university next year. Who wants to work seven days a week?!

Would love a really decent holiday, but can't afford that.

I'm sick of working so hard work with nothing but financial stress. Neither of us is likely to inherit much, if anything.

Your income is only relevant to your outgoings.

Maybe try posting your outgoings so people can offer advice, or reduce what you spend?

Her holidays will possibly fall outside state school dates.

However choosing to buy a car on a credit card will probably put holidays down the priority list.

You have a tiny mortgage and a decent income, what on earth are you spending money on?!

For most of us it’s about priorities. We can rather have a more expensive house and cars OR holiday. We chose to relocate to a cheaper, but beautiful, area and be able to afford a week all inclusive in the sun or travelling across Canada for 2 weeks, because for us that’s where we get our joy. Sounds like your balance is way off.

And it's that credit card debt that is the clincher. Unless it's at 0% it will be costing you a fortune.

So it’s not housing and it’s not childcare costs and you have over 5k a month to live off and are struggling ?

2 or 3 k for your basics including food

where the other 2 to 3 k go?

have you done a spreadsheet and full detailed analysis ?

40k is pretty low for a top private school- are you just starting out teaching? I’d say most private school teachers without additional responsibilities would be on at least 50k in the top schools

@ohbumbagsprivate school holidays tend to start a week earlier than state school (and half terms may have 2 weeks rather than 1). The price of holidays outside private AND state school holidays is significantly less. In the weeks that only private schools have, they are still more expensive. And the state school holiday period is more expensive still.

20 per month is 240.
That's less than half of 500.

Ooops....I meant a week.

We had a single income not much in excess of that, so 40% tax band, no child benefit etc, in the South East, and sent two kids to private school and Uni. We have a large house, two cars, and a holiday every year. Never had any debts. We don't spend much else though tbh.

Untrue sadly

Well it's better than £80k for a single income household with the same amount of teenagers. I agree it's not massive but it should be possible to have an annual holiday and not be lying awake at night worrying.

Tutoring is a good call and I imagine in am area like that and your dh working for this renowned school demand will be high and he'll be able to charge a decent amount. I would also look at exam marking - people moan about the hourly rate but you do end up with a good lump sum, which for me, gives me my summer spending money.

I agree - 40k isn't even close to the higher rate tax threshold so is very much an average wage.

Good for you. 🫣

I sympathise with you. I earn £70k and have a £97k mortgage with 1 DS about to go to university and wonder where the money goes. However, we are lucky in that we saved for DS since he was baby and we have holidays abroad.

You get 2 tax allowances so you should be better off. I would go through all outgoing for the leak. Possibly the children's activities and spending money? Teens are expensive - phones, tablets, laptops, shoes, etc.

@Gffbjjgfddbjkkm why are you only earning £40k? DD is 27, two years qual, teaches at a private secondary and is on £42.5k. She supplements that with tutoring in the evenings and the holidays for an extra £150pw. Also in the SE.

Thanks everyone. It's actually just over £9k on credit card. Wish I hadn't checked.

DH works in a state school and DSs are also in state.

Big outgoings include mortgage, credit cards, student loans, various insurances, phones, car costs, clubs and activities for DSs and food.

Firstly, I am sorry you are stressed - regardless of the numbers involved, worrying about money especially when you already work full time so have limited more to give to earn more is horrible.

It does sound like there’s probably a lot of wiggle room to get your expenses down though - what debt do you have? Are the credit cards 0%? Have you drawn up ins and outs and really challenged?

We are fortunate to be a high income household but with 3 kids it doesn’t go as far as I want it to 🙈 we had to get strict with ourselves and were amazed at all the little £10/£20 on things and how it added up.

We've both trained as teachers during covid because, so have been teaching for five years

Including training year and two ECT years.
He's in state, I'm in independent. I'm paid less.

you need to get down more specific details before you can find out where you are spending more than most people would - I would never list phones and various insurances as a particular significant cost for example

We will also apply to mark exam papers

Unless your credit card is on 0% interest then I’d very seriously suggest looking at taking out a personal loan to clear the credit cards completely as the interest rate on cc is abysmal - mine are currently 23% and 35%. And they’re with big name banks.

As hard as it is to do you and husband need to sit down and make a spreadsheet of absolutely everything that is going out - literally every penny, including your Starbucks and avocado toast (TFIC) or your snack when you fill up the car. Husband and I are both awful at money and we’ve had to do this since we finally bought a house 6 months back and it’s amazing how much shit we really do not need to be spending.
Good luck!

Yes it is expensive, utilities cost more, food prices keep rising etc etc. But then I also think people have a lot of luxuries they consider essentials, which aren't really essentials at all. Expensive phone contracts, multiple streaming services, £100 sky tv packages, various subscriptions, gym membership, new cars.

Download YNAB. Use it.
You need to know to the last penny what your money is doing for you. And your spending.

Take an evening to go through all your direct debits. Make a note of when things are out if contract.

Log in to all suppliers and check balances and readings. Every month.

Moneysaving expert is a good website with a great forum.

Get your credit report and balance transfer 0% onto a 0% card. Even if its only 500.

Get your money sorted out, and then once its under control, look at holidays next year, and work it out. Ie tesco club card points pay for our euro train every year without fail. What's a decent holiday, for you all? Start planning. Stop worrying and sort it out. You're in a spiral.